Alian Travels

Signs

2009-05-01T15:49:00.006+10:00

One of our favorite pastimes driving the roads of Victoria is seeing various road signs that are truly foreign to the US. A large proportion are animal crossing signs e.g., kangaroo, echidna, wombat, and koala. Some are your warning or danger signs like no swimming – crocodiles / sharks.

Watch for Kangaroos

Koala Crossing

Check under your car for Penguins (from Philip Island)

Duh

Other signs fall under curious naming conventions for businesses such as “Dental Spa” (really? A spa for your mouth?) or, one of Marlys’ personal favorites, “Aussie Indian Trendy Cuisine” Restaurant (friends and family that have visited will likely recall us pointing this place out), We’ve never eaten at the Aussie Indian Trendy Cuisine restaurant but we can certainly understand a food craving when having plain old Indian or merely Trendy Aussie food will NOT satisfy!

Last year the highways were dotted with massive, “DOB IN A HOON” signs. To “dob in” means to inform or tell on. In Australia a “dobber” (also known as a “dibby dobber”) is a tattle-tale. Hoon is a shortened version of hooligan. So the sign urging motorists to ‘dob in a hoon’ translates to, “if you see a reckless drivers, please call police!”

http://www.police.vic.gov.au/content.asp?Document_ID=15478

This latest sign was a from our trip to Queensland. It speaks for itself...unless of course you have no idea what a bandicoot is....

Aussie Celebrity Sightings

2009-04-17T17:21:00.000+10:00

We’ve had a few brushes with famous Aussies: John Howard (whilst still Prime Minister) at the airport, various footballers dining out at trendy Melbourne bistros, friends who live down the street from Geoffrey Rush, and St. Kilda - the funky suburb just down the road- is filled with up and coming musicians, artists, and actors. We also know a former PDIer who’s getting regular theatre work and is breaking into television – both commercials and TV series like “City Homicide”. A missed celebrity sighting was at Finger Pier in Sydney we were witness to a drunken bloke yelling up at Russell Crowe’s schmick (slang for extravagant/ luxurious) apartment, “Go back to NZ, ya kiwi!!”

Last night was the pinnacle of celeb sightings. Bill Hunter was sinking a pot at “our local” (Aussie for your neighborhood pub) Gunn Island – aka The Gunn. Who is Bill Hunter? You’ve probably never heard his name but you’d immediately know him if you see him. He’s Australia’s version of JT Walsh – the ubiquitous supporting cast member you always see but don’t always recall his name. Bill Hunter was in Gallipoli with Mel Gibson, played Muriel’s father in Muriel’s Wedding, Bob in Priscilla, Queen of the Desert, and the voice of the dentist in Finding Nemo. He was also in Baz Lurhman’s Australia. But Bill was happy having a beer at the local pub just like any other regular bloke.

The Aussies are very proud of their countrymen and women who’ve made it big in Hollywood. After a while, it seems like every star is Australian. Besides Academy Award winners Rush and Crowe, there are Cate Blanchett, Nicole Kidman, Naomi Watts, Keith Urban, Rachael Griffiths, Toni Collette, Eric Bana, Anthony LaPaglia, Melissa George (just joined Grey’s Anatomy), Hugh Jackman, Kylie Minogue, Bryan Brown, the Veronicas, Guy Pearce, George Lazenby (the least famous James Bond), Paul Hogan (Crocodile Dundee), Judy Davis, Gemma Ward, Dame Edna, the BeeGees, and, of course, Australia’s sweetheart, Olivia Newton-John. There is also the slightly decomposed Heath Ledger and Steve Irwin and the long departed Errol Flynn. Seems the Aussies punch above their weight when it comes to celebrities.

Why Canberra?

2009-03-25T18:15:00.007+11:00

When we decided to go to Canberra, ACT (Australia Capital Territory – akin to the "DC" in Washington DC) people were perplexed. "You’re going to Canberra? Why Canberra? Do you love roundabouts?" While we wish we had a sexy answer like, "we’re respective ambassador candidates for Finland and Ireland", the truth is we’re on a mission to visit all 8 Australian states. 8 for 8, baby. Tick the box, we’ve been to ‘em all! Wooohooo! (Yes, we do realize how sad this makes us look…..)

As in the US, in Australia there’s a healthy competition between states. Warring New South Wales and Victoria are like typical siblings. Fighting and trying to best each other. There’s a particularly spirited rivalry between the two major cities of Melbourne and Sydney. Sydneysiders smirk when you mention you’re from Melbourne and Melbournians offer a malevolent sneer when anyone mentions the ‘evil city’ Sydney. Continuing along the family theme, if VIC and NSW are siblings then Queensland is the dumb blonde cousin - everyone rolls their eyes if some banana bender from Brisbane tries to sound intelligent. As for Tasmania, the small island state to the south, they are the ‘hicks’ - inbred and married to their first cousin. Am sure you get the picture so we won't even go into the sandgropers from WA or the troppo buffoons from NT.

Back to Canberra. The ACT is almost entirely made up of Canberra, the nation’s capital. Canberra was selected as the capital because Sydney and Melbourne both wanted the honor. More importantly, each city didn’t want the other one to end up as capital, so it was finally agreed (in 1901) that neither Sydney or Melbourne would be the Seat of Government of the Commonwealth. Furthermore, Melbourne insisted the capital had to be at least one hundred miles from Sydney. So, from 1902 to 1908 over 40 districts were proposed as possible capitals. The number was whittled down to 23 and then to 7 and, based on multiple criteria (sufficient water supply, climate, etc), Canberra was eventually chosen. Once the location was set, the next step was to design the capital city. Australia ran an international competition to select a city designer. Walter Burley Griffin, a landscape architect – and Yank from Chicago and disciple of Frank Lloyd Wright - won.

Burley Griffin's plan was to leverage the natural landform, waterways, and hilly undulations to create a city. A taxi driver told us Burley Griffin’s view was the government should serve the people so the civic buildings shouldn’t be “above” the eye level (ie on top of a hill like many castles) but at eye level – a government to serve its people and peers. In addition, Burley Griffin incorporated many Usonian principles dear to Frank Lloyd Wright in his designs. Central to his plan was a large artificial lake and a 'parliamentary triangle' for the most important national buildings. The surrounding city would be circular and radial in shape, which would fit the general topography of Canberra. We’re now up to 1911 and it wasn’t until 1913 when the first foundation stone was actually laid. Soon after WWI broke out – lack of funding slowed the city’s progress. Frustrated by many delays, Burley Griffin left Canberra in 1920 - 7 years before the Parliament building was completed. The Great Depression brought about more financial constraints and so it wasn’t until the 40’s and 50’s when national buildings – including a magnificent War Memorial - were finished.

Canberra today has the huge lake - Lake Burley Griffin - at its heart and huge circular streets (the city looks like crop circles from the air) and a long wide boulevard – on one end is the War Memorial – on the other the new Parliament House with the Old Parliament building about mid-way between.

The War Memorial is sensational. A fantastic tribute to the diggers and all of Australia’s armed forces. They have tutorials on the wars, exhibits, relief maps, pictures, recordings, video, and plenty of docents offering assistance. The memorial closes each day with a moment of silence and lone trumpeter playing the Last Post. Very powerful and incredibly moving.

Wall of names - fallen soldiers at War Memorial

Boulevard between War Memorial and Parliament

War Memorial

Old Parliament House was the home of the Federal Parliament starting in 1927. From the beginning Old Parliament was to be the “temporary” home of government - albeit for 50 years - and would house approximately 300 politicians and staff. By the time the new Parliament was completed in 1988 the Old Parliament was crammed with 3,000 staffers.

A quick word about Aussie politicians. Being a commonwealth country, Australian politics have similar parliamentary traditions as the UK. Politicians will boo, hiss, harrumph and engage in colourful name-calling during opponents speeches. We have your typical gamut of politicians – glib and clever; the ignoble, your milquetoast variety, the idiots. One candidate from the Liberal party (conservative) recently announced he could have won the election that John Howard lost in a land slide… if only he had listened to his wife’s advice to run. One perpetual candidate campaigning in Queensland just had nude pictures of her splashed over the TV, newspapers, and Internet. Her spokesperson, in usual unruffled Aussie fashion said, “She doesn’t care.” That is, she didn’t care until she realised the pictures were not of her after all. A debate ensued and she got a formal retraction. Of course considering her initial response we all know she did indeed – at some point - pose for nude pictures.

New Parliament – the interior is very much a celebration of all things Aussie. A gorgeous and impressive building that uses various Australian timbers and numerous displays of Australian art and craftwork. The color scheme also reflects the land of Oz - The House of Representatives is the color of eucalyptus; the Senate color resembles the red earth.

We don’t think we’ll ever work for the Canberra tourist bureau but it was worthy of a visit and, to say we’ve got 8 for 8 Aussie states, is the bonus.

Absolutely Positively Wellington

2009-02-26T17:11:00.010+11:00

We celebrated Matt’s 40th birthday (Feb 13) in the southernmost capital in the world: Wellington, New Zealand. Wellington is a stunning harbor city surrounded by rolling hills and boasts a sufficiently vague tourism slogan… “Absolutely Positively Wellington”.

If Melbourne is like Minneapolis with its straight well-planned gridded streets, than Wellington is a sister to St Paul, with windy streets and twisting alleys that start and stop with no rhyme or reason. (Sorry, Mr. Ventura, I don’t know how many drunken Irishmen were on the city works payroll in the mid-1860s). St. Paul city “planning” aside, Wellington reminded us of Seattle – it has a similar climate and scenery, a diverse popluation, and a cool, young, urban vibe.

The birthday boy (did I mention he’s now FORTY??) found lots to do. First stop - satisfy dorky inner selves by visiting various Lord of the Rings film locations. This includes screeching to a halt in order to read all LOTR sign posts, exploring "Rivendell", and engaging in embarrassing behavior such as dodging traffic to nonchalantly inspect a small, empty gravel pit that once served as Helms Deep. Positively nerd-tastic!!!

After the dry, scorching heat of Melbourne we loved the mild sunny weather - perfect for exploring the surrounding area. We spent one day in Martinborough wine country (not to be confused with Marlborough which is on the South Island) and a day on the Kapiti Coast hiking along the Tasman Sea.

As the capital, Wellington has some of the best museums in the country. We visited the Wellington City Museum and Te Papa National Museum. The latter is their version of DC’s Smithsonian and has a fantastic permanent collection of New Zealand’s cultural and natural history, including exhibits on earth, plants, earthquakes, oceans, art, birds, marine life, the railway, immigrants, an extensive Maori and Tongan exhibit, and, currently, a temporary exhibit on Monet and the Impressionists. Whew! The pièce de résistance is the world’s only complete colossal squid. This huge mollusc was found and frozen in Antarctica and brought to Te Papa scientists in 2003 to be defrosted and examined (the catching, defrosting, examining of the world's largest invertebrate was captured on film by The Discovery Channel if you want to see/learn more.). How big is colossal, you ask? To give you an idea, its eyes are the size of soccer balls.

Wellington got high marks when it came to feeding and quenching our gastro - oenophile tendencies. With the kiwi dollar at near record lows (Hurray, global financial crisis!), we ate like kings. Our first night we lucked out and got a table at the eternally popular Matterhorn Restaurant (opened in the early 1960’s but won NZ’s top restaurant again in 2008). At the Matterhorn (of all names) we feasted on tuna sashimi, crispy veal sweetbreads, Wairarapa grouper, and Hawkes Bay lamb. We also went to the White House (not to be confused with Obama’s new digs) for carpaccio of octopus (replete with Japanese pickles, kelp sorbet and wasabi jelly), salt and pepper calamari, steak, and salmon. All washed down with crisp Sauvignon Blancs and perfumed Pinot Noirs.

Wellington gets a big thumbs up. Oh. And Matt is 40.

Absolutely positively 40.

The Fires

2009-02-09T18:54:00.005+11:00

Marlys and I were going to put out a typically cheeky blog post about the stinking hot weather we’ve been having here in Melbourne, but events in the interim have taken a decidedly more somber turn. If you’ve seen the news in the last 48 hours, you undoubtedly know there have been devastating bushfires across Victoria, with most around Melbourne. The multiple fires have left well over 800 square miles of damage to property and forests. Even worse, over a hundred, and probably hundreds, of people have burned to death trying to escape after little or no warning. It is absolutely, positively horrifying.

We haven’t had appreciable rain for months, and in the past few weeks the temperatures have been brutally hot, with the highs over 110 F several times. Matt went hiking a week ago and we the “grass” was so dry and burnt out it actually crackled when you walked on it. By last Wednesday the forecast said Saturday would be a scorcher with high sustained winds. That, coupled with the tinderbox drought conditions, means high bushfire probability. The TV was full of advisories that people should have their fire plan ready and be prepared to evacuate their homes at an instant. They said it would be the worst bushfire conditions ever – even worse than those for the famous Ash Wednesday fires of 30+ years ago.

Saturday came and the heat was even worse than predicted – 117F, a new all-time record for Melbourne. And it was hotter in the bush. We planned our day to avoid the heat – a trip to the art museum (air conditioned to protect the paintings) followed by a movie (Slumdog Millionaire) in an air conditioned theater. But the time spent outside was like beign in a convection oven, with blasts of heat swirling around. There was no cool breeze.

When we left the art museum about 4pm the sky was an eerie gray. You could see a few white clouds against the dull ashen backdrop but not a speck of blue. We immediately figured there were fires in the area and dense smoke was to blame.

The news Saturday night talked about bushfires everywhere. Numbers jumped from 11 to 26 to over 35 but it’s only been in the last 24 hours that the real horror of what happened, and what is happening, became apparent. All those who have died, many missing, and whole towns destroyed. And the stories: of roads filled with choking smoke. Of people desperate to get back to the house to find a family pet. Farmers going to their fields and euthanizing their cattle and sheep to put them out of their misery. Pictures of poor half burnt kangaroos frantically bouncing to escape surrounding fires.

If you look at our “Places We’ve Been” list along the right hand side of this blog, you’ll see “Marysville” listed. It was one of the first day trips we ever made, and we’ve brought a few visitors up there as well – to see the waterfalls and mountain ashes and eat at the bakery. It had the best Scottish shortbread.

We say “had” because Marysville is gone. Burned off the face of the map. As of today 12 people from Marysville are dead and they figure they’ll find more bodies as they go through the houses and cars left smoldering on the sides of the road. To have this lovely town full of the nicest people expunged from the face of the earth is something we’re still trying to get our heads around. It breaks our heart. And it’s just one of the places devastated. Nearly all the "VIC" places listed to the right have had fires.

We do not know anyone who’s lost life or property personally. Our friends and their families are all currently safe, even the ones who live deeper in the bush. We are very worried about Fay and the farm near Yarram (where Matt suffered his Australia Day injury), but as of today she’s OK. She’s in a spot where the forests behind her house haven’t burned in a long time – and that means lots of deadfall kindling. The fires have come within a half kilometer of her place, she lost power, the roads closed, and she had the car packed and ready to go. But as of now the fires haven’t come closer. We’re keeping up the prayers.

Watching the news and talking to our friends is hard. The stories are so horrific - finding charred bodies of families in cars, families split by the fire and don’t know if the others made it out, stories of last phone calls saying good bye to children or parents from homes about to be burned. It’s gut wrenching. Both the premier (governor) and the Prime Minister have visibly broken down on TV. The reporters have also struggled to keep their composure.

And it gets worse. This is not a natural disaster. Many, if not all, of the fires were set by humans. That makes this mass murder and to consider the selfishness and evil that would lead someone to set one of these fires is something we don’t want to dwell on.

If you want to help, the Australian Red Cross is taking donations for money that will go directly to the bushfire victims. You can donate online at: https://www.redcross.org.au/Donations/onlineDonations.asp. (I’m sure the bankers will take their cut in foreign exchange fees and the like, but every little bit helps.) We’re not ones who typically push donations to a cause – but now this is a good time to start. Today there is a toiletries collection in the office, because so many of the fire refugees (and there are thousands) don't even have toothpaste.

The running joke around our office is that we've seen more of Victoria than the locals, and it may be true. But this means the places on the fire maps are not just names - we can see them, we have memories of them, we know them a little. These are real places with real people that are now gone.

Victoria and Minnesota are almost identical in size and population. While Minnesota is our home state, Victoria is our chosen state. Today we are so sad for our beautiful state, our adopted country, and our grieving countrymen.

Humor Before Pride

2009-01-30T12:08:00.004+11:00

Below is an actual e-mail Matt sent to our Melbourne co-workers. Because Marlys has already been surreptitiously leaking it to various people, the Aliantravels editorial board decided to publish it in its entirety and let everyone on earth know about how Matt spent Wednesday morning. It needs no further introduction. Enjoy.

____________________

From: O'Toole, Matt
Sent: Wednesday, January 28, 2009 8:55 AM
To: All Melbourne
Subject: Important Safety Notice

Dear Fellow Melbourne Office Teammembers,

As I was rushing to get a cuppa before my 7 AM conference call in which I was presenting, I left my key card in my office and so thought I'd just pop into the unisex toilet next to the kitchen. I stepped in, accomplished my business, and when I turned to leave I noticed a funny thing: the handle for the door was missing. "How strange" was my first thought. "How the heck am I going to get out of here?" was my second. I looked around for the handle or other method of releasing the door, but as a soggy towel is really only useful for preventing smoke from entering a room during a fire, there was no means of release at hand. I settled down to wait for one of my co-workers to arrive for their first cup of tea.

As the hours passed many thoughts went though my mind, but in the spirit of Jeremy Bentham I tried to use my time of incarceration for self improvement. I counted the tiles on the ceiling (16. And by the way, where did the cover for the light fixture go?). I went through the alphabet naming Victorian country towns - Ararat, Bunyip, Colac, Dandenong ("Wait", I thought. "Does Dandenong count as “country”? It's so close to Melbourne."). I tried to come up with less embarrassing explanation for my absence from the conference call - "I was locked in a toilet" does not inspire confidence or respect for your judgment and common sense. And I plotted slow, sweet revenge on whoever took the handle and didn't let people know the door to the toilet is buggered.

Eventually Barb arrived and she, Maria and I worked to get the door opened. In the spirit of the prison leitmotif, they passed me food and drink though the slot at the bottom of the door during this period. Eventually we got it open and I was paroled to breathe the sweet air of freedom again. Or at least air untainted by Oust and other cleaning supplies.

Why am I sharing my embarrassing and unhappy morning with you? It's to impart a few valuable lessons:

1. The door to the toilet by the kitchen is broken. Do not use that toilet unless you are prepared to prop the door open.
2. If in the future you learn of a dangerous or confinement-causing condition at the office, please inform your fellow workers. An e-mail may be a good idea. And might I also suggest a note on the door?
3. Henceforth, all my children will be named Barb and Maria. Even the boys.
4. When going to the toilet, always bring food and a phone. You just never know.

Kind regards,

Matt

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

2009-01-23T14:49:00.008+11:00

Happy New Year! We are back from a fantastic two weeks exploring New Zealand’s South Island. Since there was way too much to put into one blog posting, here are the highlights:

Queen Charlotte Sound

Best Breakfast: We stayed at B&Bs most days, so had our share of delicious breakfasts (organic eggs, homemade bread dripping with New Zealand’s Manuka honey, fresh squeezed juice, great coffee, etc.). Matt, who is never one for chit-chat with strangers first thing in the AM, lists his favorite breakfast as the one provided by the hotel in Christchurch. None. He stopped at Starbucks for a nice big cup of coffee after his run and enjoyed it in the quietude of our room.

