Signs

One of our favorite pastimes driving the roads of Victoria is seeing various road signs that are truly foreign to the US. A large proportion are animal crossing signs e.g., kangaroo, echidna, wombat, and koala. Some are your warning or danger signs like no swimming – crocodiles / sharks.

Watch for Kangaroos

Koala Crossing

Check under your car for Penguins (from Philip Island)

Duh

Other signs fall under curious naming conventions for businesses such as “Dental Spa” (really? A spa for your mouth?) or, one of Marlys’ personal favorites, “Aussie Indian Trendy Cuisine” Restaurant (friends and family that have visited will likely recall us pointing this place out), We’ve never eaten at the Aussie Indian Trendy Cuisine restaurant but we can certainly understand a food craving when having plain old Indian or merely Trendy Aussie food will NOT satisfy!

Last year the highways were dotted with massive, “DOB IN A HOON” signs. To “dob in” means to inform or tell on. In Australia a “dobber” (also known as a “dibby dobber”) is a tattle-tale. Hoon is a shortened version of hooligan. So the sign urging motorists to ‘dob in a hoon’ translates to, “if you see a reckless drivers, please call police!”

http://www.police.vic.gov.au/content.asp?Document_ID=15478

This latest sign was a from our trip to Queensland. It speaks for itself...unless of course you have no idea what a bandicoot is....

Aussie Celebrity Sightings

We’ve had a few brushes with famous Aussies: John Howard (whilst still Prime Minister) at the airport, various footballers dining out at trendy Melbourne bistros, friends who live down the street from Geoffrey Rush, and St. Kilda - the funky suburb just down the road- is filled with up and coming musicians, artists, and actors. We also know a former PDIer who’s getting regular theatre work and is breaking into television – both commercials and TV series like “City Homicide”. A missed celebrity sighting was at Finger Pier in Sydney we were witness to a drunken bloke yelling up at Russell Crowe’s schmick (slang for extravagant/ luxurious) apartment, “Go back to NZ, ya kiwi!!”

Last night was the pinnacle of celeb sightings. Bill Hunter was sinking a pot at “our local” (Aussie for your neighborhood pub) Gunn Island – aka The Gunn. Who is Bill Hunter? You’ve probably never heard his name but you’d immediately know him if you see him. He’s Australia’s version of JT Walsh – the ubiquitous supporting cast member you always see but don’t always recall his name. Bill Hunter was in Gallipoli with Mel Gibson, played Muriel’s father in Muriel’s Wedding, Bob in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and the voice of the dentist in Finding Nemo. He was also in Baz Lurhman’s Australia. But Bill was happy having a beer at the local pub just like any other regular bloke.

The Aussies are very proud of their countrymen and women who’ve made it big in Hollywood. After a while, it seems like every star is Australian. Besides Academy Award winners Rush and Crowe, there are Cate Blanchett, Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Keith Urban, Rachael Griffiths, Toni Collette, Eric Bana, Anthony LaPaglia, Melissa George (just joined Grey’s Anatomy), Hugh Jackman, Kylie Minogue, Bryan Brown, the Veronicas, Guy Pearce, George Lazenby (the least famous James Bond), Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee), Judy Davis, Gemma Ward, Dame Edna, the BeeGees, and, of course, Australia’s sweetheart, Olivia Newton-John. There is also the slightly decomposed Heath Ledger and Steve Irwin and the long departed Errol Flynn. Seems the Aussies punch above their weight when it comes to celebrities.

Why Canberra?

When we decided to go to Canberra, ACT (Australia Capital Territory – akin to the "DC" in Washington DC) people were perplexed. "You’re going to Canberra? Why Canberra? Do you love roundabouts?" While we wish we had a sexy answer like, "we’re respective ambassador candidates for Finland and Ireland", the truth is we’re on a mission to visit all 8 Australian states. 8 for 8, baby. Tick the box, we’ve been to ‘em all! Wooohooo! (Yes, we do realize how sad this makes us look…..)

As in the US, in Australia there’s a healthy competition between states. Warring New South Wales and Victoria are like typical siblings. Fighting and trying to best each other. There’s a particularly spirited rivalry between the two major cities of Melbourne and Sydney. Sydneysiders smirk when you mention you’re from Melbourne and Melbournians offer a malevolent sneer when anyone mentions the ‘evil city’ Sydney. Continuing along the family theme, if VIC and NSW are siblings then Queensland is the dumb blonde cousin - everyone rolls their eyes if some banana bender from Brisbane tries to sound intelligent. As for Tasmania, the small island state to the south, they are the ‘hicks’ - inbred and married to their first cousin. Am sure you get the picture so we won't even go into the sandgropers from WA or the troppo buffoons from NT.

Back to Canberra. The ACT is almost entirely made up of Canberra, the nation’s capital. Canberra was selected as the capital because Sydney and Melbourne both wanted the honor. More importantly, each city didn’t want the other one to end up as capital, so it was finally agreed (in 1901) that neither Sydney or Melbourne would be the Seat of Government of the Commonwealth. Furthermore, Melbourne insisted the capital had to be at least one hundred miles from Sydney. So, from 1902 to 1908 over 40 districts were proposed as possible capitals. The number was whittled down to 23 and then to 7 and, based on multiple criteria (sufficient water supply, climate, etc), Canberra was eventually chosen. Once the location was set, the next step was to design the capital city. Australia ran an international competition to select a city designer. Walter Burley Griffin, a landscape architect – and Yank from Chicago and disciple of Frank Lloyd Wright - won.

Burley Griffin's plan was to leverage the natural landform, waterways, and hilly undulations to create a city. A taxi driver told us Burley Griffin’s view was the government should serve the people so the civic buildings shouldn’t be “above” the eye level (ie on top of a hill like many castles) but at eye level – a government to serve its people and peers. In addition, Burley Griffin incorporated many Usonian principles dear to Frank Lloyd Wright in his designs. Central to his plan was a large artificial lake and a 'parliamentary triangle' for the most important national buildings. The surrounding city would be circular and radial in shape, which would fit the general topography of Canberra. We’re now up to 1911 and it wasn’t until 1913 when the first foundation stone was actually laid. Soon after WWI broke out – lack of funding slowed the city’s progress. Frustrated by many delays, Burley Griffin left Canberra in 1920 - 7 years before the Parliament building was completed. The Great Depression brought about more financial constraints and so it wasn’t until the 40’s and 50’s when national buildings – including a magnificent War Memorial - were finished.

