Back in Melbourne

We’re back in the land of Oz after a long, but still too short, visit to the States. It was wonderful to catch up with friends and family – regrettably we couldn’t spend nearly as much time with everyone as we wanted and some people we didn’t get to see at all. Highlights for us were the O’Toole family reunion at Green Lake and our annual trip to Vegas (which included multiple deposits into various casinos but sadly no withdrawals). Marlys, who was on holiday, got to spend a long weekend with her college friends as well as few days in northern WI with her folks. She is not scheduled to be back in the US for a long while, so it was a much needed and much loved time with her posse.

The trip back was actually pretty relaxing. We had a nice long layover in LA and got to go out for a last ‘true’ Mexican meal with Anne. This has gotten to be a regular routine with Anne and, in fact, we think we could qualify as frequent diners at the Hacienda. The minute the plane left the ground, Matt fell asleep for 7-8 hours, and Marlys did manage a few hours of sleep as well. Qantas has individual movie screens so you’ve got your choice of nearly 30 films and lots of (Aussie and US) TV Shows. Movies viewed by Matt: The Bank Job and Cactus (Australian thriller, never to be seen in the US). Movies viewed by Marlys: Leatherheads, What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, and Iron Man. Plus magazines, newspapers, watching the flight path and the little plane showing how far you have left, a video game or two. Amazing what you can do in 15 hours.

The first couple days back meant getting back to work, getting back on the right time zone (and learning there’s not a lot of good TV at 3 AM in Australia), buying groceries, and doing all the other things you need to do after the house has been closed up for a month. After that we did have a marvelous Melbourne weekend. The weather was “spring like”, which means 60 and sunny. Matt went for a hike in one of his favorite parks (time to see the roos), we took naps each day, church at St Johns, we had a pint at one of our new favorite pubs and watched the footy, and we hit an awesome Art Deco exhibit at the NGV.

This Saturday we’re off to the mountains for dinner at a Swiss restaurant with friends (what is Swiss cuisine, anyway?) and Sunday we have tickets to the footy playoffs. St Kilda (Marlys’ team) made a late season charge and qualified. Unfortunately, they drew Geelong Cats – the defending champions who’ve only lost one game all season. But we’ll still cheer loudly for the red, white and black!

OK, one funny story. Matt was driving the other day and came upon a very sooty, muddy delivery van. Someone had written a message into the van’s abundant dust, but instead of the usual “wash me”, the cheeky wit wrote, “I wish my wife was this dirty”. Ahh, the Australian humo(u)r.

Good Morning, Miss America!

A few entries back Matt wrote about his commute from Melbourne to Minneapolis, a trip he makes quarterly for work. Many of you know how I used to travel weekly for work, mostly to sexy hot spots like Green Bay, Omaha, and St. Louis. Moving to Melbourne meant I got off the road, although I have taken the occasional business trip to Sydney (hmmm, never imaged stringing THAT phrase together).

Now a typical commute for me means walking a ½ block to the tram stop. I never look at the schedule like Matt does, I just walk to the corner and wait for one to come. Often this means I walk part of the way and then I hear the screech of the tram wheels along the track as it makes a turn right before my stop and I break into a ridiculous gallop with my briefcase banging against my leg as I “run” along the sidewalk (or footpath as it’s known here). Right before I turn onto the main street (and before my lungs burst) I slow to a walk and casually come around the corner where the other commuters are waiting. This happens most days. Because we are one of the first stops, I’m usually lucky enough to get a seat, pull out my blackberry and catch up on emails. Nearly everyone else is reading, listening to their iPod or both. I must be a Luddite but when did iPods get to be so popular? Everyone has one. The tram is a sea of silent head-bobbing to the separate rhythms. Even people, like, waaaay older than me have them. What are they listening to, I wonder? Is the old Greek woman with the moustache dressed head to toe in black a 50 Cent fan? Sometimes people play their “music” so loud I can hear it - one woman listened to the same Kelly Clarkson song THREE times IN A ROW. I looked at her and (telepathically) said, “Hey, I know what you’re doing there. I KNOW you’ve played the same song three times. And, you know, not even a GOOD song.”