Best Hike: Routeburn Track. New Zealand is renowned for its tracks and we spent an hour or two one some almost very day. Routeburn is one of the most famous tracks and we spent a morning walking part of it – crossing rope bridges, raging mountain rivers, seeing waterfalls and gorges and other alpine scenery.

Best Hike Deux: Matt climbed Ben Lomond, a mountain above Queenstown. It is a mile high and involved crossing multiple narrow ridges to reach the apex (where it drops precipitously on both sides). Despite the rigorous climb, he was rewarded with spectacular views of the Southern Alps with Lake Wakatipu shimmering below. At the same time Marlys was enjoying a spectacular view of the inside of her eyelids as she enjoyed a 1.5 hour massage followed by a pedicure.
Best NZ beer: Steinlager for Marlys and Speight’s for Matt. We went on the Speight’s brewery tour in Dunedin (east coast). In the tasting room, Marlys taught everyone the Finnish toast, “Kiipis” which (essentially) means, “cheers!”. The Aussie tourists in the group LOVED this toast because they thought it sounded like “get pissed!”

Speight's Brewery

Best Idiom: “Nerd-tastic”. Matt spent NZ$25 on a guidebook specializing in Lord of the Rings film locations. He thought he was so cool until we happened to see this particular book described in Lonely Planet as the “nerdtastic” book for the type of groupies who live in their parents’ basement and spend a lot of time pretending to be a wizard in an online game. Of course, that’s not to say we still didn’t visit every location we could. We would stop at the site, look at the vista, sigh, turn to each other and say “It certainly is nerdtastic, isn’t it?”

Idiom Runner Up: In New Zealand hiking is called “tramping”. You can imagine the witticisms that engendered over the course of the trip.

Best Seafood (aka Biggest Surprise of the trip): we could also call this category oddest restaurant – Stumper’s. Stumper’s was bar/restaurant in the seaside town called Hokitika where we spend one night (by the way the hotel wins the “worst room” award because the room smelled like “damp mop ala’ creepy basement”). Hokitika, despite the promising location of right on the Tasman Sea, isn’t much of a town and we explored the two main streets within 5 minutes (on foot). Stumper’s was conveniently located across the street from our odiferous hotel; it was one of the few open places (it was New Year’s Day), and by all looks it was hopping with business. We wove our way through a bunch of drunk, scruffy locals lounging outside and ordered the blue cod. As we waited for dinner, we were entertained by one of the locals arguing with his girlfriend, then duking it out with friends about not wanting to get in the car and leave (picture this – girlfriend in back seat, boyfriend standing in open car door - girlfriend tugging boyfriend’s jeans at the waist, friends standing next to guy trying to corral and push him into the back seat). Due to his condition, bobbing and weaving was not a problem. This was eventually resolved when the police showed up and put him in their car for a ride. The surprise? The blue cod was absolutely fantastic – fresh, perfectly prepared, and in two weeks of eating seafood for dinner (every night but one), Matt pronounced it the best of the lot.

Marlborough Wine Country

A Very Aussie Christmas

2008-12-26T11:28:00.005+11:00

We had a couple sweltering days last week but on for the 24th and 25th the weather was perfect. We worked Christmas Eve morning and then had a potluck brunch - complete with Kris Kringle and champagne - with colleagues. Then we went to Christmas mass at the oldest Catholic church in Melbourne, St. Francis, which has an unusual and beautiful cedar ceiling. Our first antipodal Christmas was spent with our friends the Alessios at their beach house on the Mornington Peninsula. Christmas eve was a traditional Aussie barbeque with snags (sausages), lamb roast, and some summer salads. Christmas morning we took a walk along the beach where the winds were calm and the sea a clear blue/ green. We walked to the end of Rye Pier (John, Frani, Nita, you’ve all been to this pier) where we spotted a massive stingray and the local seal that regularly suns itself on the pier.

Christmas day was with the extended Alessio clan – 26 in all – feasting on the northern traditional Christmas feast if turkey, pork, and ham, roast potatoes, green beans, etc. The meal was capped with traditional plum pudding – a secret Alessio family recipe. It’s a dark dense boozy collection of stewed fruit, nuts, brandy and cake. Old coins are buried within the pudding, and one coin, a sterling silver florin is good luck. The finder gets to keep the coin and according to tradition will receive a year of good fortune. While neither of us received the buried treasure, we savored the dessert. We returned to Melbourne that evening so we can go to the cricket on the 26th. But given the sun hadn’t set at 9 PM, we went for a ride along the beach where all the families were winding up their family events. As for the cricket today, the Boxing Day Test is one of the most famous matches known for hot sun and an “enthusiastic” crowd. We’ve slapped on the sunscreen and are looking forward to a slow, relaxing day. Tomorrow we head to New Zealand for two weeks so you won’t see an update to the blog until mid-January.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Weekend Weather Comparison

2008-12-19T17:52:00.005+11:00

As I sat here working with one eye on the cricket on TV (Australia is batting and leads South Africa in the second innings of the first test by 203 runs, in case you're wondering) I got a St Paul weekend weather report: snow, poor roads, high temps in the teens.

Weather in Melbourne this weekend - sunny and 70s. And now that my work is done, we're going to the pub and enjoy a cold beer in the sun.

But I'd still prefer a white Christmas in MN.

A Day of Thanks

2008-12-18T14:43:00.008+11:00

Thanksgiving and all that goes with it - eating turkey, pumpkin pie, and mounds of mashed potatoes - is a uniquely American phenomena (although the Canadians have a similarly named holiday). With Matt in the US for the Thanksgiving and Melbourne embarking on summer – it didn’t really ‘feel’ like Thanksgiving so I thought I’d just let this American holiday slide on by. My dear Aussie friends, Dominique, Maria, and Jen had another idea altogether.

For weeks these three had been conspiring WITH MY MOTHER to put on a surprise, honest-to-goodness Aukee Thanksgiving dinner of turkey with all the trimmings. Family recipes like yams with pecans and marshmallows and rutabaga casserole made their way to a Melbourne table thanks to email, much time to converting family recipes from imperial measurements to metric, and driving to the lone USA store that sells canned pumpkin (another Aussie slang term for you – “in the middle of nowhere” is referred to as “woop woop”).

The clever ruse was an invite to Jen’s for pizza so I wouldn’t have to spend Thanksgiving alone. Sounds good, I thought, all this alone time is torture for my extroversion.

6pm on Thanksgiving night I walked into Jen’s house and was greeted by the giddy looking trio. First they brought me to the dining room, which had a beautiful tablecloth laid with Jen’s finest china, wineglasses, and full silverware. There were hand-made Thanksgiving decorations on the table - felt turkeys. Wow! What a beautiful table, I said, so much trouble to go to for a pizza dinner. Well, not quite pizza. They brought me into the kitchen, opened the oven door to produce a turkey and multiple covered dishes of family favorites. I was (in another apt used Aussie term) gobsmacked. "Happy Thanksgiving!!!" they chimed.

Eight of us feasted on a delicious meal. It will always be one of my most cherished Thanksgiving memories. One that closed with a full stomach and a very full heart.

Marlys Dom Maria Jen

Happy Thanksgiving

2008-11-26T17:35:00.003+11:00

Wishing you all a wonderful Thanksgiving from warm and sunny Melbourne!!

Australian Political Primer

2008-11-05T11:39:00.004+11:00

Because today is Election Day in the US we thought we’d give you a quick glimpse into Australia politics/ election process.

An overview: Australia is a constitutional monarchy (Queen Elizabeth II) and a parliamentary democracy.

Australian Constitution: 1901, established a federal system of government where powers are distributed between national and state levels of government.

Head of Government: Australia has a Prime Minister, Kevin Rudd. Who reminds us of Martin from"The Simpsons". They even look a bit alike.

The legislature: Commonwealth Parliament. The Parliament is comprised of the Queen, the Senate, and the House of Representatives. The Queen is represented by the Governor-General, who in practice exercises little or no power over the Parliament. The GG serves “at the Queen’s pleasure” without a specified term (although it’s usually 5 years). This past September, for the first time ever, the queen appointed a female GG, Her Excellency Ms Quentin Bryce.

Political Parties: Australia has a number of recognized parties – Labour, Liberal, National, Democrats, Greens, and One Nation. While you’ve got your fringe parties – i.e., One Nation which runs a populist, anti-immigration platform - it is basically a two-party system. The two main ones are:
Labour party (the party of the left)
Liberal party (which…just to make it confusing to US expats…is the conservative party)

Voting: Voting is compulsory in Australia. Every Australian citizen (18 years or older) is legally compelled to vote. If you do not vote and do not have a valid and sufficient reason for failing to vote, a penalty is imposed. I suspect there’s a lot of money and time saved due to no “get out” or “rock the” vote campaigns.

Finally: One of the national TV stations ran an election poll asking Australians which candidate they would vote for in the US election. The result?
Obama 83%
McCain 17%

10 things we learned on our trip to New Caledonia

2008-10-31T14:38:00.006+11:00

1. Air Calin (the national airline) offers free liquor on their flights. It’s only a 2.5 hour flight from Sydney to the New Caledonia capital of Noumea, but, in addition to a nice meal, they give you an appertif, wine for the meal, and then the flight attendants walk around with a brandy bottle. Très French. Most certainly not très avion américain!

2. It rains during the dry season. October is the driest month of the year and prized for its sunny weather. But we arrived in a torrential downpour - we couldn’t see 100 yards in front of us – and it remained cloudy with occasional rain the entire time we were there. The sun only broke through on our last day. But we’ll say this for New Caledonia – it was a fantastic trip and never once did it feel like the weather got in the way of a good time.

3. French Colonialism has its upsides. Here we were on a tropical island and every morning we could have wonderful coffee, breads, perfect buttery croissants. All our dinners were amazing – especially a Vietnamese meal prepared by a family that left Vietnam with the French in the 50s. Best of all, because it’s a French dependency plenty of vin rouge and vin blanc is available and duty free from the motherland.

4. The natives call it Kanakyland of the Kanaks. OK, technically we learned that from an informational placard in the botanical gardens in Melbourne, but it was so odd we had to get the word out.

5. Theft is apparently not a concern. When we got to our hotel, we locked our “valuables” (i.e, about A$50 and our blessedly inoperable blackberries) in the room safe and set our secret code. When we tried to open it the next day it wouldn’t budge. After numerous tries, we called the front desk.

Marlys: “Our code won’t work and we can’t open our safe.”
Pleasant French-accented receptionist: “Just to enter 0000.”
Marlys: “Will that work?”
Receptionist: “All ze safes in ze ‘otel open to 0000. Voila!”
Marlys: “Ahhh. The old ‘un-safe’ safe!”
Receptionist: “Pardonnez-moi?”

6. Over 1 million US servicemen came through during WWII. We learned this at the small but fascinating Maritime Museum in Noumea. Because it was close to Australia but sufficiently far from Japanese conquests, New Caledonia became a massive staging area for the Pacific War and the country enjoyed an economic renaissance on the back of Uncle Sam's taxpayers. The legacy is a tremendous amount of good will for Americans and interesting place names. For instance, there is a suburb of Noumea called “Motor Pool”.

7. It’s surrounded by the world’s 2nd largest reef, making it the largest lagoon in the world. This means superb diving: we spent a day checking out the reef life. Lots of sharks, turtles, barracuda, and plenty of colorful fish.

8. It’s very multi-cultural. The dive company owner/operators were French (him) and Japanese (her). He was a former French Foreign Legionnaire. They have two kids: he talks to them in French, she in Japanese, and they talk to each other in English.

9. Obama mania is a global phenomena. They get few American tourists (mainly French, Australian and Japanese) and we never heard an American accent while we were there. When people learned we were Yanks they immediately wanted to tell us how much they hoped Obama would be elected and ask us if it was true, really true, that such a wonderful thing could happen. “He’s a new Kennedy” they’d say – presumably meaning the Camelot Kennedy, not the Chappaquiddick one.

10. We want to go back.

Halloween Nicht

2008-10-22T15:24:00.005+11:00

One of our blog readers has asked: What do Australians do for Halloween? (And you thought we ignored all those comments…). Despite the best efforts of Cadbury and Mars, the Australians do not celebrate Halloween. They know it exists and understand the basic concept, and you may find the odd decoration or costume in a store, but for the most part they think it is more than slightly strange to have a holiday where people arrive at your house unannounced, demand gifts, and commit criminal mischief if you refuse to give them anything.

Anticipating the usual follow up question, no, they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving either. But their opinion of Thanksgiving is much different. They find it downright admirable that Americans have a holiday where they stop their overworked lives, sit down with family, and give thanks for all the blessings they enjoy. Of course, we’ve never let slip the dirty little secret that after the giving of thanks Americans proceed to indulge in sloth and gluttony on such a scale that no one goes to work the next day.

I think the State Department could get a lot of positive press for the US by playing up our celebration of Thanksgiving. I mean, it’s such a great idea that the Canadians copied us and have their own Thanksgiving day - and their society’s sole raison d’etre is to be the anti-America. Maybe they justify it by loudly pointing out it’s in October.

Of course, without Halloween and Thanksgiving, Americans would just be looking forward to Christmas. Wonder what that would be like? Let me tell you – it ain’t all that great. The picture below was taken in early October in the local Big W (sort of a Walmart) and it only captures a small portion of a massive section.

Yes, the wrapping paper, bows, Santa hats, fake trees, and oodles of special Christmas presents (or “Chrissy prezzies” as they say) have been on the shelves for weeks now. A full two months before the big day! Can anyone say over-commercialism of Christmas? Bah humbug.

Editors’ note: this will be our last entry for a little while because tomorrow we make our second attempt to visit New Caledonia. During the first attempt we ended up at Ayer’s Rock instead (see a map to fully appreciate the magnitude of this detour) but we hope second time’s a charm. South Pacific– here we come!

Happy Birthday, Sydney Opera House!

2008-10-20T17:14:00.002+11:00

Today when I made my first Google query (in Oz you’re directed to http://www.google.com.au/) – the familiar sails of the Sydney Opera House were embedded into the Google logo. This amazing landmark is 35 years old today.

It is stunning - situated on Sydney Harbour at the end of Bennelong Point. From the Opera House you can see the Sydney skyline (the CBD) and the iconic Sydney Harbour Bridge (which Matt has climbed…twice!). The Sydney Opera House is considered one of the wonders of the modern world and was named as a UNESCO world heritage site last year.

The opera house was designed by Jørn Utzon (Danish) and work started in 1958. Queen Elizabeth II officially opened the Sydney Opera House on October 20, 1973.

We've seen one opera at the Sydney Opera House – Mozart’s Don Giovanni. At intermission we kept remarking to each other how nice it was they apparently have extended intermissions in Australia - we could stand on the outside deck and look up at they twinkly lights of the Sydney skyline. But after a while we started to think it was a really long intermission. When they finally rang the little triangle to get us back in the hall, the director revealed that the lead soprano, playing Donna Anna, had taken ill and so he had called in the understudy for the second half. Unfortunately, the understudy was not in the Opera House - she was in the far suburbs and it took a while for her to arrive. But I think we would have figured out the switcheroo even if he hadn't told us - the first Donna Anna was a tall willowy blonde, in the second half she was a short woman with black hair. No matter, they both sang their hearts out.

State Fair - Southern Hemisphere Style

2008-10-16T12:26:00.006+11:00

As most of you dear readers well know, every August the true Minnesotan’s heart turns to thoughts of corn dogs, cheese curds, crop art, “sturdy” people in Van Halen t-shirts two sizes too small, and all sorts of culinary delights on-a-stick. In other words, the State Fair. Unfortunately, Matt missed the Great Minnesota Get Together this year, and Marlys only went once – truly an insufficient amount of “somethin’ cultural” (to quote a former Sweeney’s co-worker).

Imagine our glee when we learned Melbourne hosts its own agricultural show turned citified carnival – The Royal Melbourne Show. Like the Minnesota version, it started out in days of yore (1880s) with events to determine who had the best pie, cow, horse, sow, etc, but as the area gentrified and urbanized the Royal Melbourne Show slowly but surely dedicated itself to rides, carnival games, home improvement booths, and other events that were more to the taste of the city slicker.

We approached the Royal Melbourne Show with a great deal of excitement. Jacob, the brother of our friend Lucy, was working in the farm animal nursery, and he scored us free entry ($27 per person!) as well as a backstage tour of the animal exhibits. Herewith is our comparison of the MN State Fair (MSF) and the Royal Melbourne Show (RMS):

Food
At the RMS we had fairy floss (cotton candy), chorizo sausages, corn on the cob, souvlaki, chips and Matt tried something not even our Aussie friends had seen before – a yabbie burger. Yabbies are crawfish, and for the burger the yabbies were basically mushed into an inch thick paste and spread on a hamburger bun with a piece of lettuce and a lashing of mayo. Everyone tried a bite and the opinion was unanimous: not nearly as bad as you think it would be.
MSF or RMS? Because it’s about 3 times as big, MSF has a lot more options. However, where they go head to head, MSF only wins in the corn-on-the-cob category. The fries, gyros, and fairy floss are better at the RMS.

Choice, choices

Drink
RMS: Marlys bought a milkshake and only after paying learned “milkshake” = “chocolate milk”. A word to the wise – if you want a real shake, order a “thick shake”. Then, while Marlys and Lucy rode the Ferris Wheel, Matt and Luke discovered one of the two beer gardens. It was run by a microbrewery and had a tasty selection of limited edition beer.
MSF or RMS? The MSF has lots of beer gardens and the Lutheran milkshake stand next to the art building. However, the beer the RMS is better. MSF wins on its (real) milkshakes.

Animals
Again the MSF has a lot more options. More barns, more animals. And the RMS did not have anything comparable to Matt’s favorite MSF animal: the gigantic prize pig. But thanks to the backstage tour with Jacob, we got up close and personal with some of the animals. Plus, there were emu chicks and emu eggs.
MSF or RMS? Matt can go without gigantopig one year. We’re giving this one to the RMS animal barn.

Clientele
Each event is a good spot if you are on an anthropological quest for people with mullets, interesting dress sense, profanity laced t-shirts, poor personal hygiene, bad eating habits, short-shorts and halter tops, and a limited dental complement. A tie.

Carnies
RMS accomplished what one would think impossible – they make the carnies at the MSF look positively WASPy. The two guys running the “No Limit” ride didn’t have a half set of teeth between them, and one look at them told you they hit their stash of weed during their break. All this makes one a bit queasy when there was also a sign by the ride saying “Safety is YOUR Responsibility”. RMS wins on style, MSF on safety.

Attractions
The rides and carnival games were the same, although there were fewer of them at the RMS and they were more expensive. The RMS has a thing called “show bags”, where you typically paid $10-30 for a bag full of goodies from a particular exhibitor. For instance, there was a Cadbury showbag, Pirates of the Caribbean showbag, Dora the Explorer showbag, Barbie showbag, etc. We didn’t buy any, although Matt was tempted by the Hasselhoff showbag ($20 worth of Hoff merchandise!). Some showbags get very expensive and include holidays including airfare, 5-star accommodations, etc. This year the ‘ultimate’ showbag ran a cool A$10,000 and included a large fridge with beer tap, a year’s worth of beer, a freezer filled with beef and a number of other beer or beef related accoutrement.

Beyond the showbags, there was a sad lack of the hucksters pushing ginsu knives, vibrating chairs, superdusters, closet saunas, and all the other crapola that gives the MSF its cosmopolitan air. MSF – victor.

Price
As usual, everything in Melbourne is more expensive than comparable items in Minnesota. MSF wins hands down.