Canberra today has the huge lake - Lake Burley Griffin - at its heart and huge circular streets (the city looks like crop circles from the air) and a long wide boulevard – on one end is the War Memorial – on the other the new Parliament House with the Old Parliament building about mid-way between.


The War Memorial is sensational. A fantastic tribute to the diggers and all of Australia’s armed forces. They have tutorials on the wars, exhibits, relief maps, pictures, recordings, video, and plenty of docents offering assistance. The memorial closes each day with a moment of silence and lone trumpeter playing the Last Post. Very powerful and incredibly moving.

Wall of names - fallen soldiers at War Memorial

Boulevard between War Memorial and Parliament

War Memorial

Old Parliament House was the home of the Federal Parliament starting in 1927. From the beginning Old Parliament was to be the “temporary” home of government - albeit for 50 years - and would house approximately 300 politicians and staff. By the time the new Parliament was completed in 1988 the Old Parliament was crammed with 3,000 staffers.

A quick word about Aussie politicians. Being a commonwealth country, Australian politics have similar parliamentary traditions as the UK. Politicians will boo, hiss, harrumph and engage in colourful name-calling during opponents speeches. We have your typical gamut of politicians – glib and clever; the ignoble, your milquetoast variety, the idiots. One candidate from the Liberal party (conservative) recently announced he could have won the election that John Howard lost in a land slide… if only he had listened to his wife’s advice to run. One perpetual candidate campaigning in Queensland just had nude pictures of her splashed over the TV, newspapers, and Internet. Her spokesperson, in usual unruffled Aussie fashion said, “She doesn’t care.” That is, she didn’t care until she realised the pictures were not of her after all. A debate ensued and she got a formal retraction. Of course considering her initial response we all know she did indeed – at some point - pose for nude pictures.

New Parliament – the interior is very much a celebration of all things Aussie. A gorgeous and impressive building that uses various Australian timbers and numerous displays of Australian art and craftwork. The color scheme also reflects the land of Oz - The House of Representatives is the color of eucalyptus; the Senate color resembles the red earth.

We don’t think we’ll ever work for the Canberra tourist bureau but it was worthy of a visit and, to say we’ve got 8 for 8 Aussie states, is the bonus.

Absolutely Positively Wellington

We celebrated Matt’s 40th birthday (Feb 13) in the southernmost capital in the world: Wellington, New Zealand. Wellington is a stunning harbor city surrounded by rolling hills and boasts a sufficiently vague tourism slogan… “Absolutely Positively Wellington”.

If Melbourne is like Minneapolis with its straight well-planned gridded streets, than Wellington is a sister to St Paul, with windy streets and twisting alleys that start and stop with no rhyme or reason. (Sorry, Mr. Ventura, I don’t know how many drunken Irishmen were on the city works payroll in the mid-1860s). St. Paul city “planning” aside, Wellington reminded us of Seattle – it has a similar climate and scenery, a diverse popluation, and a cool, young, urban vibe.

The birthday boy (did I mention he’s now FORTY??) found lots to do. First stop - satisfy dorky inner selves by visiting various Lord of the Rings film locations. This includes screeching to a halt in order to read all LOTR sign posts, exploring "Rivendell", and engaging in embarrassing behavior such as dodging traffic to nonchalantly inspect a small, empty gravel pit that once served as Helms Deep. Positively nerd-tastic!!!

After the dry, scorching heat of Melbourne we loved the mild sunny weather - perfect for exploring the surrounding area. We spent one day in Martinborough wine country (not to be confused with Marlborough which is on the South Island) and a day on the Kapiti Coast hiking along the Tasman Sea.

As the capital, Wellington has some of the best museums in the country. We visited the Wellington City Museum and Te Papa National Museum. The latter is their version of DC’s Smithsonian and has a fantastic permanent collection of New Zealand’s cultural and natural history, including exhibits on earth, plants, earthquakes, oceans, art, birds, marine life, the railway, immigrants, an extensive Maori and Tongan exhibit, and, currently, a temporary exhibit on Monet and the Impressionists. Whew! The pièce de résistance is the world’s only complete colossal squid. This huge mollusc was found and frozen in Antarctica and brought to Te Papa scientists in 2003 to be defrosted and examined (the catching, defrosting, examining of the world's largest invertebrate was captured on film by The Discovery Channel if you want to see/learn more.). How big is colossal, you ask? To give you an idea, its eyes are the size of soccer balls.

Wellington got high marks when it came to feeding and quenching our gastro - oenophile tendencies. With the kiwi dollar at near record lows (Hurray, global financial crisis!), we ate like kings. Our first night we lucked out and got a table at the eternally popular Matterhorn Restaurant (opened in the early 1960’s but won NZ’s top restaurant again in 2008). At the Matterhorn (of all names) we feasted on tuna sashimi, crispy veal sweetbreads, Wairarapa grouper, and Hawkes Bay lamb. We also went to the White House (not to be confused with Obama’s new digs) for carpaccio of octopus (replete with Japanese pickles, kelp sorbet and wasabi jelly), salt and pepper calamari, steak, and salmon. All washed down with crisp Sauvignon Blancs and perfumed Pinot Noirs.

Wellington gets a big thumbs up. Oh. And Matt is 40.

Absolutely positively 40.

The Fires

Marlys and I were going to put out a typically cheeky blog post about the stinking hot weather we’ve been having here in Melbourne, but events in the interim have taken a decidedly more somber turn. If you’ve seen the news in the last 48 hours, you undoubtedly know there have been devastating bushfires across Victoria, with most around Melbourne. The multiple fires have left well over 800 square miles of damage to property and forests. Even worse, over a hundred, and probably hundreds, of people have burned to death trying to escape after little or no warning. It is absolutely, positively horrifying.