The best part of my commute is getting my flat white. In Australia, they have a different name for every sort of coffee, short black (espresso), long black (regular coffee), or flat white which is I guess like a latte (coffee and hot milk) but not really a latte as lattes are also on the menu - they’re called “lattes”. After I alight from my tram I go to a little Italian restaurant for my morning coffee. The two guys behind the counter, Michael and Angelo, wear black pants, white shirts, and black aprons. Angelo is the one who makes my coffee. He didn’t acknowledge me until I had been there about, oh, 30 times or so, but now I get a smile and a “Hello signora!” from him. Michael on the other hand greets me every morning with “Good Morning, Miss America!” Some days he sings to me: “Nothing like the old songs”, he always says. Dean Martin, Tom Jones, and sometimes, if I’m lucky, an old Italian opera that I don’t understand the words to and, frankly, Michael doesn’t know the words to so it’s sort of a dah dee lala laaaaa dah sort of thing. Regardless, a great way to start my day.

Perhaps I should have said Gerard Depardieu?

Apologies for the dearth of stories, but as many of you know Matt’s been back in Minnesota for a few weeks and Marlys is only joining him this weekend. We've both been a mite busy. However, that’s not to say nothing amusing happens to us in St Paul. And after having Marlys relate a few embarrassing stories, it only seems to be appropriate to prove Matt has his fair share of moments, too.

Setting: Groveland Tap in St Paul about 8 PM. After a long day of work Matt has treated himself to a Cajun Lucy and a Summit Pilsner (two very important advantages of St Paul over Melbourne) and the waitress (approximately 19 years old and, well, a bit ditsy) has brought the check.

Waitress (twirling blond hair in finger): "Has anyone ever told you that you look like a movie star? I just can’t remember who."

Matt (blushing and increasing tip by 50%): "Why no. Perhaps you’re thinking of Brad Pitt?"

Waitress (giggling): "No, silly. I’d remember if it was someone good looking."

Cue sound of ego deflating.

Special Guest Blogger: Fran!

Today we are very, very proud to publish a post from our beloved niece, Fran. But before we do, a few prefatory remarks are necessary. One, Fran wrote this all by herself and there was no adult editing involved - certainly none by her aunt or uncle. Two, we know we can never write as well as this (and she's 11!), so don't get used to this literary standard. And three, we think it was very kind of her to omit the incident where her father was bitten in the derriere by a large pelican, so we won't mention it either.

And now, take it away Fran!!

The first words I heard when I stepped off the plane that had carried me half-way across the world was "G’day Ma’am!’ It was the stewardess who spoke those words. They were the first words of a spectacular Aussie adventure.

My experience in Melbourne in particular has been amazing. Matt and Marlys took us to many wonderful places inside and outside the city. My six-day experience has led to many new discoveries in Melbourne including a game called Australian Rules Football. It is a fast-paced game with many different rules. The team that we saw play were the Bulldogs. It was a crazy, wonderful, and brilliant game. However sitting in the stands of the arena was no match to the next place Matt and Marlys took us to, outside of Melbourne in the bush. The Mornington Peninsula is where the raging waters of the Bass Strait collide with the calm waters of Port Phillip Bay. The Bass Strait crashes with so much force that the ocean spray flies up and the sound deafens the ear. Standing atop the peninsula cliff looking into the watery depths below you, it seems that at that time the oceans’ temperamental beauty becomes clear. When you tear your eyes from the ocean and you look behind you can see a new sea; a sea of green. The ocean of green is created by the tops of a gigantic eucalyptus trees. It’s a wonderful sight.

Next we were taken to Healesville sanctuary where they have all the Australian Animals in their natural environment. We saw wallabies, dingoes, emus, koalas, wombats, Tasmanian devils, snakes (Taipan etc.), and kookaburras. Kookaburra‘s laughs I have found are definitely laughing at you not with you! We also went driving through a mountain road that led to a forest that looked astonishingly like Jurassic park! There were huge Mountain Ash trees that formed a cathedral like pattern. There were also giant ferns everywhere! I half expected a T-Rex to come bounding at our car!