Verdict
Overall, while we had a great time, the Minnesota State Fair will retain its title as the Best Fair Anywhere. Now can someone please mail me a porkchop-on-a-stick?

View from the Ferris Wheel

Melbourne Marathon

2008-10-16T10:47:00.002+11:00

Last Sunday Matt ran the Melbourne Marathon. He finished in 3:42, which was pretty good considering (1) the last 10 miles head due north and there was a strong north wind that day and (2) about 3 weeks ago he injured his knee when a dog hit him and it flared up so bad during the race that he walked a good part of the last 4 miles.

But he he made sure to run the last bit of the race, which ends with a lap around the inside of the MCG. It was pretty cool to compete in this legendary stadium, and people at work were duly impressed - Matt was twice asked "What does the grass on the field smell like?"

As always, Marlys was the support squad extraordinaire and because the course passed near our house a few times she could easily ride her bike to cheer for Matt at different points. We both noticed that Australians cheer runners much less than Americans. At US races people clap or yell for everyone who goes by, but most Aussies only seemed to encourage people they knew.

Matt is still sore today and has no plans for another marathon. For now.

Over One Billion Served

2008-10-07T15:06:00.008+11:00

The billionth jar of the most amazing yeast extract spread ever, Vegemite, has just been sold and that’s the number one news story today in Australia. If you have even a passing acquaintance with Australian culture you’ve heard this black paste celebrated in song (Men At Work singing about a Vegemite sandwich in “Land Down Under”) and universally acknowledged by Americans as the worst aspect of Australian culinary traditions.

It’s hard to overstate just how important Vegemite is to Australia’s sense of self. This picture is from our kitchenette at work: you can see no fewer than 4 jars, all individually labeled.

And in the grocery store you’ll see the Vegemite section, ordered by size of jar starting from the little bitty starter to the huge, gallon size family jar.

When you go to breakfast at a hotel, they’ll have little portion size packets for spreading on your toast – like the little jam packets you get at a diner in the US. And it permeates popular culture in a myriad of ways. If a TV character is late for work in the morning, he's shown rushing out of the house with his Vegemite toast in his mouth. When someone is content they’re referred to as “a happy little Vegemite”. It is also reputed to be an excellent hangover cure, but we will neither confirm nor deny that assertion…

While people will eat it at any occasion, Vegemite is most commonly eaten spread thinly on toast with an underlying layer of butter. People will hotly debate the best type of bread (ciabatta? white bread?) and proper butter/Vegemite proportion. Matt prefers his without butter on whole wheat bread. Marlys prefers hers to remain in the jar.

So happy billionth jar, Vegemite! We’ll try not to remind the Aussies their icon is owned by Kraft – headquartered in the good ol’ US of A.

Shipwreck Coast – Koalas, but no Whales

2008-09-26T09:57:00.004+10:00

Back in 2003, one of the more memorable and visually stunning points of our trip was a day spent driving along the Great Ocean Road (GOR) southwest of Melbourne. But when it was time to return to Melbourne, we wondered: what comes after GOR? The answer? The Shipwreck Coast. And with a name like that, who could resist a trip to continue along the road and see what it’s all about?

The Shipwreck Coast stretches along the Victorian coastline from the western end of the Great Ocean Road to the South Australian border. It is so named (duh) because of the many shipwrecks that occurred there, which were caused by the exceptionally stormy seas of the Bass Strait, known to bedevil even the most seasoned captains. Gales would blow sailing ships directly into the miles of steep jagged cliffs that stretch along the coast.

We made our way via an inland route, skipping the more picturesque but winding Great Ocean Road but saving a half day of driving. We arrived in Port Campbell (where the Great Ocean Road ends) to see the famous Twelve Apostles rock formation, one of the most famous – and spectacular - natural landmarks in Australia.

From there we began the journey up the Shipwreck Coast. Our goal for the day (and where we stayed all weekend) was Warrnambool. Warrnambool (pronounced “Warrmbul” - and as one syllable) was a major whaling port in the heyday of whaling 150 years ago, principally because Right Whales and Blue Whales would winter and calve in the bay there – literally yards off shore. Nowadays, only the occasional Japanese “researcher” worries whales, and they have returned to shores of Warrnambool in such good numbers that people flock there July-September (winter) to catch a glimpse.

A few facts about Right Whales: They’re called right whales because whalers thought they were the “right” type to catch. That is, they’re big, blubbery, and float on the surface when dead. The females give birth to a calf every 3 years like clockwork. And they don’t eat the whole 3 months they’re in the bay calving. Sadly, we didn’t see any whales but we vowed to return until we spotted one.

That night we drove just 20 minutes down the coast to Port Fairy. Port Fairy is one of those seaside villages for which the term “picturesque” was invented. The charm of the town reminded us of places like Mystic and other places on the east coast of the US. We wandered around the main street (not one traffic light) and then headed to our dinner. We were lucky to score reservations at the Merrijig Inn, one of the best rural restaurants in Oz. Merrijig has just been granted an additional “chef hat” by The Age Good Food Guide, the Aussie equivalent to Zagat or Michelin. The extra ‘hat’ was well deserved -- we had a delectable meal.

Sunday we awoke to pouring rain. It’s not often we see this sort of rain – the cats and dogs type – in Australia. After 10 years of drought we’d normally be thrilled to see sheets of rain falling from the dark full clouds. However, we had been planning to hike in Mt Richmond National Park that day. Luckily we had an hour’s drive, and as we arrived at the park the rain stopped for the rest of the day. Even better, we were the only ones at the park – presumably because the day had started so miserably. We literally had our own national park. How cool is that?

One of the reasons for selecting Mt Richmond Park was to correct a nagging problem. We’ve been in Oz for a year and we’ve still never seen a koala in the wild. Sure, we’d seen them (repeatedly) at the animal sanctuary, but considering all the Koala Crossing signs we see on the road, we’ve been completely shut out every time when it comes to seeing one in the wild. Twenty minutes into our hike, we finally scored: a mother and baby sitting out on a branch plain as day. And then, with the curse broken, we started spotting koalas all over the park.

After another picnic lunch (olives, bread, cheeses, sausages, almonds and a shared beer) we headed to Cape Bridgewater. Cape Bridgewater is a moonscape along high cliffs with dramatic views of the coast. The wind was whipping the waves against the cliffs – easy to imagine why so many ships floundered, lurched and crashed here.

We made another attempt to see the whales. Same result, so we headed off to the main attraction when the whales are hiding: Flagstaff Hill and the Shipwreck Museum. Flagstaff Hill itself is a recreated whaling village and “not recommended” (aka dull as dishwater) although to be fair, they are supposed to have a fantastic light show at night (designed by the same team that did the Sydney Olympics in 2000). The Shipwreck Museum was great, however. They had a small but impressive collection of artifacts from and local shipwrecks. The most famous was a delicate, perfectly preserved 3 foot porcelain peacock made byMinton in England. It was intended to be displayed in theMelbourne International Exhibition in 1880 and was the only item to survive the other wise completely destroyed Loch Ard. Remarkable to think an item this fragile survived a storm that battered a steel ship to pieces is a mystery.

We also watched a fascinating home movie about a sailing ship rounding Cape Horn. It was filmed by a young man in 1929 – in 1980 the now elderly captain who did the filming added a narration. You really appreciated how daring (audacious?) one must have been to sail on those ships. He filmed during a storm from top of the masts (17 stories up). The boat was heaving and water was crashing over the deck – the ship completely disappears in the ocean at times. We practically got vertigo from looking at the tiny deck below. Oh, and did we mention he was hanging free? There were no safety lines at the time.

After that it was back to Melbourne, but for those of you planning a visit we now have the perfect one day itinerary on the Great Ocean Road and Shipwreck Coast.

Australia by the Numbers

2008-09-17T09:35:00.003+10:00

We just passed the one year mark living in Melbourne (August 25th to be exact). While contemplating myriad witty ways to quantify or qualify our last 12 months, we found ourselves counting the number of things we’ve done and seen, so in the end we just figured we’d let the statistics speak for themselves.

Herewith, then, some facts from our 1 year (or so) in Australia:

Number of Australian states visited: 4. NT, NSW, VIC and TAS.

Number remaining: 1. A person really needs a reason to visit Canberra.

Number of other countries visited: 2. New Zealand and Singapore.

Number of dents put on the Commodore: Marlys = 1; Matt = 1

Number of new bikes bought: 2. That’s fair…

Number of flats Matt’s bike has picked up: 2.

Number of flats Marlys’ bike has picked up: 0. Life is not always fair.

Number of miles Matt’s flown: 106,423.

Number of movies Matt has seen on an international flight: 36

Number of movies Matt has seen in an actual move theater: 2.

Number of trips Marlys has made to Healesville Animal Sanctuary: 6.

Number of trips Marlys has made to Healesville Animal Sanctuary since we became members: 0.

Number of wineries visited: about 30. Firm count is a bit hazy for some reason.

Number of footy matches: 5.

Number of cricket matches: 2

Number of visitors: 11.

Number of jars of Vegemite purchased: 5.

Number of boxes of Tim Tams eaten: 6

Number of boxes Tim Tams brought to the US: 23.

Number of times we’ve heard the following in actual conversation:

“G’day, mate”: 0
“Shrimp on the barbie”: 0
“Crikey!”: 1. It was just yesterday.
“Fair dinkum”: 1
“Things are so cheap in Melbourne!”: a very big zero.

Number of scuba dives: 0. This is disappointing.

Number of new friends: a lot.

Number of US friends/ family missed: all.

Back in Melbourne

2008-09-04T14:34:00.001+10:00

We’re back in the land of Oz after a long, but still too short, visit to the States. It was wonderful to catch up with friends and family – regrettably we couldn’t spend nearly as much time with everyone as we wanted and some people we didn’t get to see at all. Highlights for us were the O’Toole family reunion at Green Lake and our annual trip to Vegas (which included multiple deposits into various casinos but sadly no withdrawals). Marlys, who was on holiday, got to spend a long weekend with her college friends as well as few days in northern WI with her folks. She is not scheduled to be back in the US for a long while, so it was a much needed and much loved time with her posse.

The trip back was actually pretty relaxing. We had a nice long layover in LA and got to go out for a last ‘true’ Mexican meal with Anne. This has gotten to be a regular routine with Anne and, in fact, we think we could qualify as frequent diners at the Hacienda. The minute the plane left the ground, Matt fell asleep for 7-8 hours, and Marlys did manage a few hours of sleep as well. Qantas has individual movie screens so you’ve got your choice of nearly 30 films and lots of (Aussie and US) TV Shows. Movies viewed by Matt: The Bank Job and Cactus (Australian thriller, never to be seen in the US). Movies viewed by Marlys: Leatherheads, What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas, and Iron Man. Plus magazines, newspapers, watching the flight path and the little plane showing how far you have left, a video game or two. Amazing what you can do in 15 hours.

The first couple days back meant getting back to work, getting back on the right time zone (and learning there’s not a lot of good TV at 3 AM in Australia), buying groceries, and doing all the other things you need to do after the house has been closed up for a month. After that we did have a marvelous Melbourne weekend. The weather was “spring like”, which means 60 and sunny. Matt went for a hike in one of his favorite parks (time to see the roos), we took naps each day, church at St Johns, we had a pint at one of our new favorite pubs and watched the footy, and we hit an awesome Art Deco exhibit at the NGV.

This Saturday we’re off to the mountains for dinner at a Swiss restaurant with friends (what is Swiss cuisine, anyway?) and Sunday we have tickets to the footy playoffs. St Kilda (Marlys’ team) made a late season charge and qualified. Unfortunately, they drew Geelong Cats – the defending champions who’ve only lost one game all season. But we’ll still cheer loudly for the red, white and black!

OK, one funny story. Matt was driving the other day and came upon a very sooty, muddy delivery van. Someone had written a message into the van’s abundant dust, but instead of the usual “wash me”, the cheeky wit wrote, “I wish my wife was this dirty”. Ahh, the Australian humo(u)r.

Good Morning, Miss America!

2008-08-08T00:01:00.002+10:00

A few entries back Matt wrote about his commute from Melbourne to Minneapolis, a trip he makes quarterly for work. Many of you know how I used to travel weekly for work, mostly to sexy hot spots like Green Bay, Omaha, and St. Louis. Moving to Melbourne meant I got off the road, although I have taken the occasional business trip to Sydney (hmmm, never imaged stringing THAT phrase together).

Now a typical commute for me means walking a ½ block to the tram stop. I never look at the schedule like Matt does, I just walk to the corner and wait for one to come. Often this means I walk part of the way and then I hear the screech of the tram wheels along the track as it makes a turn right before my stop and I break into a ridiculous gallop with my briefcase banging against my leg as I “run” along the sidewalk (or footpath as it’s known here). Right before I turn onto the main street (and before my lungs burst) I slow to a walk and casually come around the corner where the other commuters are waiting. This happens most days. Because we are one of the first stops, I’m usually lucky enough to get a seat, pull out my blackberry and catch up on emails. Nearly everyone else is reading, listening to their iPod or both. I must be a Luddite but when did iPods get to be so popular? Everyone has one. The tram is a sea of silent head-bobbing to the separate rhythms. Even people, like, waaaay older than me have them. What are they listening to, I wonder? Is the old Greek woman with the moustache dressed head to toe in black a 50 Cent fan? Sometimes people play their “music” so loud I can hear it - one woman listened to the same Kelly Clarkson song THREE times IN A ROW. I looked at her and (telepathically) said, “Hey, I know what you’re doing there. I KNOW you’ve played the same song three times. And, you know, not even a GOOD song.”

The best part of my commute is getting my flat white. In Australia, they have a different name for every sort of coffee, short black (espresso), long black (regular coffee), or flat white which is I guess like a latte (coffee and hot milk) but not really a latte as lattes are also on the menu - they’re called “lattes”. After I alight from my tram I go to a little Italian restaurant for my morning coffee. The two guys behind the counter, Michael and Angelo, wear black pants, white shirts, and black aprons. Angelo is the one who makes my coffee. He didn’t acknowledge me until I had been there about, oh, 30 times or so, but now I get a smile and a “Hello signora!” from him. Michael on the other hand greets me every morning with “Good Morning, Miss America!” Some days he sings to me: “Nothing like the old songs”, he always says. Dean Martin, Tom Jones, and sometimes, if I’m lucky, an old Italian opera that I don’t understand the words to and, frankly, Michael doesn’t know the words to so it’s sort of a dah dee lala laaaaa dah sort of thing. Regardless, a great way to start my day.

Perhaps I should have said Gerard Depardieu?

2008-08-07T07:45:00.004+10:00

Apologies for the dearth of stories, but as many of you know Matt’s been back in Minnesota for a few weeks and Marlys is only joining him this weekend. We've both been a mite busy. However, that’s not to say nothing amusing happens to us in St Paul. And after having Marlys relate a few embarrassing stories, it only seems to be appropriate to prove Matt has his fair share of moments, too.

Setting: Groveland Tap in St Paul about 8 PM. After a long day of work Matt has treated himself to a Cajun Lucy and a Summit Pilsner (two very important advantages of St Paul over Melbourne) and the waitress (approximately 19 years old and, well, a bit ditsy) has brought the check.

Waitress (twirling blond hair in finger): "Has anyone ever told you that you look like a movie star? I just can’t remember who."

Matt (blushing and increasing tip by 50%): "Why no. Perhaps you’re thinking of Brad Pitt?"

Waitress (giggling): "No, silly. I’d remember if it was someone good looking."

Cue sound of ego deflating.

Special Guest Blogger: Fran!

2008-07-16T10:29:00.004+10:00

Today we are very, very proud to publish a post from our beloved niece, Fran. But before we do, a few prefatory remarks are necessary. One, Fran wrote this all by herself and there was no adult editing involved - certainly none by her aunt or uncle. Two, we know we can never write as well as this (and she's 11!), so don't get used to this literary standard. And three, we think it was very kind of her to omit the incident where her father was bitten in the derriere by a large pelican, so we won't mention it either.

And now, take it away Fran!!

The first words I heard when I stepped off the plane that had carried me half-way across the world was "G’day Ma’am!’ It was the stewardess who spoke those words. They were the first words of a spectacular Aussie adventure.

My experience in Melbourne in particular has been amazing. Matt and Marlys took us to many wonderful places inside and outside the city. My six-day experience has led to many new discoveries in Melbourne including a game called Australian Rules Football. It is a fast-paced game with many different rules. The team that we saw play were the Bulldogs. It was a crazy, wonderful, and brilliant game. However sitting in the stands of the arena was no match to the next place Matt and Marlys took us to, outside of Melbourne in the bush. The Mornington Peninsula is where the raging waters of the Bass Strait collide with the calm waters of Port Phillip Bay. The Bass Strait crashes with so much force that the ocean spray flies up and the sound deafens the ear. Standing atop the peninsula cliff looking into the watery depths below you, it seems that at that time the oceans’ temperamental beauty becomes clear. When you tear your eyes from the ocean and you look behind you can see a new sea; a sea of green. The ocean of green is created by the tops of a gigantic eucalyptus trees. It’s a wonderful sight.

Next we were taken to Healesville sanctuary where they have all the Australian Animals in their natural environment. We saw wallabies, dingoes, emus, koalas, wombats, Tasmanian devils, snakes (Taipan etc.), and kookaburras. Kookaburra‘s laughs I have found are definitely laughing at you not with you! We also went driving through a mountain road that led to a forest that looked astonishingly like Jurassic park! There were huge Mountain Ash trees that formed a cathedral like pattern. There were also giant ferns everywhere! I half expected a T-Rex to come bounding at our car!

We left from Melbourne to tour a little more of Australia. When we came back we went to Vick Market, a outdoor market full of Australian charm. We explored St. Kilda, which is a cute Melbourne neighborhood. Melbourne has a lot of great things to see, like the Eureka Tower and Luna Park. Melbourne is a charming city with many things that keep you happy and entertained. The famous Melbourne Tram transportation can take you all over the city and to some of the many great Melbourne attractions!

I would like to finish by thanking Matt and Marlys for their excellent hospitality! We owe them so much, I cant tell you how much a nice comfortable bed, a hot shower, and people you love to talk to, really improves your trip. They took us around Melbourne and the surrounding areas, took us to hidden wonders and showed us the best of Melbourne.

OK, one last thing. We showed Fran off to all our friends and co-workers in Melbourne, and she was an instant hit. Everyone is asking when she'll be back!

Independence Day – Gippsland Edition

2008-07-10T12:21:00.003+10:00

Living overseas has made us feel more, not less, American. The simple fact is that’s how people refer to us: "the Americans". In the US everyone is a Yank so you’re never introduced as “my American friend". But here that's the inevitable first impression and so when you meet someone you're immediately saddled with all the baggage, good and bad, of the United States. There's plenty of good, mind you. Everyone wants to share their stories of travelling to the US. But I can't tell you how many times people have expressed surprise at my thoughts or behavior because it is, in their mind, un-American; i.e., not wasteful, loud, and ignorant of the rest of the world. And we are also expected to explain or, sometimes, defend whatever US event makes the news. We also worry more about our behavior ("Was I inadvertently loud or rude like the stereotypical American tourist?") because we know what we do will color people's impressions of USA. In short, it's a daily fact of life that we must act as unofficial, unpaid ambassadors.

With that in mind, when invited back to the farm in Yarram over the July 4th weekend we offered to cook up a real American 4th of July BBQ spread for everyone. This was immediately accepted (what host in their right mind turns down the offer of the guest doing the cooking?) and we set out to show them just how tasty an event this could be.