We haven’t had appreciable rain for months, and in the past few weeks the temperatures have been brutally hot, with the highs over 110 F several times. Matt went hiking a week ago and we the “grass” was so dry and burnt out it actually crackled when you walked on it. By last Wednesday the forecast said Saturday would be a scorcher with high sustained winds. That, coupled with the tinderbox drought conditions, means high bushfire probability. The TV was full of advisories that people should have their fire plan ready and be prepared to evacuate their homes at an instant. They said it would be the worst bushfire conditions ever – even worse than those for the famous Ash Wednesday fires of 30+ years ago.

Saturday came and the heat was even worse than predicted – 117F, a new all-time record for Melbourne. And it was hotter in the bush. We planned our day to avoid the heat – a trip to the art museum (air conditioned to protect the paintings) followed by a movie (Slumdog Millionaire) in an air conditioned theater. But the time spent outside was like beign in a convection oven, with blasts of heat swirling around. There was no cool breeze.

When we left the art museum about 4pm the sky was an eerie gray. You could see a few white clouds against the dull ashen backdrop but not a speck of blue. We immediately figured there were fires in the area and dense smoke was to blame.

The news Saturday night talked about bushfires everywhere. Numbers jumped from 11 to 26 to over 35 but it’s only been in the last 24 hours that the real horror of what happened, and what is happening, became apparent. All those who have died, many missing, and whole towns destroyed. And the stories: of roads filled with choking smoke. Of people desperate to get back to the house to find a family pet. Farmers going to their fields and euthanizing their cattle and sheep to put them out of their misery. Pictures of poor half burnt kangaroos frantically bouncing to escape surrounding fires.

If you look at our “Places We’ve Been” list along the right hand side of this blog, you’ll see “Marysville” listed. It was one of the first day trips we ever made, and we’ve brought a few visitors up there as well – to see the waterfalls and mountain ashes and eat at the bakery. It had the best Scottish shortbread.

We say “had” because Marysville is gone. Burned off the face of the map. As of today 12 people from Marysville are dead and they figure they’ll find more bodies as they go through the houses and cars left smoldering on the sides of the road. To have this lovely town full of the nicest people expunged from the face of the earth is something we’re still trying to get our heads around. It breaks our heart. And it’s just one of the places devastated. Nearly all the "VIC" places listed to the right have had fires.

We do not know anyone who’s lost life or property personally. Our friends and their families are all currently safe, even the ones who live deeper in the bush. We are very worried about Fay and the farm near Yarram (where Matt suffered his Australia Day injury), but as of today she’s OK. She’s in a spot where the forests behind her house haven’t burned in a long time – and that means lots of deadfall kindling. The fires have come within a half kilometer of her place, she lost power, the roads closed, and she had the car packed and ready to go. But as of now the fires haven’t come closer. We’re keeping up the prayers.

Watching the news and talking to our friends is hard. The stories are so horrific - finding charred bodies of families in cars, families split by the fire and don’t know if the others made it out, stories of last phone calls saying good bye to children or parents from homes about to be burned. It’s gut wrenching. Both the premier (governor) and the Prime Minister have visibly broken down on TV. The reporters have also struggled to keep their composure.

And it gets worse. This is not a natural disaster. Many, if not all, of the fires were set by humans. That makes this mass murder and to consider the selfishness and evil that would lead someone to set one of these fires is something we don’t want to dwell on.

If you want to help, the Australian Red Cross is taking donations for money that will go directly to the bushfire victims. You can donate online at: https://www.redcross.org.au/Donations/onlineDonations.asp. (I’m sure the bankers will take their cut in foreign exchange fees and the like, but every little bit helps.) We’re not ones who typically push donations to a cause – but now this is a good time to start. Today there is a toiletries collection in the office, because so many of the fire refugees (and there are thousands) don't even have toothpaste.

The running joke around our office is that we've seen more of Victoria than the locals, and it may be true. But this means the places on the fire maps are not just names - we can see them, we have memories of them, we know them a little. These are real places with real people that are now gone.

Victoria and Minnesota are almost identical in size and population. While Minnesota is our home state, Victoria is our chosen state. Today we are so sad for our beautiful state, our adopted country, and our grieving countrymen.

Humor Before Pride

Below is an actual e-mail Matt sent to our Melbourne co-workers. Because Marlys has already been surreptitiously leaking it to various people, the Aliantravels editorial board decided to publish it in its entirety and let everyone on earth know about how Matt spent Wednesday morning. It needs no further introduction. Enjoy.

____________________

From: O'Toole, Matt
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 8:55 AM
To: All Melbourne
Subject: Important Safety Notice

Dear Fellow Melbourne Office Teammembers,

As I was rushing to get a cuppa before my 7 AM conference call in which I was presenting, I left my key card in my office and so thought I'd just pop into the unisex toilet next to the kitchen. I stepped in, accomplished my business, and when I turned to leave I noticed a funny thing: the handle for the door was missing. "How strange" was my first thought. "How the heck am I going to get out of here?" was my second. I looked around for the handle or other method of releasing the door, but as a soggy towel is really only useful for preventing smoke from entering a room during a fire, there was no means of release at hand. I settled down to wait for one of my co-workers to arrive for their first cup of tea.

As the hours passed many thoughts went though my mind, but in the spirit of Jeremy Bentham I tried to use my time of incarceration for self improvement. I counted the tiles on the ceiling (16. And by the way, where did the cover for the light fixture go?). I went through the alphabet naming Victorian country towns - Ararat, Bunyip, Colac, Dandenong ("Wait", I thought. "Does Dandenong count as “country”? It's so close to Melbourne."). I tried to come up with less embarrassing explanation for my absence from the conference call - "I was locked in a toilet" does not inspire confidence or respect for your judgment and common sense. And I plotted slow, sweet revenge on whoever took the handle and didn't let people know the door to the toilet is buggered.