We left from Melbourne to tour a little more of Australia. When we came back we went to Vick Market, a outdoor market full of Australian charm. We explored St. Kilda, which is a cute Melbourne neighborhood. Melbourne has a lot of great things to see, like the Eureka Tower and Luna Park. Melbourne is a charming city with many things that keep you happy and entertained. The famous Melbourne Tram transportation can take you all over the city and to some of the many great Melbourne attractions!

I would like to finish by thanking Matt and Marlys for their excellent hospitality! We owe them so much, I cant tell you how much a nice comfortable bed, a hot shower, and people you love to talk to, really improves your trip. They took us around Melbourne and the surrounding areas, took us to hidden wonders and showed us the best of Melbourne.

OK, one last thing. We showed Fran off to all our friends and co-workers in Melbourne, and she was an instant hit. Everyone is asking when she'll be back!

Independence Day – Gippsland Edition

Living overseas has made us feel more, not less, American. The simple fact is that’s how people refer to us: "the Americans". In the US everyone is a Yank so you’re never introduced as “my American friend". But here that's the inevitable first impression and so when you meet someone you're immediately saddled with all the baggage, good and bad, of the United States. There's plenty of good, mind you. Everyone wants to share their stories of travelling to the US. But I can't tell you how many times people have expressed surprise at my thoughts or behavior because it is, in their mind, un-American; i.e., not wasteful, loud, and ignorant of the rest of the world. And we are also expected to explain or, sometimes, defend whatever US event makes the news. We also worry more about our behavior ("Was I inadvertently loud or rude like the stereotypical American tourist?") because we know what we do will color people's impressions of USA. In short, it's a daily fact of life that we must act as unofficial, unpaid ambassadors.

With that in mind, when invited back to the farm in Yarram over the July 4th weekend we offered to cook up a real American 4th of July BBQ spread for everyone. This was immediately accepted (what host in their right mind turns down the offer of the guest doing the cooking?) and we set out to show them just how tasty an event this could be.

Motoring down the Monash Freeway to Yarram on Friday after work, traffic conditions were just like I-35 heading north out of the Twin Cities on a Friday afternoon. Slooooow. But this left us plenty of time to consider the names of the towns along the way: Koo Wee Rup, Nar Nar Goon, Bunyip, Kurumburra, Noojee, Mount Baw Baw, Won Wron (one hit, no errors, no one left on base), and Moe (pronounced “mo-EE”).

No trip to Yarram is complete without some sort of drama from Matt. You may recall on the last trip Matt was shooting at empty beer cartons with the other guys when one rifle – the one with a particular kick –gave Matt a half moon scar on his forehead as a permanent reminder of the bush. This time the drama involved the “road”. The track up to Fay’s house is long, very steep, and windy. It’s unpaved and riddled with washouts, potholes and gullies.

ANYWAY, Matt got about 1/8th the way up and immediately slid into a narrow ditch on the side of the rode. Alas, the Commodore, for all her lovely virtues, does not have 4x4 clearance and we were stuck. As Matt started to walk up the ½ mile track to the house (using his cell phone as a flashlight), the people in the house realized we were missing and drove down to find us.

No worries. Fay called the RACV (the Victorian version of AAA) and “Baggsy” rocked up about 10 minutes later in his Ute to pull us out. Which took about 5 seconds. As thanks, Fay invited him in for a can of beer, which, being the typical Aussie bloke, Baggsy accepted. And being a typical Aussie bloke, he immediately fished his stubby holder (beer can cooler) out of his jacket pocket and awaited his VB. He later let slip it was his third one of the night – rescue and beer, we understand.