Motoring down the Monash Freeway to Yarram on Friday after work, traffic conditions were just like I-35 heading north out of the Twin Cities on a Friday afternoon. Slooooow. But this left us plenty of time to consider the names of the towns along the way: Koo Wee Rup, Nar Nar Goon, Bunyip, Kurumburra, Noojee, Mount Baw Baw, Won Wron (one hit, no errors, no one left on base), and Moe (pronounced “mo-EE”).

No trip to Yarram is complete without some sort of drama from Matt. You may recall on the last trip Matt was shooting at empty beer cartons with the other guys when one rifle – the one with a particular kick –gave Matt a half moon scar on his forehead as a permanent reminder of the bush. This time the drama involved the “road”. The track up to Fay’s house is long, very steep, and windy. It’s unpaved and riddled with washouts, potholes and gullies.

ANYWAY, Matt got about 1/8th the way up and immediately slid into a narrow ditch on the side of the rode. Alas, the Commodore, for all her lovely virtues, does not have 4x4 clearance and we were stuck. As Matt started to walk up the ½ mile track to the house (using his cell phone as a flashlight), the people in the house realized we were missing and drove down to find us.

No worries. Fay called the RACV (the Victorian version of AAA) and “Baggsy” rocked up about 10 minutes later in his Ute to pull us out. Which took about 5 seconds. As thanks, Fay invited him in for a can of beer, which, being the typical Aussie bloke, Baggsy accepted. And being a typical Aussie bloke, he immediately fished his stubby holder (beer can cooler) out of his jacket pocket and awaited his VB. He later let slip it was his third one of the night – rescue and beer, we understand.

On Saturday afternoon a bunch of the local young farmers showed up in their 4x4s and Matt was invited out for a ride. Marlys did not see him depart and so was unaware of one important feature of the ride: it did not involve sitting in the cab of the 4x4, but standing in the bed of the pickup and holding onto the roll bar. Don’t worry, he received top notch safety instructions: “If it starts to roll, jump away from the roll. And go quick because if you’re slow everyone else will use you for leverage.” One has never lived until they’ve driven along washed out fire roads at 40 mph on the back of a pick up. The scenery was gorgeous (Matt saw a lyre bird, which is very rare) and although the Ute never rolled (some people seemed disappointed) Matt was sufficiently terrified to deem it a once in a lifetime experience.

Marlys (let’s be honest, she’s the chef and party planner) put on a fantastic BBQ. There were frankfurters, baked beans, potato salad with eggs, cole slaw, and 3-bean salad (note to self: cabbage, 2 bean dishes, eggs, and lots of pork products = an aromatic ride home). And in true O’Toole family tradition, our friend Dom ensured there was an American flag dessert. Afterward we all sat around a bonfire, lit sparklers and stayed up late talking and looking at the stars. This far out in the bush the constellations are unrecognizable because there are so many stars! The 4th couldn’t have been more perfect.

Crimson Rosellas. There were a dozen that hung around the house.

Dom's Flag Cupcakes

Where the Bloody Hell Have you Been?®

2008-07-03T13:46:00.007+10:00

You may have noticed our last few posts were written by other people, and I suppose you have been wondering what we've been up to the past couple months. So we took a squiz at our diaries (Eek! ‘Strine! Here’s the American translation: “we took a look at our calendars”) and here, in a nutshell, is what we’ve been doing.

Work. Lots of it.

A trip. In May we were supposed to spend 5 days on the tropical island of New Caledonia. However, because of the French civil service we spent 4 days at Ayer’s Rock in the red center of Australia. There’s more to this story (and pictures) so we’ll put up a longer post when we get the chance.

More work. Lots more.

Visitors. Marg, Monique, Pat, John and Fran all came to stay. We got to show off our new city and more importantly see a few faces we’ve missed. Rather than tell you how great it was, we’ll let them do it in their own words: there is a link to Monique’s trip in the previous post and Fran is going to give us some material when she returns to the States. The lucky girl is in New Zealand right now.

Still more work. Still lots of it.

That's what's been going on. I know - boring. So what’s up next for us? Well, this weekend we are heading back to Lucy & Fay’s farm in Gippsland (described at "Australia Day"). Since we went there for Australia Day, it only seems right we go back for the Fourth of July. We are putting on a real American BBQ Saturday to show these Aussies how to celebrate your nation’s founding.

Speaking of Gippsland (and to give you a little flavor of the region), the second biggest Australian political news in the last few weeks is their by-election. The old MP suddenly quit and the election was seen as a referendum on the current Labor government. Labor got creamed, but that’s not necessarily any indication of the national mood. The reason they lost (and here’s the real insight into Gippsland) is the Labor government wants to close a post office in Tarralgon, the biggest town. That‘s how rural Gippsland is – closing a post office will lose you an election.

So if that's the number two political story, what’s number one? Easy –it’s “Iguanagate”. Yes, American cultural imperialism has reached the point where others now mimic the annoying habit of adding “-gate” to every political scandal. Anyhow, the short story is a Labor MP got drunk at a bar (Iguana Joe's) and was tossed out. On her way out, she threatened to have their liquor license revoked and said such brilliant things as “do you know who I am? I'll make you regret this!”. Once the story broke, she should have just apologized and said “I was drunk and stupid”. The story would have died immediately - she’s a politician so such behavior is expected. But instead she bullied her staff and others to change sworn statements about what happened that night. And when that got out, she started looking at criminal charges akin to suborning perjury. Uh oh. It doesn’t help that in a movie she’d be played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.

So that’s what’s going on in the sunburnt country. Here’s some pictures so you know we’re not just typing this from our basement in St Paul:

Us at Ayer's Rock
Ayer's Rock at Sunrise
A Wild Camel We Saw at the Olgas

It's Winter Here!

Melbourne Review

2008-07-01T13:27:00.006+10:00

Want to know what a trip to Melbourne is like? Check out the review in this blog: Marvelous Melbourne

Great story MQ!

Out of the Mouths of Babes

2008-06-20T15:00:00.006+10:00

People always ask what we miss the most about the US. While black beans are wayyyyy up there, missing our nieces and nephews (age 6 months to 32 years) is the certainly the hardest part about being so far away.

We asked all of them (those old enough to string together complete sentences, anyway) to submit a question or two about Australia. Without further ado, here’s what's on the minds of generations X, Y, and Z.

Britta is 14 and loves country music, movies, and hockey. She is taking Driver’s Ed and is looking forward to her 15th birthday and getting her permit. Her favorite vegetable is broccoli and her hobby is teasing her Uncle Matt.

Q: Have Aborigines been integrated into Australian businesses or are they more separate?
A: One of Australia’s biggest social problems is the inequality of Aboriginals – or Indigenous People. You do not find Aboriginals in the cities or working for big companies. There are no Aboriginals in federal parliament and no national leaders are Aboriginals. While Americans debate whether Barack Obama can be the first black president, no one in Australia can even conceive of an Aboriginal prime minister. The only place where Aboriginals can be seen in any noticeable numbers is in professional football (Aussie rules), where they are recognized as great athletes.

Esko is 13 and a sports enthusiast. He likes to fish, swim, play baseball and golf but his all-time favorite sport to play is hockey. He’s also a huge fan of the Minnesota Wild.

Q (not surprisingly): Does Australia have any hockey rinks?
A: According to the organisation "Ice Skating Australia" there are 20 ice skating rinks in the country. Sadly, there are no reports of hockey and all rinks are devoted to developing and preparing elite Australian athletes for participation in international figure-skating events. The rinks do have some interesting names, however. My personal favorite is Big Banana Ice Rink.

Will is 5 years old. He likes soccer, gadgets, dangerous animals, hanging out with his cousin Jared, and most kinds of candy. He recently lost his first tooth.

Q: Have you seen any real live sharks?
A: Not since our dive trip on the Great Barrier Reef in 2003.

Q: Have you seen any funnel web spiders?
A: No, but a woman we work with has a sister who lives in Sydney and during the summer she has to clean her swimming pool every morning to get rid of the funnel spiders that got into the pool overnight. We also saw a big poisonous spider a couple weeks ago when we were in the Northern Territories. Marlys kept telling Matt to “get closer”. Matt was smart enough to disobey.

Q: What do the funnel web spiders look like?
A: Funnel-webs are large spiders (1.5 - 4.5 cm body length) with a glossy dark brown to black carapace. The abdomen is usually dark plum to black and not patterned.

Q: What is your apartment called?
A: As Buckingham Palace, the White House, Tara, and Love Shack were taken, we just call it home sweet home.

Q: Are there lots of boats there?
A: Yes, we live on Port Phillip Bay, which is part of the Pacific Ocean, so lots of people have sailboats. But there are also cruise ships, barges, fishing boats, and ferries, all of which we watch from Tara…. I mean home.

Q: Have you seen any blue ring octopi (excellent use of the correct plural declension, Will!)?
A: No. The claim to fame for the blue ring octopus is its neuromuscular paralyzing venom, which is a poison more deadly than that of any land animal. The good news is the blue ring octopus is not an aggressive animal and it would rather eat fish and invertebrates. By the way, the toxin in Blue Ring Octopus poison is the same one found in the deadly Funnel Web Spider’s venom!

Q: And tell me if you saw any sharks.
A: Still no.

Mirabel is 3 (4 in just a couple weeks). She loves fruit, animals, mermaids and the color pink. She is going to ballet camp this summer and we can’t wait to see her dance. Her favorite ice cream is chocolate. Mirabel is between big brother, Will, and little sister, our darling red-headed Luz (who’s 1).

Q: Have you seen any kangaroos?
A: Yes, we have seen lots of kangaroos – groups are called ‘mobs’ - at animal sanctuaries and in the wild.

Q: Have you seen any penguins there?
A: Yes, we live 2 hours away from a natural penguin habitat. They are called fairy penguins.

Q: Talk about salad for the polar bears.
A: Polar bears – or any sort of bear – are not indigenous to Australia. The only bears are in the zoo and come from other countries. Koalas are sometimes called “Koala Bears” but this is incorrect – Koalas are marsupials and an Aussie will correct you if you say Koala Bear. Koalas eat eucalyptus leaves, which is kind of like a salad.

Q: I’m curious about the tigers at Australia since tigers are very cool. I like the way that tigers eat salad.
A: The only tigers in Australia are the Richmond Tigers, a footy team.

Joseph is 3. He is crazy for trains and his monkey, Mambo. He likes books and match-box cars and is the big brother of one year old Dominic.

Q: Is it true kangaroos can surf? I saw a picture of this once but I'm not sure if they can.
A: We’ve never heard of a kangaroo surfing, but last summer there was a story in the paper where people saw a kangaroo hop into the ocean and get eaten by a great white shark. We're not kidding.

Zuriah is 6, turning 7 in a month, and our great-nephew (mom is our niece, Chrishaunda). “Z”, as he’s known, likes magic tricks and is quick witted with a great sense of humor. Z has a new baby brother, 6-month old Tavien, who’s been dubbed by Z as “Tav-man the caveman”.

Q: Are there lots of kangaroos and wild beasts in Australia?
A: There are lots of wild animals and many that are only found in Australia. In addition to kangaroos, we’ve seen wombats, echidnas, platypi, koalas, and lots of birds like cockatoos, magpies, and kookaburras.

Q. I want to know if there are any lakes out there.
A. Lake Eyre in the state of South Australia is the largest lake when it fills. Like most lakes in Australia it has a heavy salt content and runs very low during the dry season. Lake Eyre has only filled six times since 1885 so…not much of a lake for those of us used to the Great Lakes. Lake Eyre is also the lowest point in all of Australia.

Corrina is 7. She’s funny, kind, and a fantastic swimmer. Corrina loves playing Legos with brother Jared and is fond of adventures…she holds the family record for the most broken bones and stitches. She is absolutely stylin’ in her new eye-glasses.

Q: Do you have computers?
A: Yes. That’s how we do our work everyday.

Q: Do you have paper?
A: Yes. But paper is very expensive. Did you know that Melbourne has the most expensive toilet paper in the world? (Again - we’re not kidding).

Q: Do you swim in the ocean?
A: Yes, although it is winter now so the water is cold.

Q: Do you have drums?
A: No, but there are bands here who do. There's a traditional Aboriginal musical instrument called the didgeridoo, which is a hollowed out log that can be played sort of like a bassoon or clarinet. It is a very unique instrument.

Jared is 9. He loves performing and is quite the budding actor. He loves exploring, pirates (& treasure maps), snakes, reptiles, and Legos. His favorite color is orange.

Q: Do you exercise outside?
A: Matt does, Marlys exercises her right to free speech.

Q: Do you have missiles?
A: The Australian Air force is well equipped with missiles. They are friends with the American army and are fighting with the US in Iraq and Afghanistan.

Q: Do you have game shows?
A: Yes. Most of the game shows are a rehash of USA shows like Deal or No Deal, although the most they can win is A$250,000. One of our favorite shows is called Spicks and Specks. This is a music game show with two teams made up of major and minor celebrities – mostly radio personalities or band members we never heard of, although Geoffrey Rush (fellow Melbournian who won an Oscar playing a pianist in the movie, Shine) was on once. Spicks and Specks enlightens and entertains - and exposes the world of music like never before. The teams go head to head as they sing, shout, and delve deep into the recesses of their collective minds to earn their team an extremely inglorious victory (i.e., no prizes). Whether discussing the lyrical genius of Gilbert and Sullivan, the reasons Ozzy Osborne wore a dress or just how a musician can choke on a harmonica, no musical genre is overlooked… well, except for maybe Swedish folk music, but hey, we all have limits.

Dusty is the oldest (32) and lives in Denver. He submitted these questions under opprobrious duress from his favorite Auntie. Dusty amazes us at his capacity for trivia. He has an unbelievable memory and the ability to recall obscure facts from some news show, article, or documentary. He’s a fan of poker and Jack Daniels. He has two siblings – Chrishaunda and Elias. While Chrishaunda is represented by her son Zuriah in this blog, Elias (who just turned 24) entirely ignored our request to submit a question for the blog entry and will be dealt with later….

Q: What is the highest recorded temp in the outback?
A: The highest recorded temp was 50.7 C (123.3 degrees Fahrenheit) in January 2nd, 1960 in the town of Oodnadatta. Oodnadatta is in the state of South Australia and in 2006 had a population of 277 people.

Q: Has it ever snowed?
A: Yes. While Australia is mostly desert (approx. 40% of the landmass is covered by sand) some states – the alpine areas of Victoria, New South Wales, Tasmania – get snowfall every year and even have ski resorts. But winters are very mild, even in the mountains, and most Australians only dream of playing in and seeing snow.

For those of you keeping score, we have 13 nieces and nephews (if we’re still counting Elias, that is) and 2 great-nephews. Due to their age, Tavien, Luz and Dominic got a pass on participating in this little project. Our niece Fran does not feature on the above as she is currently down under visiting us. Tune in again soon as Fran will be our SPECIAL GUEST BLOGGER !

Dry Thoughts on a Rainy Day

2008-05-27T15:25:00.002+10:00

It’s raining today so of course all thoughts in Melbourne are on the current drought. It is the height of bad manners in Australia to complain about receiving rain, and instead everyone says “I hope it’s falling in the [water] catchments.” The experts say we need two straight years of above average rainfall to break the drought because one year will just loosen up the hard, hard soil. Unfortunately, this May has been extremely dry - and May is supposed to be one of the wetter months.

We were in a town called Ballarat a few weeks ago, and decided to ride our bikes around Lake Wendouree, a tourist attraction in town. For you Twin Citians, Lake Wendouree is about the size of Lake Calhoun, and during the 1956 Olympics the rowing and canoeing competitions were held on Wendouree.

But as you can see from the photos above, the lake is completely dry. Those buildings off in the distance? Those are boathouses. It was eerie riding around a lake, seeing signs like “no swimming” and passing rowing clubs, boat launches, fishing piers, and mooring buoys, all sitting on a dusty pan of former lake.

And now… MORE about sports….

2008-05-15T18:34:00.007+10:00

As many of you are aware, we were very fortunate to have a couple destination options for this international assignment – Brussels, London, and Melbourne. As we were weighing the pros and cons of each, we received some excellent advice from our friends Donna and Dirk – long time expats themselves. Dirk said, “As you’re choosing, think about what you’ll be doing when you’re NOT working. Consider where you want to wake up each morning.” Hmmm foggy London? With the bad traffic and high cost of living? Or Melbourne? Endless beaches, sunshine, and kangaroos? Right. Melbourne it is. (No, we never considered Brussels…). Donna advised, “When you’re living abroad, don’t live like a temporary citizen. Embrace the city and culture as if you were planning to spend the rest of your lives there.” There have been a few blog references to sports and how Australians – especially Melbournians – are crazy for any sort of sport. As part of our quest to truly embrace the city and ‘live like a local’ we’ve attended a number of sporting events.

Tennis
The Australian Open (one of the big 4 – the other three being US Open, Wimbledon, and The French Open at Roland Garros) is held in Melbourne each January. (Yes, Tanya, you can gloat to your friends that you were correct.) The “Asia Pacific Tennis Grand Slam” is fabulous. The tennis grounds are permanent, with 3 major arenas and 22 side courts where you can get close to your favorite players. You can get up close with Andy Roddick, James Blake, Jarkko Nieminen, the Williams sisters, or Raphael Nadal as they practice, play doubles, or in early round matches, play singles. It is THE BEST way to spend a day. The hot January sun beating down, ice cold VB, hushed crowds, and the rhythmic sound of the tennis ball bouncing off the racket and the new cobalt blue courts – unless of course you’re watching Maria Sharapova where each shot is punctuated with her signature grunt.

If you think this event is completely peaceful and innocuous, here’s an excerpt from the January 16 newspaper, The Herald Sun.

“THE Australian Open erupted in ugly violence last night as police doused tennis fans with capsicum [ed. that’s ‘Strine for pepper] spray. Panic gripped Margaret Court Arena as spectators gasped for air after coming into contact with the spray. Many ran for the exits and the match had to be stopped. Police used the spray to try to subdue fans of Greek player Konstantinos Economidis who became upset when police tried to evict members of their cheer squad.”

Can you imagine tennis fans being so unruly that they need to be pepper sprayed? Yep. If they’re AUSSIE tennis fans.

M&M at Australian Open in Jan

Australian Rules Football
Australian rules football, Australian football, Aussie rules, or simply “footy” is a sight to behold. It’s played between two teams of 18 players on a large oval grass field with four goal posts at each end. Half the footy teams are based in Victoria and I tell you, Melbournians are MAD for this game.

It’s a game I wouldn’t necessarily think of as intuitive and it takes a while to get the hang of how it works. Lots of men without helmets, padding, or any other protective gear running, jumping, tackling, and kicking (the football) back and forth across the field. I have no idea what is going on, but then Matt finally came up with this explanation – imagine a game combined of soccer, rugby, and keep away… THAT’S IT! I’ve got it!

Now, can someone explain why the uniforms are so hideous? There’s one team – Hawthorn – that’s known as the “poos and wees” this is because the team colors are urine yellow and excrement brown. What could be worse than these colors? I’ll tell you what could be worse – the putrid way they’re displayed on the stripped knee socks and jerseys the players wear, that’s what. Imagine thick, alternating swathes of the offending colors. I just can’t get behind a team that looks that revolting.

Neither can our (aforementioned) friend, Tanya. John and Tanya made their second journey to Australia this past March. We had a fabulous time visiting pubs on St. Patrick’s Day, the Melbourne laneways, the Yarra valley and a Hawthorn vs. Melbourne footy match. Hawthorn is a top tier team and they beat the pants off of the Melbourne Demons. How badly you ask? By more than 100 points. That’s not just a win… it’s humiliation. John and Tanya took a spin around the massive arena (which seats 90,000!) and returned with a souvenir. A Melbourne Demons shirt. Tanya shrugged her shoulders, “I just couldn’t pay good money for Hawthorn shirt – they’re horrible”.