Eventually Barb arrived and she, Maria and I worked to get the door opened. In the spirit of the prison leitmotif, they passed me food and drink though the slot at the bottom of the door during this period. Eventually we got it open and I was paroled to breathe the sweet air of freedom again. Or at least air untainted by Oust and other cleaning supplies.

Why am I sharing my embarrassing and unhappy morning with you? It's to impart a few valuable lessons:

1. The door to the toilet by the kitchen is broken. Do not use that toilet unless you are prepared to prop the door open.
2. If in the future you learn of a dangerous or confinement-causing condition at the office, please inform your fellow workers. An e-mail may be a good idea. And might I also suggest a note on the door?
3. Henceforth, all my children will be named Barb and Maria. Even the boys.
4. When going to the toilet, always bring food and a phone. You just never know.

Kind regards,

Matt

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Happy New Year! We are back from a fantastic two weeks exploring New Zealand’s South Island. Since there was way too much to put into one blog posting, here are the highlights:

Queen Charlotte Sound

Best Breakfast: We stayed at B&Bs most days, so had our share of delicious breakfasts (organic eggs, homemade bread dripping with New Zealand’s Manuka honey, fresh squeezed juice, great coffee, etc.). Matt, who is never one for chit-chat with strangers first thing in the AM, lists his favorite breakfast as the one provided by the hotel in Christchurch. None. He stopped at Starbucks for a nice big cup of coffee after his run and enjoyed it in the quietude of our room.

Best Hike: Routeburn Track. New Zealand is renowned for its tracks and we spent an hour or two one some almost very day. Routeburn is one of the most famous tracks and we spent a morning walking part of it – crossing rope bridges, raging mountain rivers, seeing waterfalls and gorges and other alpine scenery.

Best Hike Deux: Matt climbed Ben Lomond, a mountain above Queenstown. It is a mile high and involved crossing multiple narrow ridges to reach the apex (where it drops precipitously on both sides). Despite the rigorous climb, he was rewarded with spectacular views of the Southern Alps with Lake Wakatipu shimmering below. At the same time Marlys was enjoying a spectacular view of the inside of her eyelids as she enjoyed a 1.5 hour massage followed by a pedicure.
Best NZ beer: Steinlager for Marlys and Speight’s for Matt. We went on the Speight’s brewery tour in Dunedin (east coast). In the tasting room, Marlys taught everyone the Finnish toast, “Kiipis” which (essentially) means, “cheers!”. The Aussie tourists in the group LOVED this toast because they thought it sounded like “get pissed!”

Speight's Brewery

Best Idiom: “Nerd-tastic”. Matt spent NZ$25 on a guidebook specializing in Lord of the Rings film locations. He thought he was so cool until we happened to see this particular book described in Lonely Planet as the “nerdtastic” book for the type of groupies who live in their parents’ basement and spend a lot of time pretending to be a wizard in an online game. Of course, that’s not to say we still didn’t visit every location we could. We would stop at the site, look at the vista, sigh, turn to each other and say “It certainly is nerdtastic, isn’t it?”

Idiom Runner Up: In New Zealand hiking is called “tramping”. You can imagine the witticisms that engendered over the course of the trip.

Best Seafood (aka Biggest Surprise of the trip): we could also call this category oddest restaurant – Stumper’s. Stumper’s was bar/restaurant in the seaside town called Hokitika where we spend one night (by the way the hotel wins the “worst room” award because the room smelled like “damp mop ala’ creepy basement”). Hokitika, despite the promising location of right on the Tasman Sea, isn’t much of a town and we explored the two main streets within 5 minutes (on foot). Stumper’s was conveniently located across the street from our odiferous hotel; it was one of the few open places (it was New Year’s Day), and by all looks it was hopping with business. We wove our way through a bunch of drunk, scruffy locals lounging outside and ordered the blue cod. As we waited for dinner, we were entertained by one of the locals arguing with his girlfriend, then duking it out with friends about not wanting to get in the car and leave (picture this – girlfriend in back seat, boyfriend standing in open car door - girlfriend tugging boyfriend’s jeans at the waist, friends standing next to guy trying to corral and push him into the back seat). Due to his condition, bobbing and weaving was not a problem. This was eventually resolved when the police showed up and put him in their car for a ride. The surprise? The blue cod was absolutely fantastic – fresh, perfectly prepared, and in two weeks of eating seafood for dinner (every night but one), Matt pronounced it the best of the lot.

Marlborough Wine Country

A Very Aussie Christmas

We had a couple sweltering days last week but on for the 24th and 25th the weather was perfect. We worked Christmas Eve morning and then had a potluck brunch - complete with Kris Kringle and champagne - with colleagues. Then we went to Christmas mass at the oldest Catholic church in Melbourne, St. Francis, which has an unusual and beautiful cedar ceiling. Our first antipodal Christmas was spent with our friends the Alessios at their beach house on the Mornington Peninsula. Christmas eve was a traditional Aussie barbeque with snags (sausages), lamb roast, and some summer salads. Christmas morning we took a walk along the beach where the winds were calm and the sea a clear blue/ green. We walked to the end of Rye Pier (John, Frani, Nita, you’ve all been to this pier) where we spotted a massive stingray and the local seal that regularly suns itself on the pier.

Christmas day was with the extended Alessio clan – 26 in all – feasting on the northern traditional Christmas feast if turkey, pork, and ham, roast potatoes, green beans, etc. The meal was capped with traditional plum pudding – a secret Alessio family recipe. It’s a dark dense boozy collection of stewed fruit, nuts, brandy and cake. Old coins are buried within the pudding, and one coin, a sterling silver florin is good luck. The finder gets to keep the coin and according to tradition will receive a year of good fortune. While neither of us received the buried treasure, we savored the dessert. We returned to Melbourne that evening so we can go to the cricket on the 26th. But given the sun hadn’t set at 9 PM, we went for a ride along the beach where all the families were winding up their family events. As for the cricket today, the Boxing Day Test is one of the most famous matches known for hot sun and an “enthusiastic” crowd. We’ve slapped on the sunscreen and are looking forward to a slow, relaxing day. Tomorrow we head to New Zealand for two weeks so you won’t see an update to the blog until mid-January.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Weekend Weather Comparison

As I sat here working with one eye on the cricket on TV (Australia is batting and leads South Africa in the second innings of the first test by 203 runs, in case you're wondering) I got a St Paul weekend weather report: snow, poor roads, high temps in the teens.