On Saturday afternoon a bunch of the local young farmers showed up in their 4x4s and Matt was invited out for a ride. Marlys did not see him depart and so was unaware of one important feature of the ride: it did not involve sitting in the cab of the 4x4, but standing in the bed of the pickup and holding onto the roll bar. Don’t worry, he received top notch safety instructions: “If it starts to roll, jump away from the roll. And go quick because if you’re slow everyone else will use you for leverage.” One has never lived until they’ve driven along washed out fire roads at 40 mph on the back of a pick up. The scenery was gorgeous (Matt saw a lyre bird, which is very rare) and although the Ute never rolled (some people seemed disappointed) Matt was sufficiently terrified to deem it a once in a lifetime experience.

Marlys (let’s be honest, she’s the chef and party planner) put on a fantastic BBQ. There were frankfurters, baked beans, potato salad with eggs, cole slaw, and 3-bean salad (note to self: cabbage, 2 bean dishes, eggs, and lots of pork products = an aromatic ride home). And in true O’Toole family tradition, our friend Dom ensured there was an American flag dessert. Afterward we all sat around a bonfire, lit sparklers and stayed up late talking and looking at the stars. This far out in the bush the constellations are unrecognizable because there are so many stars! The 4th couldn’t have been more perfect.

Crimson Rosellas. There were a dozen that hung around the house.

Dom's Flag Cupcakes

Where the Bloody Hell Have you Been?®

You may have noticed our last few posts were written by other people, and I suppose you have been wondering what we've been up to the past couple months. So we took a squiz at our diaries (Eek! ‘Strine! Here’s the American translation: “we took a look at our calendars”) and here, in a nutshell, is what we’ve been doing.

Work. Lots of it.

A trip. In May we were supposed to spend 5 days on the tropical island of New Caledonia. However, because of the French civil service we spent 4 days at Ayer’s Rock in the red center of Australia. There’s more to this story (and pictures) so we’ll put up a longer post when we get the chance.

More work. Lots more.

Visitors. Marg, Monique, Pat, John and Fran all came to stay. We got to show off our new city and more importantly see a few faces we’ve missed. Rather than tell you how great it was, we’ll let them do it in their own words: there is a link to Monique’s trip in the previous post and Fran is going to give us some material when she returns to the States. The lucky girl is in New Zealand right now.

Still more work. Still lots of it.

That's what's been going on. I know - boring. So what’s up next for us? Well, this weekend we are heading back to Lucy & Fay’s farm in Gippsland (described at "Australia Day"). Since we went there for Australia Day, it only seems right we go back for the Fourth of July. We are putting on a real American BBQ Saturday to show these Aussies how to celebrate your nation’s founding.

Speaking of Gippsland (and to give you a little flavor of the region), the second biggest Australian political news in the last few weeks is their by-election. The old MP suddenly quit and the election was seen as a referendum on the current Labor government. Labor got creamed, but that’s not necessarily any indication of the national mood. The reason they lost (and here’s the real insight into Gippsland) is the Labor government wants to close a post office in Tarralgon, the biggest town. That‘s how rural Gippsland is – closing a post office will lose you an election.

So if that's the number two political story, what’s number one? Easy –it’s “Iguanagate”. Yes, American cultural imperialism has reached the point where others now mimic the annoying habit of adding “-gate” to every political scandal. Anyhow, the short story is a Labor MP got drunk at a bar (Iguana Joe's) and was tossed out. On her way out, she threatened to have their liquor license revoked and said such brilliant things as “do you know who I am? I'll make you regret this!”. Once the story broke, she should have just apologized and said “I was drunk and stupid”. The story would have died immediately - she’s a politician so such behavior is expected. But instead she bullied her staff and others to change sworn statements about what happened that night. And when that got out, she started looking at criminal charges akin to suborning perjury. Uh oh. It doesn’t help that in a movie she’d be played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

So that’s what’s going on in the sunburnt country. Here’s some pictures so you know we’re not just typing this from our basement in St Paul:

Us at Ayer's Rock
Ayer's Rock at Sunrise
A Wild Camel We Saw at the Olgas

It's Winter Here!

Melbourne Review

Want to know what a trip to Melbourne is like? Check out the review in this blog: Marvelous Melbourne

Great story MQ!