This year, Aussie rules celebrates 150 years of Australian Football. I’ve decided to barrack (Australians don’t say root…rooting is only done by consenting adults) for St. Kilda – the area of town closest to where we live. They’re called the Saints and their colors are black, white, and red. Now this is a team I can cheer for!

Tanya, John, and Matt at Footy

Cricket
For us Yanks cricket has always been that genteel game played by snooty British twits wearing white pants and cardigans and saying things like “By Jove, splendid wicket there Lord Reginald!” In reality, cricket is nothing like that: in Australia (and every other cricket country) it is a sport played by the common masses and inspires the same sort of rabid intensity of sport fans of any class or socioeconomic status. In fact, in Australia going to the cricket is considered the ideal party day out for the younger set – which we learned at the matches we attended this year.

Remember a few paragraphs ago where I said Aussie rules isn’t very intuitive? Let me tell you a little about cricket. Cricket has been around over 250 years. It is a bat and ball sport played by two teams with 11 players each, although when a team is batting that team only has two players on the field and they are both batsmen (batters). The batsmen) are “bowled” (pitched) to by a bowler. Why don’t they just say “pitch”, like baseball? Because “the pitch” is a rectangular area of the ground approx. 20 yards length the bowlers run along before they bowl the ball (a hard Cricket ball about the size of a fist, thrown overhand into the pitch, it should bounce once and then reach the batsman). Behind each of the (2) batsman (one on each end of the pitch) there are two sets of “wickets”. Wickets consist of three wooden stumps (a couple feet high) with two bails (wooden doo hickeys) on top.

As a batsman, the object is to hit (bat) the cricket ball in order to defend the wicket that’s right behind you. When you do bat the ball, you and the second batsman (non-striker), run back and forth across the pitch to score runs while the other team (mostly comprised of fielders) races to catch or field the ball and get one (or another) of the batsmen out. If you hit it out of the field (a “boundary”) in the air its 6 runs. A boundary on the ground is 4 runs.

There are multiple forms of cricket but the three most common versions are –20 over cricket, one day cricket, and test cricket, the last which is a match that spans several days. The two longer ones have breaks in the match. The breaks are not called anything like “interval” or “half time”, they’re called “tea”, “lunch” and “drinks”.

Confused yet?

When booking tickets Matt had no idea where to sit so he bought reserved seats, not general admission, to ensure we were not amongst the unwashed masses. When Kris, a co-worker, mentioned all the seats are great except for those in “Bay 13”, which he described as a haven for the young, the drunk, the slightly offensive – you get the picture. Matt googled “bay 13”, and sure enough, it was mentioned in several news articles. The most common adjectives in the stories were “notorious”, “rowdy”, “intoxicated”, and “arrests”. The actual area had been eliminated by a reconstruction of the Melbourne Cricket Ground (aka the MCG or just “the “G”) a few years ago, but the atmosphere lingered in the general vicinity: Hmm, should we be worried our seats were in “section 13”?

We brought our good friends Megan and Will (visitors from the states and cricket virgins) to the match. “It will be a great way to spend a leisurely afternoon” we said. “Sunny Sunday, quiet and relaxing like baseball”, we said. Not in Australia. The fans were intense, riveted, and unruly. In the end we sat above section 13, which meant we were out of the hooligan section but had an excellent view of it. Fans – replete with face paint and wearing Australian flags as capes – were getting hauled off by police at a regular clip and the Melbourne police set up a temporary office to book, fingerprint, and/or fine the offending fans.

Megan and Marlys watched 4 hours before deciding they had enough. Matt and Will stayed on a few more hours until the end. Imagine the poor blokes hauled out of the MCG – some pulled out and arrested even before the first bowl. That means missing 6 (or more) hours of cricket with your friends. Although we suppose that does mean enough time to make bail, sober up, go home, change, have a few beers, and head back to the MCG to meet up with your friends and catch the end of the game.

Some of you may ask how you know when a Cricket match is over and there’s a winner. My answer is: that’s a REALLY good question.

Bay 13

Marlys & Matt at Cricket

Matt wearing Aussie Cricket jumper outside the G

Views on Americans

2008-05-08T09:59:00.002+10:00

People often ask us what Australians (and others) think of Americans. Rather than bore you with our thoughts, read the comment section in the article below. The original article was about whether the US is underrated as a travel destination, but in the comments Australians talk about their impressions of Americans and travelling around America.

The good news? Most loved the States, and the ones who don't almost invariably come off sounding like morons.

http://blogs.theage.com.au/travel/archives/2008/04/the_most_underrated_country_in_the_world.html

Enter the Dark Ages

2008-05-07T16:16:00.005+10:00

We've written about the drought. We've sent you e-mails in January complaining about how bloody hot it is. No doubt we've created the impression that Melbourne is the land of eternal sunshine.

Well, let us correct that impression. It has been raining. And cold. Every day. For the past two weeks. And since we are approaching the winter solstice, it is also dark. Early. As we go into work and before we go home.

No wonder everyone wears black here. It suits the current mood.

Marlys & Nita - Not Quite Thelma & Louise

2008-05-01T08:43:00.000+10:00

While Matt was in the US Marlys has a visit from our sister-in-law, Nita. Nita is “the runner”. She’s run a marathon in all 50 states, every Canadian province (however many those are), and all 7 continents. Nita is now going to honor our time in Australia by running a marathon in all 8 Australian states. She's already ticked off Queensland and came to run in our home state of Victoria and the ACT (Australian Capitol Territory, aka Canberra).

Marlys and Nita hit the town while she was here. One trip was to the Crown Casino, the big Vegas style casino (complete with light and fire shows, cabarets, and swank restaurants) in the middle of Melbourne and right on the Yarra River. Nita and Marlys have gambled before – during a girl’s long weekend with Marlys' Grandma Impi in Vegas in the early 90’s and once when they used the woman's bathroom at the Great Wall in China (a story not really fit for these blog pages!).

The Melbourne casino doesn’t have video poker but it does have blackjack. Nita under-budgeted and over-lost. Marlys had not played blackjack since the Vegas trip with Nita years ago - she plays 3 card poker these days. Fortunately it all came back to her and she went up $75. At which point Nita pounced and announced Marlys was buying dinner. While at the table they met a few blokes, started "the wave", and had people betting on their hands. Marlys earned 5 pairs with one hand, paying out at 25 to one. There was one crazy hand where the dealer almost ran out of table for his cards. He dealt himself 4 - 3 - 2 - 3 - ace - 2 - ace - 8 and he kept counting his cards until Marlys yelled out, "Dude, you got like...an 89!!" which cracked up the whole table. Then someone chimed, "you can keep counting but you lost...pay us!!!".

Many of Melbourne’s city highlights are centered around the CBD (Central Business District – Melbourne’s ‘downtown’). Nita soon became very familiar with the CBD and all it had to offer. But there was one perplexing traffic move – the hook turn. Ahhhh, hook turns. Melbourne has instituted this unique driving phenomenon because of the trams running down the middle of the road in the CBD. Since you drive on the left in Australia, when you want to turn right you would block the tram tracks if you waited in the middle of the road to make your turn. So instead, you turn on your right indicator and proceed to the far LEFT lane, wait for the green light to turn to RED and THEN cross 6 lanes of traffic and two tram lines to complete your right turn. Nita's new favorite pastime became waiting for the subsequent crash which she expected to happen any moment. Her second favorite thing was when multiple cars and a motorcycle are all waiting to turn right. Hook turns are only found in Melbourne so you're just going to have to come here to see one for yourself!!!

And in Today's News....

2008-04-19T11:37:00.003+10:00

You’ve heard it before - Australians are a sports-mad people. I know we’ve written it in this blog, and if you Google “sports mad Australians” you’ll get 229,000 hits (now 229,001 with this post). So I’m never surprised that a sports story is on the front page of the paper.

But last week was something else. Here’s what happened. A footy player, Barry Hall of the Sydney Swans, king hit another player in the middle of a match. “King hit” is Australian for “sucker punch”. Not sure why they call it a king hit. Maybe something to do with that famous pugilistic poobah, Don King? Or maybe Billy Jean? Anyhoo, it was captured live on TV and in lots of lurid photographs.

Since then both daily papers – The Age (lefty intellectual broadsheet) and the Herald Sun (Rupert Murdoch’s right wing tabloid) have had stories about Hall and his punch on the front page every single day, with banner headlines and lots of pictures. The stories do vary. Some are about Hall, some about the guy he hit, some about famous “king hits” in the past, sometimes they trot out a neurosurgeon to discuss possible brain injury, etc, etc. But come on people – isn’t there anything more important to write about? Australia have soldiers dying in Afghanistan, there’s a drought on, there are car crashes, and the police are having sex with transvestites in the station houses (no, I did not make that up). At a minimum, Brittany Spears must have done something in the last week!

But no, the king hit stories continued until Friday (a full week after the punch), when the Herald Sun finally led with a different story: they tracked down footy’s most famous female streaker somewhere in the bush of the Northern Territories and scooped an interview. You gotta give it up for the Sun, they found the perfect story: combine sports and naked women, and you can even splash a picture of the woman au natural on the front page to give us some historical context.

Good onya, Rupert.

A Look at That Bike

2008-04-18T15:07:00.003+10:00

Judging by our reader mailbag, the "Marlys Gets a Bike" story is the runaway crowd favorite. So here's a picture of Marlys and her new machine (Please pronounced the "ch" as you would in "charge"). Trust us - it has wheels.

Matt’s Quarterly Commute or How to Have a Layover

2008-04-18T14:43:00.002+10:00

Judging by the “fan” mail, some of you noticed the dearth of new posts in the last month. Sorry to have disappointed our dear readers, but Matt was back in the States for a couple weeks and Marlys was busy entertaining guests. And oh, yeah - we have jobs, too. However, we do have some half-written posts we are going to finish and display as soon as we have a chance. But here’s something to whet your appetite until we can give you another stirring story of our Australian adventure.

Matt left the Twin Cities last Thursday and was due to arrive in Melbourne on Saturday morning. He had a 7 PM flight from MSP to LA, a two and a half hour layover, then the long flight to Melbourne. Matt normally takes the 5 PM flight from MSP because he doesn’t want to worry about him or his bags making the connection in LA. But this time the travel agent mistakenly put him on the 7 PM and he didn’t bother to change it. A critical error.

As many of you know, the weather in the Twin Cities was terrible that Thursday. Cold with a sort of rain/snow/slush combo precipitation. As a result: the airport was down to one runway for a couple hours, and they even closed for a time. The 7 PM departure became 8:45, and eventually, after an hour of sitting on the ground followed by nearly an hour de-icing, 10 PM. Matt finally arrived in LA at the uncivilized hour of 12:30 AM. (Question: 12:30 is written 0:30 on the 24 hour clock, which captures the late hour much better, don’t you think?). Qantas #94 to Melbourne was somewhere over the Catalina Islands by then.

The problem with missing the connection in LA is that all flights to Australia, whether going direct to Melbourne or Sydney or getting there via a connection, leave within a 3 hour window starting at 9 PM. So if you miss your flight, you can’t "grab the next one" or go "first thing the next morning". Matt faced the prospect of a full day in the City of Angels, no doubt in some cockroach infested fleabag hotel supplied (grudgingly) by Northwest.

All this sounds like the beginning of one of those nightmare travel stories, but thankfully it’s nothing of the sort. While still in the Twin Cities, but knowing there was no way on earth he was getting on his Qantas flight that night, Matt called our friend Anne, who lives in LA, and asked if he could spend the night at her place. And not only did Anne pick him up at the airport at 1 AM (01:00), she called the airline and got him confirmed on the next flight to Melbourne (tomorrow) while he was winging his way over the Great Plains.

So Friday, rather than being spent sitting in the El Roach-o Motel and desperately dialing to get onto a plane to Oz, proceeded completely differently. Anne lives on the beach and it was a gorgeous day in LA, so Matt slept in, got a few work projects done, took a long walk on the beach, followed by burrito lunch, a few hours reading on the beach, and then a Mexican dinner with Anne. (As many of you know, the dearth of Mexicans in Australia means there is absolutely no decent Mexican food on the continent, so the opportunity to inhale as many tortilla chips, black beans, and carnitas as possible is not to be missed). After a few cerveza and great conversation, Anne took Matt to lovely LAX, where he leisurely caught the flight to Melbourne and Marlys. Now THAT’s how an unexpected layover should work.

Thanks Anne!

Stargazing

2008-03-19T09:42:00.000+11:00

The Southern Cross is a constellation visible only in the southern hemisphere. It's also called this because the 4 stars of the cross point due south - like the big dipper pointing to the North Star back home. The most common place to see it is on the Australian flag. The second most common place is the kiwi flag. Third most common is in the sky, and that's where your intrepid explorers ran into a bit of trouble.

Ever since we first came to Australia in 2003 we've wanted to see the Southern Cross. On that trip we were out on the Coral Sea and Marlys asked the captain if he could point out the cross for her. "Sure love. Come up on deck at 3 AM and it will be bright and visible." 3 AM? Never saw the cross that trip.

We figured once we moved here we'd definitely see the Southern Cross. And with our view over Port Phillip Bay, surely it would just jump out at us on a clear night. Right? Alas, no. When the stars came out, there were so many there was no way to tell which one was the Southern Cross. "Is that it? Or maybe that?"

Eventually it got to be a running joke. We'd get off the tram at night and as we walked to the house one of us would say "Oh honey, there's the Southern Cross" and point in a random direction. The other would say "Yep - looks beautiful tonight." Then we'd grind our teeth in frustration. Stupid stars.

But lo and behold we finally saw the Southern Cross – or perhaps finally identified the Southern Cross would be more accurate. Here's how it happened. First, someone informed us the cross on the flag is a bit misleading. The Southern Cross is lying on its side. What? Can't these people get the stupid flag right? I mean, it's not like the stars were periodically changing position or something! So all the time we were looking for the pole star that didn't exist.

Next, someone correctly identified south for us. Yes, we were gazing sort of east southeast instead of south the whole time. Look, we're not voyageurs and if we needed to know the cardinal points 24 hours a day, we'd buy a compass.

Armed with these two important pieces of data, we looked up (and south). And there it was!! Just like on the flag - if the flag is held up at a 90 degree angle that is.

These days we point it out all the time, which has deprived us of one good running gag but, on the other hand, we always know where south is located. We'll never get lost in Oz now - unless it's cloudy.

One other celestial discovery. Being south of the equator the "normal" constellations are upside down. Yep, when you look at Orion he is doing a handstand, although his sword somehow defies gravity. Australians call Orion "the saucepot". Some say this is because the constellation looks like a pot when turned upside down. Other's say it's because Orion was a heavy drinker. IF he's an Aussie - bet on the latter

Marlys’ New Bike: The most Dangerous Thing on Two Wheels

2008-03-11T17:15:00.001+11:00

First let’s start by saying Marlys hasn’t ridden a bike in over 30 years. What? Noooo. How can that possibly be…? Let me tell you it’s true. I was probably 13 years old (so almost 33 years ago) the seat was of the banana variety and you reversed your right leg in order to brake.

Melbourne is a great city for bike-riders – very flat (except in the downtown area) and lots of parks and dedicated bike paths including one along the ocean right out our front door. Beautiful bikes gliding along a scenic path. I wanted to be one of those people. I wanted a bike.

So I bought a bike. We have a local bike shop just a couple blocks away – great brands (said Matt) with knowledgeable sales staff (said the sign). I was excited! I had just started browsing – blue bikes, green bikes, black bikes, and red bikes. This was early in the day when I thought color would be my only worry. I soon discovered bikes have changed. I told my sales guy I didn't need something as "fancy” as a ten speed....Matt and the guy exchanged glances. “Honey, they don’t make 10 speeds anymore”, Matt said gently. Oh. “Well, what’s the lowest amount of speeds?”, I asked. I just wanted the most basic of bikes. I ended up with a 21 speed - which I understand is indeed about the lowest possible. I would also like to state for the record that I was tricked. My sales guy said it was a three speed (but had 7 possible gears for each). 3x7 = 21. I hate math.

After we bought the bike, a bike helmet (I managed to refrain from buying one with flames painted on the side), and a bike lock, my sales guy referred me to Rocky. “Rocky teaches everyone to ride.” he claimed. Rocky was a tall, fit, good looking Italian (Greek?) with a black mustache. He shook my hand with both hands. You know what I mean? You shake with one hand and then cover the hand with another? I love that. I was ready to put my life in Rocky’s hands. He made me feel safe and said with complete confidence that he would have me ‘up and biking’ in 5 minutes. I thought to myself, I love Rocky.

We walked the bike to the side of the building. Rocky demonstrated how to ‘walk’ the bike, simultaneously holding onto the left handle and the seat. This will give you control of the bike, he said. He was right! What a master! How easy to move the bike around!

Rocky takes his job seriously. He said, “First, I will teach you how to get on the bike.” I smiled thinking, it’s been awhile since I rode – a long while – but I’m pretty confident I can figure out how to get on the dang thing. I giggled at his thoroughness, “I need a lesson about how to get on?” Rocky replied, “Yes, because you haven’t ridden in years and now you are old & you need to protect your back.” I hate Rocky.

Rocky demonstrated how you grip the handbrakes, tilt the bike toward you, step your right foot over to the other side, and then tilt the bike upright. I had to admit this was a pretty slick move.

“Now sit,” commanded Rocky. Matt had picked out a ‘nice comfortable seat’. What I wasn’t ready for was the shock absorbers my bike has. Gooosh. The bike sank a couple inches.

“Push forward on the foot pedal!” said Rocky giving me a little shove, “And…you’re ready to ride!” Errrrrrrrrttttt!!! I fell forward and looked at Rocky accusingly. “Sorry! Release the hand brakes!!! And……you’re ready to ride!!!” And indeed, unfettered by the brake, I was riding.

I. Was. Riding.
Me! On a bike!

Uh-oh. Too fast! I put my feet out in an instinctive Fred Flintstone move. Rocky came running. “Good!” he commented, “but this time try to incorporate using the handbrake to come to a stop.” Wisely he showed me which brake was for the front and back wheels.

I tried again. And again. I felt like I was getting the hang of this bike!

Rocky came up to me, “ Very good. Now, tell me, do you have any artificial limbs? Or corrective devices?” Apparently I was riding with my knees wide apart which resulted in a wobble so alarming he determined it must be due to a prosthetic leg. I assured him that no, these are indeed, for better or worse, my own legs, knees, and feet.

The coaching was constant. Keep your head up! Your knees together! Even more together! Shoulders down! Don’t forget to use the hand brake! Smile! he instructed. Again. And again. Finally Rocky was confident enough to pronounce me ready to go. I love Rocky.

My first few rides were torture. Who knew how hazardous biking was? Those gorgeous bike lanes I yearned to ride where fraught with risk. There’s a ball rolling toward me, a dog that’s not on a leash, a small child! Danger! There’s another bike coming RIGHT AT ME! So much to concentrate on…sitting upright, keeping my knees together… everything Rocky taught me echoing in my ears until Matt, looking over his shoulder from 20 yards down the road starts yelling, “Are you coming?!”

In spite of having to endure the embarrassment of having 5 and 6 year olds wait until I was done with my riding lesson and the enormous danger (OK, potential danger) of riding, I am enjoying the bike. The sun shining on my face and the feeling of the wind in my hair as my hands grip the handles so tightly I get muscle strain in my wrists and arms. That’s what it’s like after 30 years.