Weather in Melbourne this weekend - sunny and 70s. And now that my work is done, we're going to the pub and enjoy a cold beer in the sun.

But I'd still prefer a white Christmas in MN.

A Day of Thanks

Thanksgiving and all that goes with it - eating turkey, pumpkin pie, and mounds of mashed potatoes - is a uniquely American phenomena (although the Canadians have a similarly named holiday). With Matt in the US for the Thanksgiving and Melbourne embarking on summer – it didn’t really ‘feel’ like Thanksgiving so I thought I’d just let this American holiday slide on by. My dear Aussie friends, Dominique, Maria, and Jen had another idea altogether.

For weeks these three had been conspiring WITH MY MOTHER to put on a surprise, honest-to-goodness Aukee Thanksgiving dinner of turkey with all the trimmings. Family recipes like yams with pecans and marshmallows and rutabaga casserole made their way to a Melbourne table thanks to email, much time to converting family recipes from imperial measurements to metric, and driving to the lone USA store that sells canned pumpkin (another Aussie slang term for you – “in the middle of nowhere” is referred to as “woop woop”).

The clever ruse was an invite to Jen’s for pizza so I wouldn’t have to spend Thanksgiving alone. Sounds good, I thought, all this alone time is torture for my extroversion.

6pm on Thanksgiving night I walked into Jen’s house and was greeted by the giddy looking trio. First they brought me to the dining room, which had a beautiful tablecloth laid with Jen’s finest china, wineglasses, and full silverware. There were hand-made Thanksgiving decorations on the table - felt turkeys. Wow! What a beautiful table, I said, so much trouble to go to for a pizza dinner. Well, not quite pizza. They brought me into the kitchen, opened the oven door to produce a turkey and multiple covered dishes of family favorites. I was (in another apt used Aussie term) gobsmacked. "Happy Thanksgiving!!!" they chimed.

Eight of us feasted on a delicious meal. It will always be one of my most cherished Thanksgiving memories. One that closed with a full stomach and a very full heart.

Marlys Dom Maria Jen

Happy Thanksgiving

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving from warm and sunny Melbourne!!

Australian Political Primer

Because today is Election Day in the US we thought we’d give you a quick glimpse into Australia politics/ election process.

An overview: Australia is a constitutional monarchy (Queen Elizabeth II) and a parliamentary democracy.

Australian Constitution: 1901, established a federal system of government where powers are distributed between national and state levels of government.

Head of Government: Australia has a Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd. Who reminds us of Martin from"The Simpsons". They even look a bit alike.

The legislature: Commonwealth Parliament. The Parliament is comprised of the Queen, the Senate, and the House of Representatives. The Queen is represented by the Governor-General, who in practice exercises little or no power over the Parliament. The GG serves “at the Queen’s pleasure” without a specified term (although it’s usually 5 years). This past September, for the first time ever, the queen appointed a female GG, Her Excellency Ms Quentin Bryce.

Political Parties: Australia has a number of recognized parties – Labour, Liberal, National, Democrats, Greens, and One Nation. While you’ve got your fringe parties – i.e., One Nation which runs a populist, anti-immigration platform - it is basically a two-party system. The two main ones are:
Labour party (the party of the left)
Liberal party (which…just to make it confusing to US expats…is the conservative party)


Voting: Voting is compulsory in Australia. Every Australian citizen (18 years or older) is legally compelled to vote. If you do not vote and do not have a valid and sufficient reason for failing to vote, a penalty is imposed. I suspect there’s a lot of money and time saved due to no “get out” or “rock the” vote campaigns.


Finally: One of the national TV stations ran an election poll asking Australians which candidate they would vote for in the US election. The result?
Obama 83%
McCain 17%

10 things we learned on our trip to New Caledonia

1. Air Calin (the national airline) offers free liquor on their flights. It’s only a 2.5 hour flight from Sydney to the New Caledonia capital of Noumea, but, in addition to a nice meal, they give you an appertif, wine for the meal, and then the flight attendants walk around with a brandy bottle. Très French. Most certainly not très avion américain!

2. It rains during the dry season. October is the driest month of the year and prized for its sunny weather. But we arrived in a torrential downpour - we couldn’t see 100 yards in front of us – and it remained cloudy with occasional rain the entire time we were there. The sun only broke through on our last day. But we’ll say this for New Caledonia – it was a fantastic trip and never once did it feel like the weather got in the way of a good time.

3. French Colonialism has its upsides. Here we were on a tropical island and every morning we could have wonderful coffee, breads, perfect buttery croissants. All our dinners were amazing – especially a Vietnamese meal prepared by a family that left Vietnam with the French in the 50s. Best of all, because it’s a French dependency plenty of vin rouge and vin blanc is available and duty free from the motherland.

4. The natives call it Kanakyland of the Kanaks. OK, technically we learned that from an informational placard in the botanical gardens in Melbourne, but it was so odd we had to get the word out.

5. Theft is apparently not a concern. When we got to our hotel, we locked our “valuables” (i.e, about A$50 and our blessedly inoperable blackberries) in the room safe and set our secret code. When we tried to open it the next day it wouldn’t budge. After numerous tries, we called the front desk.

• Marlys: “Our code won’t work and we can’t open our safe.”
• Pleasant French-accented receptionist: “Just to enter 0000.”
• Marlys: “Will that work?”
• Receptionist: “All ze safes in ze ‘otel open to 0000. Voila!”
• Marlys: “Ahhh. The old ‘un-safe’ safe!”
• Receptionist: “Pardonnez-moi?”

6. Over 1 million US servicemen came through during WWII. We learned this at the small but fascinating Maritime Museum in Noumea. Because it was close to Australia but sufficiently far from Japanese conquests, New Caledonia became a massive staging area for the Pacific War and the country enjoyed an economic renaissance on the back of Uncle Sam's taxpayers. The legacy is a tremendous amount of good will for Americans and interesting place names. For instance, there is a suburb of Noumea called “Motor Pool”.

7. It’s surrounded by the world’s 2nd largest reef, making it the largest lagoon in the world. This means superb diving: we spent a day checking out the reef life. Lots of sharks, turtles, barracuda, and plenty of colorful fish.

8. It’s very multi-cultural. The dive company owner/operators were French (him) and Japanese (her). He was a former French Foreign Legionnaire. They have two kids: he talks to them in French, she in Japanese, and they talk to each other in English.

9. Obama mania is a global phenomena. They get few American tourists (mainly French, Australian and Japanese) and we never heard an American accent while we were there. When people learned we were Yanks they immediately wanted to tell us how much they hoped Obama would be elected and ask us if it was true, really true, that such a wonderful thing could happen. “He’s a new Kennedy” they’d say – presumably meaning the Camelot Kennedy, not the Chappaquiddick one.

10. We want to go back.

Halloween Nicht

One of our blog readers has asked: What do Australians do for Halloween? (And you thought we ignored all those comments…). Despite the best efforts of Cadbury and Mars, the Australians do not celebrate Halloween. They know it exists and understand the basic concept, and you may find the odd decoration or costume in a store, but for the most part they think it is more than slightly strange to have a holiday where people arrive at your house unannounced, demand gifts, and commit criminal mischief if you refuse to give them anything.

Anticipating the usual follow up question, no, they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving either. But their opinion of Thanksgiving is much different. They find it downright admirable that Americans have a holiday where they stop their overworked lives, sit down with family, and give thanks for all the blessings they enjoy. Of course, we’ve never let slip the dirty little secret that after the giving of thanks Americans proceed to indulge in sloth and gluttony on such a scale that no one goes to work the next day.

I think the State Department could get a lot of positive press for the US by playing up our celebration of Thanksgiving. I mean, it’s such a great idea that the Canadians copied us and have their own Thanksgiving day - and their society’s sole raison d’etre is to be the anti-America. Maybe they justify it by loudly pointing out it’s in October.

Of course, without Halloween and Thanksgiving, Americans would just be looking forward to Christmas. Wonder what that would be like? Let me tell you – it ain’t all that great. The picture below was taken in early October in the local Big W (sort of a Walmart) and it only captures a small portion of a massive section.

Yes, the wrapping paper, bows, Santa hats, fake trees, and oodles of special Christmas presents (or “Chrissy prezzies” as they say) have been on the shelves for weeks now. A full two months before the big day! Can anyone say over-commercialism of Christmas? Bah humbug.

Editors’ note: this will be our last entry for a little while because tomorrow we make our second attempt to visit New Caledonia. During the first attempt we ended up at Ayer’s Rock instead (see a map to fully appreciate the magnitude of this detour) but we hope second time’s a charm. South Pacific– here we come!

Happy Birthday, Sydney Opera House!

Today when I made my first Google query (in Oz you’re directed to http://www.google.com.au/) – the familiar sails of the Sydney Opera House were embedded into the Google logo. This amazing landmark is 35 years old today.

It is stunning - situated on Sydney Harbour at the end of Bennelong Point. From the Opera House you can see the Sydney skyline (the CBD) and the iconic Sydney Harbour Bridge (which Matt has climbed…twice!). The Sydney Opera House is considered one of the wonders of the modern world and was named as a UNESCO world heritage site last year.

The opera house was designed by Jørn Utzon (Danish) and work started in 1958. Queen Elizabeth II officially opened the Sydney Opera House on October 20, 1973.

We've seen one opera at the Sydney Opera House – Mozart’s Don Giovanni. At intermission we kept remarking to each other how nice it was they apparently have extended intermissions in Australia - we could stand on the outside deck and look up at they twinkly lights of the Sydney skyline. But after a while we started to think it was a really long intermission. When they finally rang the little triangle to get us back in the hall, the director revealed that the lead soprano, playing Donna Anna, had taken ill and so he had called in the understudy for the second half. Unfortunately, the understudy was not in the Opera House - she was in the far suburbs and it took a while for her to arrive. But I think we would have figured out the switcheroo even if he hadn't told us - the first Donna Anna was a tall willowy blonde, in the second half she was a short woman with black hair. No matter, they both sang their hearts out.

State Fair - Southern Hemisphere Style

As most of you dear readers well know, every August the true Minnesotan’s heart turns to thoughts of corn dogs, cheese curds, crop art, “sturdy” people in Van Halen t-shirts two sizes too small, and all sorts of culinary delights on-a-stick. In other words, the State Fair. Unfortunately, Matt missed the Great Minnesota Get Together this year, and Marlys only went once – truly an insufficient amount of “somethin’ cultural” (to quote a former Sweeney’s co-worker).

Imagine our glee when we learned Melbourne hosts its own agricultural show turned citified carnival – The Royal Melbourne Show. Like the Minnesota version, it started out in days of yore (1880s) with events to determine who had the best pie, cow, horse, sow, etc, but as the area gentrified and urbanized the Royal Melbourne Show slowly but surely dedicated itself to rides, carnival games, home improvement booths, and other events that were more to the taste of the city slicker.

We approached the Royal Melbourne Show with a great deal of excitement. Jacob, the brother of our friend Lucy, was working in the farm animal nursery, and he scored us free entry ($27 per person!) as well as a backstage tour of the animal exhibits. Herewith is our comparison of the MN State Fair (MSF) and the Royal Melbourne Show (RMS):

Food
At the RMS we had fairy floss (cotton candy), chorizo sausages, corn on the cob, souvlaki, chips and Matt tried something not even our Aussie friends had seen before – a yabbie burger. Yabbies are crawfish, and for the burger the yabbies were basically mushed into an inch thick paste and spread on a hamburger bun with a piece of lettuce and a lashing of mayo. Everyone tried a bite and the opinion was unanimous: not nearly as bad as you think it would be.
MSF or RMS? Because it’s about 3 times as big, MSF has a lot more options. However, where they go head to head, MSF only wins in the corn-on-the-cob category. The fries, gyros, and fairy floss are better at the RMS.