One last thing. If one more person comments on how easy it is to get back in the saddle, or says "it's like riding a bike..." I will have to hurt them.

Random Thoughts About Australia

2008-03-05T09:53:00.001+11:00

1. Greetings. When you say hello or goodbye to a woman, you kiss. On the cheek, mind you, and just once. A hug indicates you want to grope her and a handshake means you think she has a communicable disease.

2. Taxi Drivers. Taxi drivers fall into one of two sub-species: First, the South Asian Taxi Drivers, who usually don’t know where they are supposed to go (“Airport? Do you have an address?”) but they are always polite and quiet. Alternatively, there is the White Aussie Blabbermouth. These guys are hit or miss. Hit, and you get a hilarious monologue about the war, religion, politicians, J. Edgar Hoover (referred to as “J. Herbert Hoover” even if he is correctly identified him as the former head of the FBI), Nicole Kidman vs. Cate Blanchett (Cate always wins), “your redskin Indians”, poms (the English), the stupid fact punt returners call for the fair catch rather than run the ball back (yes, we are referring to American football here), and “You have no kids? Do you have medical problems? No? You should quit your job and you’ll get pregnant like THAT.” (snap fingers to emphasize “that”). Matt missed that last driver. On the other hand, the only people we have encountered who like George Bush are White Aussie Blabbermouth taxi drivers. Draw your own conclusions.

3. You’re nobody ‘til somebody loves you. In Australia you call your significant other your “partner”. Married, co-habitating, gay, lesbian, committed, sort of committed, roommate, flatmate – they are all a “partner”. In the US, partner means you’re either an attorney working in a law firm or you’re in an unmarried, committed same-sex relationship. Hmmm these people aren’t lawyers so they must all…ALL? Be gay...??

4. Kangaroos. Here is the real, unvarnished truth about kangaroos – Australia has no deer, so kangaroos fill the void. When in the country, you see them everywhere. They cause a lot of automotive damage. If you’re driving at dusk in the country you have to watch out as if you were in Northern Wisconsin at dusk. You see carcasses on the road. If you come across one when hiking, they will look at you with a dumb sort of suspicious look and then bound off. Any of this sound like deer? There is one difference between deer and roos – every fall, deer fear for their lives from unshaven, beer drinking, orange vest wearing, well armed humans. Roos? They never have to worry.

5. What day is it? In Australia they rearrange the dates the day is listed first so it’s DD/MM/YYYY rather than the US which is MM/DD/YYYY. Seems like this should be a minor thing, huh? I mean if you see a date that says 27/02/2008 you can figure it out, right? Because we don’t have 27 months. Easy. Well, I’m telling you, it’s not that easy. Imagine….it’s early morning and you put a spoonful of yogurt into your mouth and then you glance down at the date and it reads 01/04/2008 – is sort of freaks you out that you’re eating bad food…or are you…?

This One's For Mom

2008-02-19T16:41:00.003+11:00

Matt's Mom has been asking for a picture of our car, as she can't quite belive we have a station wagon. So here it is:

Marlys Does Her Detroit Auto Show Pose

Australia Day - January 26

2008-02-15T16:33:00.004+11:00

There is a stereotypical way to spend Australia Day:

1. Go to the beach.
2. Listen to “Home Among the Gum Trees” by country music legend John Williamson.
3. Have a barbie full of sausages (not a shrimp in sight unless you’re a real wanker).
4. Drink a few VBs (Victoria Bitter – a delicious lager).
5. Watch fireworks.

Most of Australia wakes up January 27 with a sunburn and a hangover.

We were actually in Oz for Australia Day in 2003. We were on a scuba diving trip and spent the day exploring the Great Barrier Reef. Very Australia, but not very Australian. This year, our co-worker Lucy invited us to her Mum’s farm in the Victoria bush (country) about 2.5 hours from Melbourne. Knowing Lucy is loads of fun and secretly hoping for a “real” Australia Day experience, we accepted.

First thing you notice after arriving at Fay's (Lucy's Mum) the farm is the sculpture in the yard, in the house, on the road, in the trees, etc. Second thing you notice is the animals. She had cows, sheep, chickens, a turkey named ‘gobbles’, a cockatoo, two snakes, 2 sugar gliders (little marsupials like flying squirrels) and three lizards. I’m sure I’m forgetting something.

View of the Valley

Australia Day rose sunny and hot. Lucy, her boyfriend Luke, Sarah (co-worker) and her boyfriend Justin, and we headed down to 90 Mile Beach (Stereotype #1: check). 90-Mile Beach is not an exaggeration. It really is 90 miles long, and from where we accessed all you could see was sand, dunes, and roaring, rolling surf until it faded into a mist in the distance. A beautiful sight. We slapped on the sun cream, spread out our towels, dove in the surf, collected a few shells, and had spent a few hours getting roasted. January seemed a long, long way away.

On the Beach

After the beach it was back to the farm where, lo and behold, a John Williamson CD was playing (stereotype #2: done). You’ll never hear him in the sates, but he’s sort of the voice of rural Australia and sings all about the small towns and country life - sort of like a musical Garrison Keillor. Anyway, once Fay found out we liked his music; it was three days of old JW.

After removing the sand from our bodies, we decided to get out the .22s and take a little target practice. Currently, one of Australia’s famous cricketers (Shane Warne, if that means anything to any of our readers) has his face plastered on the side of a case of VB, and around him there are concentric circles, so it makes an excellent target. We plinked away with the 22s and then Luke got out his high caliber rifle…cannon, really.

When it was Matt’s turn to shoot he forgot he was no longer using a 22. After taking careful aim, he squeezed the trigger – BAM! - and saw stars. The recoil put the scope into his noggin at high velocity and there was blood everywhere. Luckily, 'tis but a flesh wound and a band aid or two staunched the bleeding. Warnie got it in the breastbone on that shot, by the way.

Head Wound

After the excitement, we pulled out the barbie and loaded it up with meat: steaks, hamburgers, and snags (sausages). And we drank a VB or two. (Stereotypes #3 and #4: check and check)

Matt, Marlys, Lucy, Luke, Sarah & Justin

To top the night off, there was a thunderstorm in the valley Fay’s farm overlooks. We could watch the lightning strikes off in the distance and see the clouds flash with color. Quite the light show for the visitors and it qualified as natural fireworks (stereotype #5: check). We had achieved a real, honest to goodness Australia Day.

Weekend in Sydney

2008-01-24T17:37:00.001+11:00

For those of you inured to the American domestic airline system, here is what happened on our one hour discount economy coach flight from Melbourne to Sydney. For those of you residing in Minneapolis-St Paul, this flight is equivalent to a trip to Chicago. First, they served dinner. Not just a pretzel bag that you only get in US business class (although we got that too), but a real hot dinner with rolls, tray wrapped tin, etc. Now I never liked airline food and still don’t, but still – not a US coach experience. Next, there was free alcohol. No five dollar beer, but instead a can of beer or bottle of wine, gratis. Finally, there were headsets with a television show (daily news + a .5 hour comedy) and 8 radio channels. Little things all, and we can certainly do without them on such a short trip, but what a pleasant change of pace. Oh, did we mention security takes about 1 minute and there’s no “put your 3 oz. bottle of shampoo in a baggie and run through security xray” rule? We’re planning to bring a big jug of shampoo in our carry on bags next time…just because we can.

After a pleasant flight, Sydney was a rude awakening. We’ve been there a few times in January -- each time there was glorious hot sun. Not so now. The rain gods caught up with us and it rained steadily all weekend. With the drought, you can’t really complain about rain, but couldn’t they have held off until next week?

The first night we headed to the Rocks section of Sydney for dinner at Pony’s. delicious Tapas style food. The restaurant also had free entertainment -- in the form of the two drunk women next to us. They were so inebriated, the server cut them off – which they did not take very well, causing one of them to roar “I’ve been drinking all day, so how can I be too drunk now?” Good to see an Aussie on holiday can make an ass out of herself as well as the next person.

Saturday was spent dodging rain and going to the Sydney museum – small collection but a lot of cool information about the city and its history. There was an excellent exhibit dedicated to Sydney photographers who have documented their impressions of the city.

Marlys & Dave

That night we headed to Shangri La hotel bar on the 34th floor - spectacular (but grey) views of the harbor! We were joined by Dave, Monica (PDI co-workers – Dave’s in from Brussels and Monica works in the Sydney office) and Monica’s partner Wazza. (Wazza is short for Warwick – some day I’ll explain Aussie nickname rules). After drinking in the views (and the champagne) we headed to Darling Harbor for good food and great fun with new friends.

After Sunday brunch on Circular Quay (the heart of Sydney with views of the Harbor Bridge and Opera House) we took advantage of the clearing weather to head to our absolute favorite Sydney to-do: the ferry to Manly and then a few hours lazing on Manly beach. All was well at first, but after 30 minutes it started to mist, then drizzle, then rain, and then a full scale downpour. We had brought a little umbrella with us, but unfortunately Marlys had also brought her leather purse. So as everyone but the surfers abandoned the beach, we sat under our little umbrella, guarding her bag from the rain and getting ourselves soaked in the process. Funny thing was, after 20 minutes of torrential rain, the clouds opened up and the sun came out and we enjoyed a beautiful hot beach day the rest of the afternoon.

That’s it for Sydney. This weekend is Australia Day – which is the antipodean Fourth of July - so another long weekend for us. We are spending it at the family farm of a co-worker, which is located in a gorgeous area of Victoria called Wilson’s Prom (it's the bush). We anticipate cricket on the beach, hiking in the rain forest and barbies for three days. Just like all the Januarys back in Minnesota.

New Years Resolution

2008-01-17T10:08:00.000+11:00

We have a joint New Year's resolution to post on the blog more often this year, so expect more frequent but shorter updates - at least until about mid-February, if success on past resolutions is any indication.

We are back in Melbourne. Marlys arrived on the 8th, Matt the 15th. Marlys came by way of Los Angeles, where she spent a day of beauty with our friend Anne. Matt came by way of Las Vegas, where he spend a weekend of (minor) debauchery with friends from law school. Needless to say, Marlys arrived fresh, Matt not so much.

The last two days we've been to the Australian Open after work. They have a deal where you buy a 5 day grounds pass that gets you into everything except the main arena. In the early rounds this is a great deal because the stars play on the side courts and you can watch them close up. And for those of you who think tennis is a gentlemanly sport, fans were so rowdy Tuesday night the police came in and used pepper spray on some of them. Watch out soccer hooligans, the fuzzball fans are here to kick ass!

Our friend Dave is in Oz for a much deserved vacation and, in addition to hitting the tennis with us, he and Marlys toured some wineries last weekend. He's in Sydney now and we are going to spend the weekend there with him.

Back in Minnesota

2008-01-01T02:15:00.000+11:00

We love Minnesota at Christmas time, especially when there is snow on the ground. We were fortunate enough to have all Matt's family together for the day - and guess who is wearing the red suit?

Since things have been a little too hectic for a card this year - Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all!

Much love, M&M

PS: High today in Melbourne: 104

Time to Go

2007-12-18T11:44:00.000+11:00

We're returning to the US for a few weeks tomorrow, and not a moment too soon. In addition to the obvious (holidays, family, work, etc) here's 11 (true) reasons why we know we've been in Australia too long:

1. You watch a movie and idly notice the people are driving on the wrong side of the road. Then you realize in America they are actually driving on the correct side of the road.

2. You ask the receptionist for today’s newspaper, and when she inquires why you want it, you respond you just want to check the TV section "to see what time the cricket is on.”

3. “No worries” becomes your most common response to any request whatsoever.

4. You complain about the fact Yarra trams is raising fares and (1) feel justified complaining about the level of service and (2) express this by saying “the tram is still too bloody packed during peak hours”.

5. Someone says they have been to Brissie, the territries, or OS and you know where they went.

6. You know which national teams are the Boomers, the Kookaburras, the Tall Blacks, the Black Caps, the Wallabies, and the Matildas.

7. You voice an opinion on the whole Ben Cousins situation.

8. You unthinkingly type “u” in words like harbour, endeavour, colour, etc.

9. You can guess Melbourne’s reservoir water reserves within a tenth of a decimal point.

10. The old, Italian gentleman at Nick’s barista counter gets you your large, take-away flat white without asking for your order.

11. You ask your spouse if your outfit makes you “…look like a daggy bogan?”

Matt & Justin Timberlake - One Degree of Separation

2007-11-20T15:47:00.000+11:00

On a weekend day in September, Matt was walking down the street in our quiet little neighborhood. Suddenly Matt heard a fluttering whoosh in his right ear and felt a bump on his shoulder. He flinched and, looking up, saw a bird flying away from him. “That’s odd”, he thought. “It’s almost like that magpie attacked me.” (Important note for nieces and nephews: a magpie is a non-poisonous bird. Yes, not all wildlife is deadly here). Continuing on his way, Matt made it about another ten yards when the same thing happened. Whoosh – thump! And the magpie flew up to perch on a tram cable.

Visions of Tippi Hendren and “The Birds” now flashed through his mind. Matt picked up the pace, turning to look over his shoulder at that damn magpie every few seconds. It remained on its tram line perch, staring straight at Matt and no doubt considering another dive bomb attack.

Arriving home, Matt relayed his avian encounter to Marlys. She politely listened and then, with a look in her eyes that said “I don’t believe a word of this baloney”, asked what he wanted for dinner.

Ahh, but vindication was close at hand. The very next week, there was an article in the “50/50” section of the local paper – 505/50 is Melbourne’s answer to the St. Paul Pioneer Press’ “Sainted and Tainted” column, without the passive aggressiveness. In one of the day’s rants an older gent complained about “magpie culling” - apparently animal control was out culling a few magpie because they were swooping people, and the old-timer thought this just proved true Aussies aren’t what they used to be. “In my day, no child would complain if they were swooped by a few magpies this time of year. It was part of living in the bush”. (Actual quote).

Intrigued by the idea of bird attacks, Matt later dug up this article from the park service:

http://www.nationalparks.nsw.gov.au/npws.nsf/Content/The+Australian+magpie

For those of you too busy to read the link, here are a few tips if a magpie swoops at you:
* Walk quickly and carefully away from the area, and avoid walking there when magpies are swooping. M&M - OK, we get this. Number One - Get OUT!
* Make a temporary sign to warn other people. M&M - sounds like a contradiction to rule #1. Do we leave, go get paper, colorful markers, create a sign, and then go BACK to the attack zone and leave a sign??
* Magpies are less likely to swoop if you look at them. Try to keep an eye on the magpie, at the same time walking carefully away. M&M - this would have been helpful information to add at rule #1. Alternatively, you can draw or sew a pair of eyes onto the back of a hat, and wear it when walking through the area. M&M - hmmmm. OK, so, seems to me the park service is having a little fun here. "Let's see what sort of goofy things we can get people to do... I know, let's have them sew buttons on their hats!"
* Wear a bicycle or skateboard helmet. Any sort of hat, even a hat made from an ice cream container or cardboard box, will help protect you. M&M - we are now envisioning the park service people screaming with laughter as they write out their 'dos and don'ts'. It's not enough to get people to sew buttons on their hats -- let's get them to fashion a ridiculous hat from an ice cream container or look like a weirdo wearing cardboard box as you walk around town. I think wearing a container or box on my head would deter more than a bunch of birds. We're trying to make friends in this town for crying out loud!
* Carry an open umbrella, or a stick or small branch, above your head but do not swing it at the magpie, as this will only provoke it to attack. M&M - what good is carrying a small branch if you don't get to use it?? If a park ranger stops you, don't you think the first thing THEY'LL think is that you ARE swinging it at the birds...?
* If you are riding a bicycle when the magpie swoops, get off the bicycle and wheel it quickly through the area. Your bicycle helmet will protect your head, and you can attach a tall red safety flag to your bicycle or hold a stick or branch as a deterrent. M&M - ahhhh, the combo approach! helmet? check! Stick? check! getting out of the area quickly? check! Although isn't this tip a bit flawed? I mean if you're supposed to get out of the area, wouldn't it be smarter to stay ON the bike? How can you wheel the bike and carry a small branch over your head at the same time? and what about keeping your eye on the magpie? seems to me you should wheel the bike away backwards, right? and of course, don't forget to return later...warning sign in hand.

In sum, yet another Australian animal is dangerous to humans – at least part of the year.

So what on earth does this have to do with the one and only JT? Well, he’s on tour in Oz and when asked in an interview about his thoughts on Australia he let slip his scariest moment was when he was attacked by magpies. He went on for about 2 minutes describing his magpie attack (Matt shuddered in recognition). We’ll say this for the magpies - they attack without respect for money or celebrity. How very Aussie.

If you’re here in September, here’s what to look out for:

"Nevermore. Nevermore"

Melbourne Cup

2007-11-09T13:33:00.000+11:00

Tuesday was a state holiday: Cup Day. Yes, this is a country that gives you a day off just for a horse race. In 1895 Mark Twain visited the Melbourne Cup and said "Nowhere in the world have I encountered a festival of people that has such a magnificent appeal to the whole nation. The Cup astonishes me." Like our fellow Midwesterner, we were astonished by the pageantry of the Cup.

The Melbourne Cup is Australia's most famous racing event. It's been a public holiday since the 1870s and Flemington track usually has up to 150,000 people attending. Its very much a cocktail party atmosphere - champagne and canapés, huge hats and racetrack fashions, (there is a dress code - men need to be in jackets/ties, etc.) and, of course, horses, jockeys, and gambling.
It was all very, very posh and the pictures really won’t do the outfits justice. Everyone was dressed to the nines, and every woman had a hat. Or a “fascinator” in their hair. We never saw so many well dressed people in one place in our life. The woman we work with who organized our party procured a spot at a location called “The Rails”, which is normally a parking lot right alongside the track but for the Cup becomes one of the more exclusive areas for parties. We could sit in our chairs, drink champagne, eat hors d’oeuvres, and watch the horses thunder by.

Behind the Rails was “the Birdcage”, which is where the giant hospitality tents are located. Directly behind our party was the Emirates Airline tent, although to call it a “tent” is like calling the Taj Mahal a “tomb”. Amazing what lots and lots of oil money can do. Emirates is the main sponsor of the race (it’s officially the “Emirates Melbourne Cup”), so their tent is where all the TV crews and celebrities hang out. “Celebrity" in this case means "Australian celebrity", which to us Yanks really means "Who?". The only one we knew was Carson Kressley - he of “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” – who judged the fashion show between races.

As for the gambling, we made ten bets and lost all but one. Luckily that one win was a 16 to 1 long shot so it made up for all the losses and then some. In addition, Matt’s horse for the big race finished dead last, so he actually collected a few bucks from the office pool.

Entrance to Flemington

The Two of Us All "Frocked Up"

Tilly, Emily and Mark Showing Off Their Race Day Fashions

Marlys, Dom and Rearn

Matt and Anthea

And Now, Back to our Regularly Scheduled Program

2007-11-08T12:21:00.000+11:00

Our apologies to the multitudes who have waited with baited breath for the next thrilling installment of AlianTravels. The dearth of posts was due to Matt’s return to the States for a few weeks, which meant very little time for either of us to blog about Oz.

In the interim our stuff arrived. Hey, it was only four weeks late, but at least very few things were broken. As Matt was living the high life in Minnesota, Marlys got to spend some quality alone time with 65 boxes, a bed that just wouldn’t put itself together, and piles and piles of clothes that required laundering and ironing. But we’re finally moved in, more or less, and read for guests!