Choice, choices

Drink
RMS: Marlys bought a milkshake and only after paying learned “milkshake” = “chocolate milk”. A word to the wise – if you want a real shake, order a “thick shake”. Then, while Marlys and Lucy rode the Ferris Wheel, Matt and Luke discovered one of the two beer gardens. It was run by a microbrewery and had a tasty selection of limited edition beer.
MSF or RMS? The MSF has lots of beer gardens and the Lutheran milkshake stand next to the art building. However, the beer the RMS is better. MSF wins on its (real) milkshakes.

Animals
Again the MSF has a lot more options. More barns, more animals. And the RMS did not have anything comparable to Matt’s favorite MSF animal: the gigantic prize pig. But thanks to the backstage tour with Jacob, we got up close and personal with some of the animals. Plus, there were emu chicks and emu eggs.
MSF or RMS? Matt can go without gigantopig one year. We’re giving this one to the RMS animal barn.

Clientele
Each event is a good spot if you are on an anthropological quest for people with mullets, interesting dress sense, profanity laced t-shirts, poor personal hygiene, bad eating habits, short-shorts and halter tops, and a limited dental complement. A tie.

Carnies
RMS accomplished what one would think impossible – they make the carnies at the MSF look positively WASPy. The two guys running the “No Limit” ride didn’t have a half set of teeth between them, and one look at them told you they hit their stash of weed during their break. All this makes one a bit queasy when there was also a sign by the ride saying “Safety is YOUR Responsibility”. RMS wins on style, MSF on safety.

Attractions
The rides and carnival games were the same, although there were fewer of them at the RMS and they were more expensive. The RMS has a thing called “show bags”, where you typically paid $10-30 for a bag full of goodies from a particular exhibitor. For instance, there was a Cadbury showbag, Pirates of the Caribbean showbag, Dora the Explorer showbag, Barbie showbag, etc. We didn’t buy any, although Matt was tempted by the Hasselhoff showbag ($20 worth of Hoff merchandise!). Some showbags get very expensive and include holidays including airfare, 5-star accommodations, etc. This year the ‘ultimate’ showbag ran a cool A$10,000 and included a large fridge with beer tap, a year’s worth of beer, a freezer filled with beef and a number of other beer or beef related accoutrement.

Beyond the showbags, there was a sad lack of the hucksters pushing ginsu knives, vibrating chairs, superdusters, closet saunas, and all the other crapola that gives the MSF its cosmopolitan air. MSF – victor.

Price
As usual, everything in Melbourne is more expensive than comparable items in Minnesota. MSF wins hands down.

Verdict
Overall, while we had a great time, the Minnesota State Fair will retain its title as the Best Fair Anywhere. Now can someone please mail me a porkchop-on-a-stick?

View from the Ferris Wheel

Melbourne Marathon

Last Sunday Matt ran the Melbourne Marathon. He finished in 3:42, which was pretty good considering (1) the last 10 miles head due north and there was a strong north wind that day and (2) about 3 weeks ago he injured his knee when a dog hit him and it flared up so bad during the race that he walked a good part of the last 4 miles.

But he he made sure to run the last bit of the race, which ends with a lap around the inside of the MCG. It was pretty cool to compete in this legendary stadium, and people at work were duly impressed - Matt was twice asked "What does the grass on the field smell like?"

As always, Marlys was the support squad extraordinaire and because the course passed near our house a few times she could easily ride her bike to cheer for Matt at different points. We both noticed that Australians cheer runners much less than Americans. At US races people clap or yell for everyone who goes by, but most Aussies only seemed to encourage people they knew.

Matt is still sore today and has no plans for another marathon. For now.

Over One Billion Served

The billionth jar of the most amazing yeast extract spread ever, Vegemite, has just been sold and that’s the number one news story today in Australia. If you have even a passing acquaintance with Australian culture you’ve heard this black paste celebrated in song (Men At Work singing about a Vegemite sandwich in “Land Down Under”) and universally acknowledged by Americans as the worst aspect of Australian culinary traditions.

It’s hard to overstate just how important Vegemite is to Australia’s sense of self. This picture is from our kitchenette at work: you can see no fewer than 4 jars, all individually labeled.

And in the grocery store you’ll see the Vegemite section, ordered by size of jar starting from the little bitty starter to the huge, gallon size family jar.

When you go to breakfast at a hotel, they’ll have little portion size packets for spreading on your toast – like the little jam packets you get at a diner in the US. And it permeates popular culture in a myriad of ways. If a TV character is late for work in the morning, he's shown rushing out of the house with his Vegemite toast in his mouth. When someone is content they’re referred to as “a happy little Vegemite”. It is also reputed to be an excellent hangover cure, but we will neither confirm nor deny that assertion…

While people will eat it at any occasion, Vegemite is most commonly eaten spread thinly on toast with an underlying layer of butter. People will hotly debate the best type of bread (ciabatta? white bread?) and proper butter/Vegemite proportion. Matt prefers his without butter on whole wheat bread. Marlys prefers hers to remain in the jar.

So happy billionth jar, Vegemite! We’ll try not to remind the Aussies their icon is owned by Kraft – headquartered in the good ol’ US of A.

Shipwreck Coast – Koalas, but no Whales

Back in 2003, one of the more memorable and visually stunning points of our trip was a day spent driving along the Great Ocean Road (GOR) southwest of Melbourne. But when it was time to return to Melbourne, we wondered: what comes after GOR? The answer? The Shipwreck Coast. And with a name like that, who could resist a trip to continue along the road and see what it’s all about?

The Shipwreck Coast stretches along the Victorian coastline from the western end of the Great Ocean Road to the South Australian border. It is so named (duh) because of the many shipwrecks that occurred there, which were caused by the exceptionally stormy seas of the Bass Strait, known to bedevil even the most seasoned captains. Gales would blow sailing ships directly into the miles of steep jagged cliffs that stretch along the coast.