To celebrate Matt’s return we drove up and into the Yarra Ranges Park to do some hiking, see the waterfalls, and get some fresh mountain air. One highlight was the mountain ash trees (they’re actually a variety of eucalyptus), which can grow to 200 feet tall. It’s like driving through the redwood forests, although in fairness the ashes are usually thinner than redwoods. Interesting fact: mountain ashes are agoraphobic. If two ashes grow close together, they will shed branches so they don’t touch. So in the forests, the trunks go up for 100 feet before there is any canopy. On the other hand, if an ash grows alone, it will have branches at all levels.

Road Through the Park

When Matt was in Minnesota the third most frequent question he was asked was: “Have you seen a kangaroo yet?” Embarrassed by the fact he always had to answer “no”, we resolved to see all the wildlife we could as soon as possible, and so on the way back into town we stopped at the Healesville Animal Sanctuary. For those of you coming to visit with kids, this is a must see location. It is a wonderful place, not at all zoo like, and the following is a non-exhaustive list of Australian fauna we observed:

Kangaroo

Emu (on left)
Tasmanian Devil

Koala

And also Echidna, Wallaby, Platypus , Wombat, Dingo, Flying Foxes (HUGE bats), and dozens of exotic birds.

Aussie Speak

2007-10-24T14:28:00.000+10:00

It’s the slang that will get you in Melbourne. Aussie Slang, or “Strine” as it’s sometimes called, is said to be a reflection of the harsh Australian land and the no-nonsense "let’s get on with it" attitude of the people. Some say the slang -- and the accent in particular -- came about because people had to learn to talk while keeping their mouths open as little as possible because of the flies. In fact, the term “Aussie salute” means to brush away flies with the hand. A person who has a strong accent and uses a lot of slang is said to talk real “ocker”.

You learn easy slang like ‘G’day’, ‘no worries’, and ‘mate’ and you think you’re set. But then the next day someone is telling a story dripping with slang and people are crying because they are laughing so hard and you’re sitting there…. just not quite getting the joke…you look like an idiot.

If it’s not the slang, it’s the accent. You know the word exactly but it’s how they’re pronouncing it that you can’t quite pick up -- so you look like an idiot.

I was in a meeting with a consultant and he told me one of our client contacts was in charge of procurement and SLAs.
“Essellays?” I asked, “I’m not familiar with that term – is it Australian?”
“SLA?” came the reply, “isn’t that fairly standard globally?”
“Um.” I respond nonchalantly -- I want to ensure I come off as internationally attentive to my new colleague, “say it again… the term is “essellays”?”
“Yes. S-L-A. Service Level Agreements.”
“Oh. S-L-A. Yep. I know that.”
“Uh-huh.”
These people think I’m an idiot.

Another day I went to meet with our finance person to discuss Melbourne accounting processes. I sat at her desk across from her – between us were papers, files, and other work. She pushed aside the papers and moved some folders and said,
“Here, let me clear you some farting room.”
“Excuse me?” I asked
“I just want to move my work so you have some farting room.”
“I’m sorry…some farting room?” I pronounce “farting” the way she did – more like “faah-ting”.
She nodded. “Don’t you fancy a bit of “faah-ting room”?”
“Um.” I look around as if I’m going to find an appropriate answer in the Xerox printer or the florescent lighting.
I grab a piece of paper and write the word, F-A-R-T-I-N-G and hand it to her.
“Are you saying, “farting”? You want me to have some farting room?”
I ask in my flat, nasally American accent.
Her head snaps back in laughter. Now her head nods forward. She pounds the desk (and my farting room) with her fist. She can’t speak. I look at her mutely. She gasps….more fist pounding… shaking her head she grabs the piece of paper and writes out:
F-I-G-H-T-I-N-G
“Fighting room? As in elbow room? That’s what you’re trying to say?”
She nods. Tears streaming down her delighted face.

Tassie Trip Tales

2007-10-09T13:18:00.000+10:00

Australians call Tasmania “Tassie”, which rhymes with “lassie”, not “snazzy”. Linguists would likely refer to this construction as typical of the “Australian diminutive”. Other examples: they call breakfast “breakie”, Hells Angels are called “bikies”, men with a half set of teeth and diesel breath are “truckies”, and their back teeth are “chompies”. OK, I made up the last one.

But I digress. We have been either working, saying good bye, or relocating seven days a week for several months, and we realized the only way we would actually wind down was to take off for a couple days and get away from everything. After checking on the cheapest weekend flights anywhere in Australia, Hobart, the capital of Tasmania, clocked in at the cheapest and so that’s where we were off to. This is not our “Tasmania trip”. We heard you need a minimum of a week (in fact closer to 2-3 weeks) to see Tasmania and our experience definitely confirmed this advice. We just needed to get out of town and see a little of our new country.

Vacation starts early: we had to be up by 4:30 AM Saturday to get to the Skybus to the airport in time to catch our 6:45 flight. We flew Jetstar, which is Qantas’ low cost airline. Planes reminded me of Sun Country, right down to the leather seats and orange colors. Flight was uneventful for, oh, the first 10 minutes. Then a guy two rows behind us had a heart attack. While the crew and a doctor-passenger were attending to him, another passenger had a heart attack about 10 rows in front of us. There was running, screaming, and multiple oxygen tanks but no beverage/ food service. Despite hundreds of flights between us we have never experienced an in-flight medical emergency – but the odds decided to catch up all at once. The good thing about the flight to Hobart is it’s only 45 minutes in the air, so the fastest course of action was to keep flying. When we landed the EMTs came on, but everyone looked pretty casual and they let us off right away, so my guess is the two people are OK. In all honesty, hats off to Jetstar for handling it all so well.

One things every guidebook says to do in Hobart is go to the Salamanca Market on the harbor, which is held each Saturday morning. Lucky for us our hotel was right on Salamanca Place, so after dropping bags we were right there. The market was pretty cool – lots of local artwork, especially carved wood products. Flying over Tasmania the first thing you notice is how heavily forested it is, and at the market you realize they’ve figured out how to create beautiful everyday items out of all the different trees.

Guidebooks describe Salamanca Market as "funky". Presumably they say that because of the arts and crafts, although as we sat in an outdoor pub and watched the organic food stand yards away, the odors were not just of the apples and locally grown vegetables. Apparently the rejection of pesticides and caged fowl also involves the rejection of such capitalist tools as soap and combs.

We also tried a local specialty: curry scallop pies. Matt verdict: delicious! Marlys verdict: disgusting!

After a few hours at the market it was time for lunch so we took friends’ advice and went to the floating fish shops. In the harbor there are 6 boats tied up, each one with a walk up window and a menu for takeaway. We chose the one called “Flippers”. Marlys, a bit gun shy after the scallop pie episode, stayed with fish and chips. Matt went with the “Bag of Treats”: two each of scallop, crab, garlic prawn, prawn cutlet, calamari, and “seafood bites”, which as near as we can tell is a sort of aquatic mystery meat.

We needed to walk all the food so we went up to the Botanical Gardens, about a mile and half away. When I say up, I mean that literally – from harbor to garden that is the only direction. The gardens were so-so. There are some beautiful areas, but it is still early spring so a lot of blooms and flowers aren’t out yet. The tulips were gorgeous and there were great views of the Derwent River and ocean.

When it was time to leave, we were tired of walking so we went to catch the bus back to town. Interestingly, during the two hours spent at the garden they put up a sign at the bus stop saying, in effect, “This bus line shuts down forever at 5 PM today.” We were there at 4:55 and were a little concerned, as we were a little tired and didn’t relish the though of walking back to town with night falling and the temperatures dipping (despite being down hill). Luckily, the very last bus ever (they were quite clear about this) showed up and because we were the only ones on board, we had the honor of being the last two people to ride it. Ever. As his only passengers, the driver spent the whole ride looking back and talking to us as he careened back down to the harbor area. Helpful travel hint for those of you going to Hobart in the future: if your guidebook says take the #18 to or from the Botanical Gardens – it’s out of date.

Leaving the bus alive we decided to go to Australia’s oldest pub, the Hope and Anchor, which opened in 1807. A pub the guidebooks say is ‘not to be missed’. Well, we missed it. The Hope and Anchor is now without hope - there was a simple printed sign saying “closed” on every window. Disappointed, we walked a block to Montgomery Hotel for our pint (nb: In Australia there are hotels and there are hotels. I’ll explain the difference one of these days). While having our Cascade Premium (brewed in Hobart) someone came in and announced the Myers store was on fire.

Myers is the Australian equivalent to Macy’s. There is one downtown in every major city, and they are true department stores. The one in Hobart was in an 1836 building and apparently quite beautiful. I say “apparently” because the day we were there it burned to the ground. We never went closer than a few blocks to it, but could see the flames roaring above the (admittedly rather low-rise) Hobart skyline. It was still going the next morning.

That night we went to a fabulous Indian place called Annapurna for dinner. All the books said try it and they were right about this one.

To sum up: two heart attacks, one bus line closed down, the oldest pub in Australia shuttered, the Myers burned to the ground. All in all, a good first day in Tassie.

On Sunday we took a trip to Port Arthur, which is about 100km from Hobart down the Tasman peninsula. It was a gorgeous drive, although there was maybe 100m of straight highway. There were magnificent cliffs overlooking the Tasman Sea (next stop, New Zealand) and endless bays and wooded fjords.

Port Arthur was created to house two time convicts or reoffenders. If you were “transported” (which is what the Brits called being sentenced to Australia) and then committed further crimes once here, you were likely to be sent to Port Arthur. It is an absolutely beautiful location, and after it was abandoned in the late 1800s the bushfires burned a lot of the buildings, so now the site is mostly these ghostly ruins. You walk through a church or penitentiary with all of its walls but open to the skies.

We were there for about 5 hours and it was not enough time. The museum has an excellent program on transportation (in the British penal sense), and there are guides and plaques all over the place explaining the various remaining buildings and there purposes. The most chilling building (and there were a few contenders) was the “Secondary Prison”, which was a silent prison. No one could talk, guards included, the convicts had to wear masks over their faces so other prisoners could not see their faces or communicate, and the guards even wore felt shoes to dampen any noise. The chapel, where prisoners spent a few mandatory hours each Sunday, was constructed so prisoners were each in their own box seat and could not see anyone else except the minister. The amount of thought and engineering that went into creating the absolute sense isolation was considerable – and apparently a lot of inmates went insane from the solitude. We could understand why.

Second eeriest place was the island cemetery. When prisoners, guards, wardens, or their families died, they were rowed out to this tiny island about 100m from shore called “the isle of the dead”. The prisoners were almost all buried in unmarked graves, and the island is chock a block with gravesites. You can’t help but walk over them.

While Port Arthur was shut down as a prison, it has still had a tragic history. In 1996, a lunatic showed up with several automatic rifles and killed 35 visitors and staff and wounded 37 others at the site. If you ever read a news report it is an absolutely chilling story. As a result, Australia went from some of the loosest to some of the most stringent gun control laws in the world. They have turned the café, where 20 of the people died, into a memorial garden. It is a very sobering place. There is almost nothing in the official brochures about the massacre (as everyone refers to it) other than to describe the location of the memorial garden and ask people not to query staff about the event – many of them lost friends or family that day. The web site does retell the story under history > 28 April 1996.

After retuning to Hobart we went to Mure’s. This harbor restaurant has great views and supposedly the best seafood in town. It did not disappoint. We ate some of the best fish we have ever had and, considering the quality and service, it was inexpensive too!

Monday was not such a good day. We found out about Lisa’s passing in the middle of the night, so neither of us felt especially excited to be on vacation. We went to the Tasmanian Museum to see their exhibit on Antarctica because most Australian research on the continent is done out of Tassie. Unfortunately, the exhibit was closed that day (see a theme to our trip?). Then it started to rain a bit and so we just spend a few hours sitting in a pub reading.

A flight, a skybus and we were back in bed by 9 that night.

A few final random notes about Hobart:

Cost: fairly cheap, especially when compared with Melbourne
Vibe: arty/organic/outdoorsy/nautical (Taos meets Sedona meets Boulder meets Mystic, CT)
Locals: very laid back and friendly
Definite to dos: boat chippies, Mure’s, Port Arthur, any of the countryside

A Home of Our Own

2007-10-03T11:06:00.000+10:00

We moved in to our new place this weekend. It’s a 2.5 bedroom apartment with a bit of an ocean view (Port Philip Bay). By that I mean we can see the bay from one of our windows, and have a million dollar view of sunsets over the bay if we walk out the front gate.

The move itself went well – we just filled up the Commodore and headed over. Unfortunately, we are still awaiting our furniture from the States, which apparently took a left turn at Vanuatu and is now arriving in late October. So we had to quickly buy a few pieces to tide us over until it arrives. Marlys made three trips to IKEA to secure a bed, table and four chairs. It was delivered on time, but then came the pleasure of putting it all together. True to its reputation, IKEA is a chore to assemble. After cursing IKEA, Sweden and Swedes (not you, Jean, or anyone <51% Swedish), the furniture was able to stand on its own. Add the delivery of refrigerator, washer/ dryer, microwave, TV, etc. and we have a semblance of a home.

Of course, any home is not without its quirks. In the first two days, the hot water went out twice. Looking on the positive side, this has given us the opportunity to meet the landlord/ owner/upstairs neighbor, Mick. Nice guy and 101% Aussie, so he is friendly and helpful. All seems well now, although Matt says a novena before every shower.

On a more entertaining note, the woman who lives downstairs wanted to play her music LOUD on Sunday night. We found this interesting especially as we were vetted for the apartment it was stressed that this was a quiet building and priority would be given to quiet tenants. Loud music wasn’t enough -- after playing the same song three times -- our neighbor decided she also wanted to "sing". At this point Matt reached for the earplugs. The music selection (which had a promising start) quickly took a downward spiral when she followed up Johnny Cash's Ring of Fire with the theme to ”St Elmo’s Fire”. Matt threw down his paper, pulled out the earplugs, and stomped off to introduce himself. Marlys heard Matt "knock", muffled talking, and then a considerable drop in decibels. Moments later a completely calm and even laughing Matt returned. Our neighbor - and Matt’s new friend - answered the door in a T-shirt and underwear (black). After promising to turn things down, she asked Matt to, "come on in and let's be mates". Her speech was a bit slurry, so Matt is giving her the benefit of the doubt and assuming she was using “mate” in the Australian sense, not the biological sense.

The next day we noticed our courtyard DOES look a little like the one on Melrose Place.

Matt has also been practicing his wrong side of the road driving. As yet, body count remains zero.

Yes, we know we have yet to post something on our Tasmania trip. We promise it is coming.

Sad News From a Distance

2007-10-01T14:38:00.000+10:00

Friends and family –

With disbelieving minds and heavy hearts we announce the sudden and unexpected passing of our sister-in-law, Lisa. It is very early in our move to realize the consequences of being half the world away. We expected to miss happy hours, parties, birthdays, hockey games, school concerts, and reunions. We knew our nieces and nephews would lose baby teeth, learn to walk, and grow tall. We were not so naïve to know that we would miss funerals of loved ones...but we did not expect this....

Lisa was a wife, mother, sister, grandmother, sister-in-law, aunt, daughter-in-law, and daughter. She and Tim had a long and happy marriage and three amazing kids – now young adults. Lisa was thrilling at the fact that a second grandchild – due this December – was on the way. To Matt, she was a co-conspirator – a fellow “outlaw” – the two banded together during family reunions and laughed at the Aukee quirks. To Marlys she was a friend and confidant.

Many thanks to those who have reached across the miles with words of condolence and caring. Your messages have given us great comfort. We have conveyed your thoughts and words to Tim and family, and it has brought them some solace as well.

We will miss Lisa very much.

Some people come into our lives and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never ever the same.-- Flavia Weedn

Clear The Roads

2007-09-25T16:57:00.000+10:00

We now have a vehicle. Being two relatively well off, relatively young, childless, cultured, fun loving people, what kind of car do you think we bought?

If you guessed a used station wagon, you get a gold star.

Marlys and I are the proud owners of a 2001 Holden Commodore station wagon. We are taking unsexy transportation to a whole new level. The Commodore (or "Commode") is the highest selling car in Australia, and the term "basic transportation" springs to mind when viewing or driving it. On the upside, it has plenty of room for visitors and their luggage, is cheap to insure and operate, and can take a lot of incidental contact. The two points being critical when you haven't driven on left hand of the road since 1994.

On our first driving experience, we picked up the car at Jen and John's house on Friday night. John, who owns a car business, had made sure we didn't end up with a lemon and got us a very good deal. We had a couple drinks with them: champagne for Marlys to calm her nerves, water for Matt so he would be an alert driver. Suitably prepared, we headed to the car, where Jen then got on her knees and said a few prayers (wish we had a picture of that). Then off we go.

No problem. Driving on the left is actually fairly easy when there is traffic and you know where you are going. You just follow everyone else and plan your turns. Marlys and Jen had plotted a course to our apartment from their house on Melways, and we had a highlighted path with the fewest number of possible turns all laid out.

There is still entertainment value galore. The wipers and turn signal switches are reversed, so Marlys knows when Matt wants to turn left because he turns on wipers. And it took Matt quite a while to realize there is a rear view mirror up and to the left.

Of course, we couldn't have a totally uneventful trip. We did luck out and get caught up in a sobriety check point. Thanks his exhibition of caution earlier in the night, Matt passed with flying colors in his first encounter with Melbourne's finest. We finally parked the car at our apartment, from whence it has not subsequently moved, and immediately repaired to our new local pub for a nice big VB.

We're waiting for traffic to die down to nothing before venturing forth again. I think Saturday at 5 AM. I'm sure our neighbors think we are odd - we have a car in our parking space, but no gas, electricity, furniture or fixtures in our apartment. They have a mighty expensive parking plan, those Yanks.

Next up: trip to Tasmania.

Let's just give photos a try, shall we?

2007-09-13T16:07:00.000+10:00

Number One complaint about our blog? No pictures. We do have a camera but there are issues for the moment. That said, the text only version is so 1995 so here are some pictures of Australian animals to tide everyone over. All pictures (c) our friend Lucy and her mum.

1. Denny the Wombat. They had a pet wombat for a year or so. He apparently wandered into their farm one day so they kept and fed him for a while. Eventually he re-introduced himself to the wild.

2. Lizard (duh). This one's for Jared.

3. The Cockatoo. Or "Cockies", as they call them.

All Caught Up

2007-09-10T09:11:00.000+10:00

Sorry to be so behind on what’s up down under. This should catch you up to the present date.

Last weekend (September 1 and 2) the Melbourne Angel (aka Jen from work) gave us a driving tour of a bunch of neighborhoods in Melbourne. We decided we want to live closer to the CBD (Central Business District = downtown) so we can rely on public transit most of the time and not spend a lot of time commuting. So the 3 hour tour (Matt was Gilligan, Marlys was Mary Ann) was intended to give us an idea of some different places to live. After that Jen and her husband John had us over to their (beautiful) house for appetizers, and then we went out to a Chinese restaurant (the Tea House on Burke) in Camberwell, which is the suburb where they live. There was a fantastic tasting menu at only A$50 per person and for entertainment there was a big Chinese group celebrating something and they were all doing horrid karaoke.

We started off our Sunday (Father’s Day in Australia) by heading to church at St. John’s Lutheran in Southgate, which as far as we can reckon is the closest Lutheran church. And were we in luck. Once a month they have music students from local colleges perform Bach cantatas, so instead of a sermon there was a half hour or so of chorale music. It was beautiful. Gladys and Martha, you would have been in heaven. The pastor at St John’s is originally from Saginaw, MI, although he’s lived in Oz for 30+ years. It’s funny, he still doesn’t have much of an Aussie accent, but his speech is all Australian in terms of phrases, slang, etc. Does that make sense?

We then went to the Queen Victoria Market, which is the other, bigger market in central Melbourne. It’s much more than a farmer’s market (although it has a huge “fruit & veg” section, including tons of organics), with lots of specialty foods, meats and fish, clothes, Australiana, etc. I can see we are going to head there a lot. Matt then spent a couple hours looking at apartments in the Docklands area, which served mainly to confirm we do not want to live there. Docklands is a redeveloped area just west of the CBD full of new high rise apartment buildings. While it’s very close to work, clean, new and full of trendy restaurants, it’s too impersonal for us and doesn’t feel like a neighborhood.

Monday was not a holiday because Australia’s Labor Day is in October. And even then we don’t get the day off. But it was a big day for us nevertheless. With our possessions on their way across the Pacific and the clock ticking down on our temp apartment, we intensified the quest for our new home. We searched all the advertisements online and from the weekend papers and on Monday made a ton of calls. Unfortunately, we started getting two answers from estate agents:
(1) apartment was already let .
(2) it would be available in October.

Because the market for apartments is very tight, agents don’t feel the need to work particularly hard. Most “inspections” or apartment viewings are once a week for 15 minutes. Imagine 70 people waiting to walk around a tiny apartment counting the electrical outlets, checking out the views, and flushing the toilet. We talked to one agent about setting up an inspection – they said we could view the apartment but we would have to go to her office in Elwood (southern suburb), leave a deposit, pick up the keys, turn around and go back to visit the apartment in Albert Park (which is halfway between the CBD and Elwood), let ourselves in, take a look, and then reverse the process. She couldn’t be bothered to meet us there so we took a pass.

The good news: we loved the first one we viewed on Monday. It is on Beaconsfield Parade, which runs along the beach in the neighborhoods of Albert Park and Middle Park. The building was built in the 1930s and is sort of a Chicago three flat with a beach feel, if that makes sense. The apartment has 2 bedrooms (room for you, dear reader!!), is spacious, and is in the back of the building so while we have the most minimal of ocean views, we don’t have the noise from traffic on the road. Apparently it can be busy in summer.

There is also great access to two tram lines so it is 15-25 minutes to work on the tram depending on traffic. At the further stop there is a neighborhood center with cafes, bike shop, grocery, etc. It reminds me of the Linden el stop from when we were kids. Don’t worry Rosy - the newsagent is a clean cut looking South Asian immigrant. Martha – don’t call in a raid!

Rick, the letting agent, was very patient with us, answering all our questions about renting in Australia, which were no doubt a little basic for him. We put in our application and waited for a response. On Wednesday, just as we were placing more calls to other agents, we got the good news: the place is ours! Our lease starts the 15th, although I think we will be more likely to move in towards the end of the month when our stuff arrives. So we have a few more weeks of room service in us. Such a tragedy.

On Friday 6 Sept, we went out to dinner at the Mail Order Office with Marlys’ boss, who was in from Hong Kong for meetings with the Australian teams. Going to the MOO (as it is called) is like going to a speakeasy: you go down this little alley, through a door without much of a sign, down some stairs, and suddenly you’re in the old postal vaults from the GPO next door. Great food (especially Matt’s quail cassoulet), a couple glasses of good Australian Shiraz, and we judged it an excellent evening.

One “fun” thing about Australian apartments: they do not come with all appliances. So Saturday we headed out to the discount appliance superstore to buy everything electric. Another co-worker, Maria, had volunteered to take us to a place in the suburbs. We bought a washer, dryer, refrigerator, TV, vacuum, microwave and a toaster. Whew. The funny part (clue: it wasn’t the final bill) was the guy who helped us: he had just returned from visiting friends in St. Paul! Small world. And just so you know we are observant: he too remarked on how much cheaper the beer is in Minnesota (see our post on September 3)

After the shopping we drove down to the coast, looking for an outdoor restaurant with a bay view, enjoying the gorgeous spring weather (70 degrees, bright sunshine) and a long bay front drive. Since we had been cooped up in the city for two weeks, it was just what the doctor ordered. We finally wandered into a place called the “Mordiallac Sporting Club”, which is a little sports (that means cricket and footy) club in a town called Mordiallac. You could become a member for the day (free) and eat on the verandah, which had a gorgeous view of Port Phillip Bay. Note to Jared: Marlys had the fish and chips, and the fish was called flake. Flake is shark meat! Yum!

Today we started out with breakfast at Muleta’s, which (DAVID PAY ATTENTION) consistently wins the award for the best pancakes in Melbourne. It is also right next to the Queen Victoria Market, where we did some fruit & veg shopping. We then walked through the CBD and across the Yarra to the National Gallery of Victoria (the NGV) to see the traveling Guggenheim exhibit. We ended up joining the NGV, which gets us into the Member’s Club (ooh – free tea and cookies!) and also gives us and guests (hint, hint) discounts or free entry into a lot of exhibits and museums throughout Victoria and Australia.

September is playoff month in Australia, with the footy finals and rugby finals both going on. Footy and rugby are far and away the most popular sports, so the newspapers are about 80% devoted to those sports, 10% to the racing form, and 10% other news (oh, was George Bush in Sydney for APEC?). Today there was a big game for each sport in Melbourne, so the streets were thronged with people in jerseys, scarves, face paint, etc.

After the NGV hunger was getting the best of us, and we were on our way to the temp apartment when we saw the Immigration Museum was having their annual German Fest. A museum providing knockwurst, German hash browns, and German beer? Culture is a wonderful thing!

Now a note to readers: you can leave a comment (just below) anytime. We check every day and love to hear what’s up with you!

Working it

2007-09-05T14:14:00.000+10:00

So how was the first week at work I hear you ask?

First off, the entire staff is absolutely wonderful. They are obviously a tight knit team, but they welcome us with open arms and smiles. They are kind, funny, and patient with the new Yanks. They have volunteered to help us house hunt, give references, suggest restaurants, and discuss any and all aspects of Melbourne living – in short they take an active interest in seeing that we are settling in. They have also already learned to poke fun at out foibles (few that they are). In short – we feel right at home!

Here’s how the week went:
Monday: half the staff was at an off-site event for the day, so we were able to ease into things. After a spin around the office (10 minutes) and meeting the staff who were in (20 minutes), we got down to some actual work. Matt’s blackberry had been buzzing with a few minor disasters over the weekend so he was especially eager to respond to some pressing issues. There as a small welcoming lunch (Japanese, yum) and at the end of the day we all went over to the Crown Hotel for a happy hour.

The Crown Hotel is part of the Crown Casino complex, which is a Vegas like casino in the heart of Melbourne, just on the south side of the Yarra River (the river cuts through the southern part of the city the central business district is to the north). The happy hour was held in a special floor normally restricted to high rollers (someone know someone?) that had two story windows with 270 degree panoramic views. I never realized the amount of neon in Melbourne. Anyway, a few free drinks and some get to know you chat we took a cab back to the pied de terre and went to bed. We stayed awake until 8!

On Tuesday we attempted to get our visas stamped at immigration. After arriving at 1 PM, were given # B198. They were currently serving #B150. After 25 minutes they were on # B153 so we decided to bag it and try again on Friday.

Tuesday afternoon the office threw us a "Welcome Tea" towards the end of the day. The theme was an "Aussie Feast", which consisted of (American translation in parentheses):

Fairy Bread (white bread with butter and colored sugar sprinkles on top). Kids love this!
Shrimp from the barbie (duh)
Vegemite on toast (brewer's yeast extract on toast)
Chicken skewers (self explanatory)
Spring rolls (ditto)
Tim Tams (really good cookies)
Meat pies (baby size pastys. Makes us long for the UP and a real pasty)
Champagne, beer and wine ("tea" to Australians after 4 PM)

This led to the following exchange the next day:
Anthea (co-worker) - "Hi Marlys, do you want a piece of fairy bread?"
Marlys - "No thanks, Anthea, I just had a Tim Tam."
Perfectly normal in Australia, perfectly odd in the US.

Matt likes vegemite. No, he’s not just trying to fit in - he really does like it. He is now having it on his breakfast toast most mornings.

The people from the office seem to get together as a group fairly frequently. On Wednesday, Jen (who picked us up at the airport) had organized dinner and tickets for Phantom of the Opera. We went to European for dinner, whose cuisine was, as you might expect, European - Italian pasta, German schnitzel, French fois gras, etc. It was delicious. Aussies are great dinner companions. They are very outgoing and conversational, and opinions are to be shared, not held. It was just like dinner with Matt’s family.

"Phantom" was in a very old, recently restored theater – the Princess. Our seats were 4th row, dead center. Jen pulled a string or two I think. It was an excellent show, and Marlys screamed a very lady-like, "holy crap!" when the chandelier came down, which was Matt’s favorite part (he’d seen it before so knew it was coming).

Thursday – we collapsed into bed after work. No event. Very nice.

Friday we went to immigration the minute it opened. Took a grand total of 10 minutes. Timing is everything, even at the DAIC. Then with two rather plain looking visas in our passports we went to the bank to access our account. We had opened the account over the internet and deposited a nice sum there for our arrival, but couldn’t access the account until we could show our passport and visa. This 10 minute process took about an hour and a half. We were "helped" by a woman named Chitty and, you guessed it, we got Chitty service. Eventually we had an open account, but no checkbook, ATM card, etc yet. Ugh.

Did we go out and party Friday night? No, we made dinner, read and watched a little TV, and researched neighborhoods to start the apartment hunt the next day. Stay tuned….

Aussie phrase-of-the-day: "rug up" means "dress warmly". Lately it’s been chilly so we’ve had to rug up.

Rest of the Weekend

2007-09-04T13:42:00.000+10:00

For all of you waiting on pins and needles for our next post (judging by the number of comments, that means Danny and Nancy), here’s a run down of what we’ve been up to.

When we last posted your intrepid travelers had safely arrived in the Paris of the South. After leaving the South Melbourne Market, we wandered back to our apartment via Federation Square, which is the sort of Times Square of the city, and also home to the main tourist bureau. After loading up with maps and other freebies for our visitors to use (hint, hint) we got on the Circle Tram.

[NOTICE: the following is original work and not written by Metlink] Melbourne has a fantastic public transit system. It is served by a huge network of trams and trains as well as busses. The tram network is the largest in the southern hemisphere and you have to get pretty far out to outrun the tram network. Of course, that’s where the regional train network still has service, and it costs the same to ride a train or tram, and you can switch from one to another on your trip at no cost. Very civilized. The Circle Tram is a free tram that circles the CBD (downtown to us Yanks), running in each direction and arriving every 10 minutes. It goes by almost all the major tourist draws. It rocks.

A quick trip on the Circle Tram took us back fairly close to our apartment, where we had a bite to eat and went to bed. At 6PM.

A bit about our temporary apartment. It is a one bedroom place and is a bit tight because we did bring six suitcases. But it is clean, has a big kitchen, is serviced 6 times a week, is close to work, and has windows on two sides for plenty of light. One real piece of bad news is the location: we are at what must be the highest point in Melbourne. That means we are always walking up hill to get home. Tiring, especially if you’re carrying something like groceries, suitcases, FedEx deliveries, coffee pots, etc. And because we are surrounded by office towers, there is no view like you’d normally have in such elevated circumstances. But all in all – a minor annoyance.

Sunday we were up at 4 AM, bright eyed and ready to go. Matt went for a run at 6 or so, dodging club goers who were definitely NOT on the way home yet. We did a little shopping (Matt’s riff on Australian retail to come) and decided to explore our temporary neighborhood that day. We found the nearest supermarket (Coles) for supplies. Just like a Lunds, except you can buy alcohol any day of the week (Score one, Melbourne), even if said alcohol is more expensive (Score one, Minnesota). Prices on food are about the same, although bananas are much more expensive for some reason.

At about 4 PM, already fading, we repaired to our pied a terre to rest for our first day of work. While resting, we learned about Australian TV. Let’s see: there was Aussie Rules Football (“footie” in Victoria), cricket, track and field, another footie match, rugby, a third footie match (this one took place yesterday but, hey, some people may have been in a coma so it’s new to them), soccer, and the news. If only there was some footie!

We made it until 7 PM - then it was lights out.

That’s the weekend. More to come….

23-25 August 2008 - The First Day

2007-08-28T15:40:00.000+10:00

The flights from MSP to MEL were good. Matt slept almost 2 hours on the LA leg and we each got 6+ hour on the Melbourne leg. So we felt fairly rested when we arrived. The flight from LAX to Melbourne actually "wasn't excruciating" to use Marlys' term. With the sleep and an open seat next to us we could spread out and relax. Biggest letdown was we slept through dinner and drinks and so missed the first VB (our favorite Aussie beer, Victoria Bitter) opportunity! The oddest moment was about an hour from landing when we flew over the Dividing Range and saw snow. Not they way you think of Oz, even when you know it's winter.

While in LA we met our friend Anne and she took us out Hacienda Del Sol for a little Mexican (and I don't mean Speedy Gonzalez). We love HdS - fabulous food and a great way to break up the trip. And next time Matt will finally say to hell with long flights and have the garlic shrimp.

Walking out of customs, we were surprised by our new co-worker Jen at the airport. She drove us to our temporary housing and had thoughtfully stocked our fridge and cupboards for us! We then popped by the PDI office for a quick tour and then Jen dropped us at the South Melbourne Market (big farmers market) where we enjoyed breakfast and a sunny morning. Weather was warm and sunny like a crisp fall day in Minnesota, which felt wonderful after a day on planes. If only there were college football.....

With all the events, work and stress of moving (Thursday was more than a mite stressful) we really haven't had a chance to think about what we are doing for a long time. But somewhere over the South Pacific it started to hit us: this is not a vacation and we were not going to be back at home in a few weeks. A very introspective moment. We are nevertheless very excited about this unique opportunity and consider ourselves so fortunate to have this adventure.

Good Bye, Minnesota!

2007-08-23T06:06:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow is the big day. Flight for LA leaves about 5, we arrive Saturday at about 8 AM, Qantas and Northwest willing.

Since we are leaving tomorrow, only have time for a short post. Marlys and I just want to say thanks to everyone who has helped us with the move, bid us farewell, or lent an ear and support over the last few months. You've made it both easier and harder to leave!

Specifically, we want to thank (in no particular order):

Bill, Joe, and Dale for the design, transport and construction labor to create the Portland Avenue mini-storage facility.
Anne Barton - for flying across country, getting us organized around what would stay and what would be shipped, and for all the packing, errands, etc.
Dale, Jean, Britta, and Esko for many days of packing and moving assitance - running errands, helping with home projects, etc.
Dad for painting.
Mo and Steph for taking over the 1944 household.
Haggs, Mids, Bri and Finbar for the going away party, with a special thanks to Haggs and Tanya for the legwork (a cold VB awaits).
Beth and Cork for the going away pool party (in rain and cold!).
The Beavers for the DVD player that will last the entire LAX-MEL flight.
Dale and Jean for the family BBQ (in rain and cold! yes, there's a theme here...).
The Beavers for lunch at Palomino (Kathy, don't leave early next time - wait long enough and Lisa will reach for her credit card!)
Gladys and Henry for celebrating Thanksgiving in August! It was a fabulous feast with all the Turkey day trimmings! Thanks to Nancy, Paavo, Kristine, and Chuck for making the trek in from MI to join us.
Bill for car storage.
Haggs for the dump run and the brilliant idea to have Coneys when it was closed.
Mom, Dad and Luba for last minute details and errands on the day we left. Otherwise we'd still be in St Paul!
All the friends, family, nieces, and nephews for the last minute visits. Especially Elias for coming in from Denver; Laurie Singer in from PA; Anne in from LA; Auntie Lil from MI; and Kevin Kerns from Philadelphia.
All of our family members for being at least a bit understanding about the fact we won't be around to help out and share laughs as much as we'd like

I'm sure I've missed a lot of people, so a big "I'm sorry" for the omission and a bigger "thanks!" for everything you did. Your room awaits you in Melbourne.

Twenty Questions

2007-04-06T03:44:00.000+10:00

It seems the easiest way to begin our blog is with a little Q&A. These are all actual questions we've received, and are presented in no particular order:

1.Q: Why are you creating a blog? A: Marlys and I are moving to Melbourne, Australia, which is a long way from St. Paul. Almost literally on the other side of the world. So, thanks to the wonders of the world wide web, we're creating a blog as the most effective way to keep friends, family, and an as yet undetermined number of late night internet surfers current on our lives.

2. Q: Melbourne? Sounds Cool. A: Yes. It is cool in August, but hot in January. Sort of like Bizarro St Paul.

3. Q: When are you leaving? A: We're planning to go this summer. Exact time depends on the good graces of the US, Australian, Canadian and some local governments, as well as our ability to transition from our current jobs.

4. Q: Do you both have jobs awaiting you? A: Yes. Although the Australian dole does get high marks, they don't grant visas in the "shifty freeloader" category.

5. Q: What are you doing with your house? A: As of today (5 April 2007) we plan to rent it. But watch this space.

6. Q: What will your jobs be like? A: Pretty similar to the way they are now. Marlys will be the account executive for Melbourne, which includes western Oz. Matt will continue as corporate attorney supporting Asia-Pacific and corporate initiatives. The real change will be increased responsibility and working in a different culture.

7. Q: Can we visit? A: Yes. Although we ask visitors to bear in mind Oscar Wilde's comparison of guests and fish.

8. Q: When? A: Any time - rooms are first come, first served.

9. Q: Aren't you afraid of the box jelly fish, funnel spiders, king brown snakes, blue ringed octopi, etc. (thanks Jared and Corrina)? A: Only a little. These critters are rarely encountered in an office environment. But we'll heed Corrina's advice: "Watch out. They're deadly - and they can kill you too!"

10 Q: Why is your blog called "Alian Travels"? A: Title courtesy of our nephew Will. He was a bit nervous about Australia because when he was told it was full of Australians, he tuned out the first syllable. A few sleepless nights later, he was assured there is a real difference between "stralians" and "aliens". Although I think there is a lingering doubt there nonetheless. Fear not, Will! The only aliens in Australia will be resident aliens -- like us!

11. Q: Why Melbourne? Why not Sydney or somewhere else? A: Because that's where our work is. Melbourne is the second largest city in Australia, was settled by regular people (i.e, not convicts), is the sporting capital of Australia (and if you know Australians, that says a lot), and did you know it's thrice been voted "World's Most Livable City" by no less an authority than The Economist?

12. Q: How long will you be gone? A: We've committed to two years. After that......

13. Q: Won't you miss us? A: Terribly.

14. Q: Will you get a sexy Australian accent? A: One can only hope.

15. Q: When will you come back to visit? A: Yes, Mom, we'll be back for Christmas. And as often as we can otherwise.

16. Q: Where will you live there? A: TBD. We'll be in temporary housing to start and look for a place to rent. Right now the only criteria is that we are on the ocean (Port Phillip Bay actually). We've lived in the dead center of the continent so long that we've earned an ocean view.

17. Q: How is the food in Australia? A: Just like the TV commercials tell you. Blooming onions, shrimp on the barbie, and Fosters three times a day. Seriously.

18. Q: Does the toilet really swirl backwards when you flush in Australia? A: Yes. And if you flush when directly over the equator it creates a rift in the fabric of time and space. I know. I've done it.

19. Q: No pictures, no links, no video. Why is this blog so lame? A: Agreed. Will learn to do all of the forgoing.

20. Q: Just what is "fair dinkum"? A: Don't know, but we will find out!