We made our way via an inland route, skipping the more picturesque but winding Great Ocean Road but saving a half day of driving. We arrived in Port Campbell (where the Great Ocean Road ends) to see the famous Twelve Apostles rock formation, one of the most famous – and spectacular - natural landmarks in Australia.



From there we began the journey up the Shipwreck Coast. Our goal for the day (and where we stayed all weekend) was Warrnambool. Warrnambool (pronounced “Warrmbul” - and as one syllable) was a major whaling port in the heyday of whaling 150 years ago, principally because Right Whales and Blue Whales would winter and calve in the bay there – literally yards off shore. Nowadays, only the occasional Japanese “researcher” worries whales, and they have returned to shores of Warrnambool in such good numbers that people flock there July-September (winter) to catch a glimpse.

A few facts about Right Whales: They’re called right whales because whalers thought they were the “right” type to catch. That is, they’re big, blubbery, and float on the surface when dead. The females give birth to a calf every 3 years like clockwork. And they don’t eat the whole 3 months they’re in the bay calving. Sadly, we didn’t see any whales but we vowed to return until we spotted one.

That night we drove just 20 minutes down the coast to Port Fairy. Port Fairy is one of those seaside villages for which the term “picturesque” was invented. The charm of the town reminded us of places like Mystic and other places on the east coast of the US. We wandered around the main street (not one traffic light) and then headed to our dinner. We were lucky to score reservations at the Merrijig Inn, one of the best rural restaurants in Oz. Merrijig has just been granted an additional “chef hat” by The Age Good Food Guide, the Aussie equivalent to Zagat or Michelin. The extra ‘hat’ was well deserved -- we had a delectable meal.

Sunday we awoke to pouring rain. It’s not often we see this sort of rain – the cats and dogs type – in Australia. After 10 years of drought we’d normally be thrilled to see sheets of rain falling from the dark full clouds. However, we had been planning to hike in Mt Richmond National Park that day. Luckily we had an hour’s drive, and as we arrived at the park the rain stopped for the rest of the day. Even better, we were the only ones at the park – presumably because the day had started so miserably. We literally had our own national park. How cool is that?

One of the reasons for selecting Mt Richmond Park was to correct a nagging problem. We’ve been in Oz for a year and we’ve still never seen a koala in the wild. Sure, we’d seen them (repeatedly) at the animal sanctuary, but considering all the Koala Crossing signs we see on the road, we’ve been completely shut out every time when it comes to seeing one in the wild. Twenty minutes into our hike, we finally scored: a mother and baby sitting out on a branch plain as day. And then, with the curse broken, we started spotting koalas all over the park.




After another picnic lunch (olives, bread, cheeses, sausages, almonds and a shared beer) we headed to Cape Bridgewater. Cape Bridgewater is a moonscape along high cliffs with dramatic views of the coast. The wind was whipping the waves against the cliffs – easy to imagine why so many ships floundered, lurched and crashed here.

We made another attempt to see the whales. Same result, so we headed off to the main attraction when the whales are hiding: Flagstaff Hill and the Shipwreck Museum. Flagstaff Hill itself is a recreated whaling village and “not recommended” (aka dull as dishwater) although to be fair, they are supposed to have a fantastic light show at night (designed by the same team that did the Sydney Olympics in 2000). The Shipwreck Museum was great, however. They had a small but impressive collection of artifacts from and local shipwrecks. The most famous was a delicate, perfectly preserved 3 foot porcelain peacock made byMinton in England. It was intended to be displayed in theMelbourne International Exhibition in 1880 and was the only item to survive the other wise completely destroyed Loch Ard. Remarkable to think an item this fragile survived a storm that battered a steel ship to pieces is a mystery.

We also watched a fascinating home movie about a sailing ship rounding Cape Horn. It was filmed by a young man in 1929 – in 1980 the now elderly captain who did the filming added a narration. You really appreciated how daring (audacious?) one must have been to sail on those ships. He filmed during a storm from top of the masts (17 stories up). The boat was heaving and water was crashing over the deck – the ship completely disappears in the ocean at times. We practically got vertigo from looking at the tiny deck below. Oh, and did we mention he was hanging free? There were no safety lines at the time.

After that it was back to Melbourne, but for those of you planning a visit we now have the perfect one day itinerary on the Great Ocean Road and Shipwreck Coast.

Australia by the Numbers

We just passed the one year mark living in Melbourne (August 25th to be exact). While contemplating myriad witty ways to quantify or qualify our last 12 months, we found ourselves counting the number of things we’ve done and seen, so in the end we just figured we’d let the statistics speak for themselves.

Herewith, then, some facts from our 1 year (or so) in Australia:

Number of Australian states visited: 4. NT, NSW, VIC and TAS.

Number remaining: 1. A person really needs a reason to visit Canberra.

Number of other countries visited: 2. New Zealand and Singapore.

Number of dents put on the Commodore: Marlys = 1; Matt = 1

Number of new bikes bought: 2. That’s fair…

Number of flats Matt’s bike has picked up: 2.

Number of flats Marlys’ bike has picked up: 0. Life is not always fair.

Number of miles Matt’s flown: 106,423.

Number of movies Matt has seen on an international flight: 36

Number of movies Matt has seen in an actual move theater: 2.

Number of trips Marlys has made to Healesville Animal Sanctuary: 6.

Number of trips Marlys has made to Healesville Animal Sanctuary since we became members: 0.

Number of wineries visited: about 30. Firm count is a bit hazy for some reason.

Number of footy matches: 5.

Number of cricket matches: 2

Number of visitors: 11.

Number of jars of Vegemite purchased: 5.

Number of boxes of Tim Tams eaten: 6

Number of boxes Tim Tams brought to the US: 23.

Number of times we’ve heard the following in actual conversation:

• “G’day, mate”: 0
• “Shrimp on the barbie”: 0
• “Crikey!”: 1. It was just yesterday.
• “Fair dinkum”: 1
• “Things are so cheap in Melbourne!”: a very big zero.

Number of scuba dives: 0. This is disappointing.

Number of new friends: a lot.

Number of US friends/ family missed: all.